Want to Play A Game

My whole body is shivering with pleasure that he just gave me I could do this all the time. We both are still trying to catch a breath I wonder if I affect him like he affects me. How can one person have such an effect on your life. I get down from the table and just stare at him not sure how to stare the conversation he then starts getting dressed.

“You don’t have to leave you could stay a little if you would want too.”

“No that’s alright I got things I need to get done thank you.”

Just like that he is gone out the door I am standing there in shock not realizing I am so naked. So I decided to get a shower the water runs over my tender body from him fucking me so hard it actually feels fantastic. I can’t believe that he sorted just came got with you wanted and left. I am not sure if I am actually going to be OK with that I thought it would be fine. No attachments not have to worry about anyone trying to control me. I just don’t think that kind of lifestyle will be for me. As a shut the water off to dry myself off to get dressed I sort of feel dirty. I would still like to do things with Him, I just don’t think that I am cut out for this It’s lonely afterwards.

I hear my phone go off I go to check it’s a text message from Matt “Do you have any plans for dinner.”

I decided not to answer him maybe I need to try to back off in the feelings will go away. It’s not like I love him it’s almost like an infatuation. I think it will be better if I just stay clear of him and try to avoid him as much as possible. The way he left earlier just really made me think this isn’t me. I have never been this kind of girl I want to experiment and have fun, but I just can. It’s not worth the cost of it all in the end your just alone. I mean don’t get me wrong I love the way he makes me feel it’s incredible I’ve never felt it in my entire life. I am just not really sure if the pleasure is worth more than the affection of someone else.

I left Jake because he was too overbearing he wanted to move too fast when I did not want to. Now Matt is no strings attach friends with benefits always a good time and am not satisfied. Maybe my feelings are more for him than what I expected maybe I care about him, and that’s why I am so disappointed. He warned me all about this before we even had sex. I should a knew that I would not been able to deal with it. This is going to just be awkward now him being my neighbor and all. You knew this would happen god what is wrong with me.

I hear a knock at my door I go to see who it is and its Matt I don’t want to answer it.

“Come on Jess I know your home answer please.”

I feel defeated I don’t want him to see me this way, so I don’t answer it I just let him knock. I should just open the door to see what he is going to say, but I just can’t bring myself to do so.Upstodatee from Novel(D)ra/m/a.O(r)g

I know it only 5pm, but I’m exhausted, so, I decide to just lay on my bed and go under the covers as I cry myself to sleep.