I Swear, Let Me Love You Again

LYDIA’S POV: THAT EVENING: I alighted from one of the cars my father had given to me, though I had more than enough money to purchase any type of vehicle of my choice, I decided that I wouldn’t until Andrew was awake. I placed my hands in the pocket of my jacket strolling towards our perfect bench in the entire park. I smiled small watching kids playing around bringing memories of Lorena, Aaron and I playing and I always had a vague memory of other kids but I couldn’t clearly remember. I nervously ran my hands across my leather pants when I saw Aaron sitting on the bench staring straight ahead with two cups in his hands. Taking a few more steps, I took a seat next to him on our ‘perfect bench’ and I stared anywhere but at him looking around the park without uttering a word. The memories played in my head just like a movie when two characters are about to part ways but that wouldn’t be our situation because the three of us had made a promise to be friends forever. But does that promise remain when one catches feelings for the other but it’s one sided? “Remember when your father had a bunch of nannies and guards following us here, about two years after your mum’s passing?” He began and I chuckled lightly humming in response. “Yeah, it was honestly the worst.” He handed a cup containing warm chocolate topped up with cream. We always had this since the store had opened back in high school, it was our go to. “It was but it was the most I had seen you during that time. And it wasn’t until our time apart that year that I had realized how much you meant to me. I thought it was simply friendship but I realized it was more especially when you and Lorena talked about your crushes.” He spoke still looking forward while I kept my gaze on his side profile. “Everytime I wanted to open up to you on how I felt, I chickened out until the day I had finally concluded it was time to let you know many years later, then I found out you were getting married. I was crushed and even after everything which I totally take accountability for because I was the coward, you still never even for once saw me as anything other than your friend. For some corny reason, I even picturered you and I watching our kids play around on our “perfect” bench.” He chuckled humorlessly glancing at me with glassy eyes and I bit down my lip playing with my fingers. His feelings were that serious? How come I had never seen them? “No, you shouldn’t feel bad. It’s not my intention to make you feel bad at all, I just wanted to share it all with you in order to start afresh. Over the past weeks, I realized that it was time to move on and return back to my business and life back in the Neredia, it will be easier and better for me.” I was probably part of the reasons he left the first time and now he was about to leave again and this time I was certain it was still my fault again. I wasn’t sure if it was because it was close to my period or just how I genuinely felt in the moment but I found myself crying quietly, tears literally following down my eyes. “Why are you crying? Lydia.” He rose up and squatted in front of me using his thumb to clean my tears away. “I’m just so sorry…I never, never…meant to hurt you. This is all my fault.” I cried using the back of my hand to clean my tears away and he sighed deeply gazing into my eyes. “I never meant to feel I blamed you for this, you have been the absolute best friend and first love I have ever had. I just need to take a step back and a moment to accept it all, I mean I literally pictured my return to Neredia with you in my arms as my wife. So it’s a process, alright?” My heart hurt and I cried some more but he raised up in front of me chuckling. “I’m going to have to snitch to Andrew telling him his little girl has been a cry baby.” I sniffled, cleaning my eyes and stood up in front of him, watching him blink away. His tears hurt me deeply. I wish I saw him as more than a friend, I wish I was ready to give love a chance in my life again but I couldn’t. It was too hard, I had loved Nathaniel with all my heart and healing from those hurt feelings took a while and I wasn’t ready to go back there. I just couldn’t. “Shut up.” I playfully spoke and he smiled, staring at me in a certain way. “I hope everything works with you and Nathaniel because deep down you know you still love him and he loves you as well. Don’t argue with me, I’m observant.” He pointed out and I let out a breath refusing to object to his conclusion. Did I have feelings for Nathaniel? Not at all. He stretched out his hands for a hug and I instantly embraced him, he held onto me like this was the last time he would ever do it and it shattered my heart into a million pieces. Without saying a word, we both knew that this parting was more just for a while, it just might be forever. Or was I exaggerating? After he escorted me to my car, I looked back at our perfect bench, smiling sadly at the  reason we had named it, “The perfect bench” . It was simply because we could hide under it when we played around. It was perfect for us.NôvelDrama.Org (C) content.

********* AT THE HOSPITAL. I had just arrived from a short meet up with my editor and pulled up in front of the hospital building. I was seated in my car just processing the events of today, I picked up my phone thinking as I looked at Nathaniel’s message which I had ignored earlier.