Fifty-Three
She’d once been a dare, and I wanted to be more ashamed, but I still wasn’t. “You think you’re so damn irresistible, Jonas. If so, you shouldn’t mind making a friendly wager with me,” Kristopher had suggested over winter break. When I’d asked what I had to do, the arrogant smirk on my friend’s face should’ve been enough to make me turn it down. Truth was, at that time, I truly did believe I could do anything.
“What’s the game,” I could still hear myself saying.
“We both take a zero and see who can turn them into a ten sooner,” came the response.
I’d never considered her a zero, per se, but she was the antisocial girl no one knew anything about. She had no friends, and her style seemed to be stuck in the past decade. Kristopher had picked someone that’d pose less of a challenge, but not me. I thrived under pressure and believed in my hype when it came to my charm. I hadn’t been wrong either because she did eventually fall for me.
Kristopher had equal success when it came to his and instead of calling it a draw, my arrogance wouldn’t let me accept a tie and I had taken it much further. “Will I win if I fuck her on prom night and show you the proof?”
Kristopher had laughed because he thought it impossible. It wasn’t like we hadn’t done similar types of things in the past. Even beyond the dare, I had wanted her especially after exerting so much energy in trying to transform her image. Fucking her would be an added incentive. That should’ve been my first clue that something was fundamentally screwed up inside of me, but I ignored the obvious signs. It’s all gone wrong, however, and I no longer had to wonder what had happened to her. Now, I knew.
My eyes continued to trail lazily down her body. She left very little to the imagination in that particular dress, and I was happy to see I hadn’t destroyed her self-confidence the way I’d always feared I had. I was a very virile man, so naturally, my mind immediately went to the gutter. As my gaze lingered on her thighs, I couldn’t get the image of me burying my head between her legs out of my mind. Maybe, we could do it again for old times’ sake. I would taste her as I had on prom night, and see if I could draw out those same sounds from her. She’d been so responsive, the noises she made ingraining themselves into my memory long after.Copyright by Nôv/elDrama.Org.
“It’s been a long time,” I finally spoke once I forced my eyes to return to her face, one which had barely aged over the years. Her graceful features had become more pronounced, but she’d always had a very pretty face and an even more beautiful smile. It could’ve been my mere presence… my words… or she might have known what I’d been thinking because she scowled, even it doing very little to mar her beauty. Annoyance mixed with the defiance I’d noticed earlier, the combination making me even harder.
“Not long enough,” she responded flippantly.
Kenzie placed her hands on her hips, the action doing nothing to deter me from talking more. “I’d ask how you are, but since you’re here and I have two eyes, I can see you’re doing a lot better than…” My voice trailed off as I thought about the last time I had seen her on that rooftop.
I never thought she was suicidal and had tried my best to break up those rumors as they made their way like fire through the rumor mill at Spencer Academy in the weeks that had followed that fateful day. She had been fragile, but I’d been the one to break her into pieces. That realization stayed with me for the remainder of the year, even being a driving factor in my moving across the country to play ball. Everyone had known what I’d done; the stigma of nearly driving a girl to her death suffocated me.
At Stanford, no one knew me or what I’d done. In many ways, I’d been able to reinvent myself. Some things were harder to shed, however, and my love of partying and women were a few of them. I’d never taken another dare or bet when it came to them, even though others had tried once or twice to get me to change my mind. Guilt over breaking Kenzie made sure that I never reneged on that. I did continue to treat women as the sex objects I considered them, but I made sure to let them know what to expect upfront, so there were no misunderstandings.
“I’ve never been better, so if you’ll excuse me,” she said as she tried to move around me.
On instinct, I blocked her path. “So, you’re a chef?”
The answer was obvious, but I found myself wanting to be in her company for a little while longer. I’d never known how fucked up I had been back then until I’d started talking to her in high school. We’d confided several things in one another, and that’d been something I’d never been able to do with another woman since, which likely explained the string of one-night stands. Most of my issues revolved around the fact that I’d been living in my brother’s shadow, and as I thought about Logan, in a way, I supposed I still was.
“Yes,” she replied quickly, then attempted to sidestep me on the other side.
Blocking that maneuver as well, I just kept talking, hoping some of the small talks would settle her enough to stay a little while longer. “Are you married? Kids?”
I had known both things had been goals of hers, Kenzie often mentioning them when we were alone together. In her locker, I’d even found the notebook where she’d scribbled our names together. Mackenzie Courtland. It’d been another dagger to my chest when I realized exactly how successfully I had duped her.
“Maybe,” she said, before adding, “not that it’s any of your business.”
With that response, I looked down at both hands, none of which contained any sort of ring. She could have children but without marriage? I doubted it. She was a minister’s daughter, and as such, her father had instilled certain values in her, and I doubted she’d stray far from them again. “Liar.”
Her eyes raised to mine, and there now burned a fire I’d never seen before. Kenzie squared her shoulders but otherwise seemed completely unaffected. “That’s like the pot calling the kettle black, don’t you think?”
“Boyfriend?” I asked. I would’ve liked to think I was simply making conversation, but the truth was that it was more than idle curiosity. My hard dick confirmed that.
“Again, it’s none of your business,” she answered as she peered over my shoulder.
A slight noise behind us caused me to turn, and when I did, Kenzie managed to get away. The culprit was the woman in red that she’d been talking to earlier and I watched as the two hurried back inside. I almost followed, but didn’t. Instead, I turned to look out at the same view she’d been captivated by when I first stepped outside.
What were the odds that I’d run into the one girl I’d never been able to completely forget? And one so integral to my growth as a man who now despised the very air I breathed? I couldn’t blame her in the slightest. What I’d done back to her in high school had been horrible. It’d started as a game, something I considered so harmless, but had turned into a life-altering moment. It was then I realized the targets had changed, but little else had. I was still the same sick fuck I’d ever been, and it was enlightening in a way.
“I’m sorry, Kenzie,” I said out loud. For years after I’d left Houston, I’d wanted nothing more than to apologize for everything. It’d been a foreign concept for me and not something I had ever wanted to do before, or after, her. Now, I had my chance to do that, and if she’d let me, I’d even prove I was sincere.
I finally turned around and reentered the room, my eyes going immediately to where she stood with her dark-haired friend. Both had full glasses of champagne and as I made my way farther into the space, Kenzie’s friend looked at me and smirked.
She then raised her glass, and I shook my head. There was no telling what Kenzie had told her about me. I had every intention of going over to them, but it was time for me to talk about CHG Seaport. Heading in the opposite direction, I stepped onto the platform in front of the large drop screen with my hotel on it.
I then forced myself to forget her for now and took a few seconds to test out the microphone. When I finally got it working, I cleared my throat which got the attention of everyone in the room. “Good evening. My name’s Jonas Courtland, and I’m with the Courtland Hospitality Group.”