Want to Play A Game

Matt’s POV

I am so pissed at myself for blaming Jessica for all of this; she is distracting me. I have never been so sloppy to get caught on a video with one of my victims. What the fuck is wrong with me. Knowing I need to distance myself from Jessica before she will become my next victim of choice. Especially now she has messed everything up for me, her attraction has made me lose control. I don’t like to fill controless it makes me crazy. I am so full of anger I can’t even go back to my apartment, afraid of what I may not want to hurt her but craving her body against mine. I try so hard to resist her, but then my body takes over and forced me to take what it wants.Text property © Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org.

I have never felt these kinds of feelings for any woman in my life, I could always get what I wanted and be done with them. With her, it’s different the feeling are not going away I can’t escape my feels fuck I’m so frustrated. She is constantly on my mind; I know what I need to do, but I don’t want to. I want to see where this goes, but I know it’s not a good idea. I don’t want a relationship with her, but then again l don’t want anybody else but her. I see that she texts me; I think it is so sweet that she is worried about me, I don’t respond to her. I need to get her mad, so she leaves me alone. I don’t want to hurt her, but what choice do I have? I cannot bring her in to my world, she could never survive it. I care about her; I have to protect her from myself.

The detectives are asking questions I know all the answers I know where the girl is where exactly I buried each one of her body parts, but I do not dare tell them. I am not ready to stop I get too much enjoyment out of it. They might have a video of me with her, but that is it. There is no evidence at all That leads them to believe that I had done anything with her. I am no dummy; I know how to manage my crimes without getting caught. Even though this is the first time anyone has ever gotten me on tape with one of my victims. So, I am pissed at myself for slacking There should not be any evidence with me being with any of my victims. I have been so careless lately trying to ever come across this feeling that I have for Jessica that it’s making me become sloppy if I don’t stop I will get caught.

I leave the police station; I want to tell Jessica that I am on my way home, but I can’t. I need to distance myself from her, I can’t be this person who falls for a woman. As I get up to my apartment door, I am glad that she is nowhere to be seen. I feel terrible ignoring her and not answering, but I know it is the best thing to do. If I am on able to resist her, I’m going to have to move again not wanting to because of what just happened I don’t want to make things suspicious for myself.

I see that Jessica Texts me that the police were at her house interviewing her about one of the girls that I was with. Wondering what the hell she talked to the detective about wanting to know everything that she has told them. What is she going to think of me? She was letting me, knowing that one of the girls I was with is suddenly missing. Will she even want to come around me, or will she think that I had something to do with it? I love playing games but this game I am not sure if I am capable of playing this game any longer.

I wanted her to explore her sexuality more than anything; I wanted her to see what I see when I look at her. That is my problem, I can’t help but love what I see I want every bit of her and I don’t want to let her go. I know if I don’t let her go that I will destroy her. I really don’t even know why I care if I do, but for some reason I can’t bare to destroy something so unique. Now that I brought her out of her shell, I have to let her go before I hurt her. My temptation for killing is all I want she does not take that away, but I wouldn’t dare harm her. I am just afraid if I don’t satisfy my craving for killing that I will eventually I might harm her.

I can’t leave now, it would look too bad since I’m being investigated for that bitch. Still shocked I was so careless not seeing that fucking camera, but when it goes away, I need to leave. I don’t know I’m going to be able to resist Jessica; she makes me crazy. I’m just going to have to start fucking around with other women, and she will get upset and mostly likely she will hate my guts, I need to get her to hate me, but I really didn’t want to hurt her. She will get over it and move on, she deserves better than what I am able to give her.