Unforgiven Sins

Cinyla’s POV

A few days  passed and the closeness between the two of us is getting more specific . Does it have to be like this? Why is the person who likes me so handsome? I can’t understand my feelings right now, it is so difficult to determine. I feel like I’ve lost my mind because of my thoughts. I just looked up and saw the beauty of the clouds, the beauty of their shape as if they were soft cotton. I hope I can reach them. I hugged my own arms when I felt a sudden strong wind blow. I also looked at the sky and see the hiding of the sun king. I hurry to the side where someone could take shelter from the sudden downpour of heavy rain.

I’m currently sitting on the hammock, the surroundings are very quiet because I’m probably the only one up here.

Today is Saturday and I choose to relax on our terrace. Honestly, a lot has happened in the past few days and I am always tested whenever he is around. I gently closed my eyes and choose to feel the heavy rain falling and cradled myself in this cold place.

After a while I heard my name being called.

“Cinyla… Cinylaaaa!”  my mom creamed.

I shook slightly but kept my eyes closed. I ignored mommy’s loud voice.

A few moment as if there was an angel in my midst, and suddenly I sat up properly because of what I saw.

“S-sir?” I stand up without doing anything just in a hurry since I totally shock that he is here right now. I didn’t realize that he was in front of me.

He came and hugged me tightly. I tried to get away from his hug but I am now here giving him a chance to do it, wondering what was happening. Why is he here? What is his  problem?

“I miss you so much, Cinyla. Can I stay here with you even just one night?” he asked with his lovely voice. I seemed dumbfounded by his question. I don’t know why he is weird right now. Whatever his problem is, I don’t care. But I am here, allowing him to hug me.

“Why are you here?” He broke away from the hug when he saw that I was serious.

“I am so sorry. I just miss you, I can’t do anything, I just think of you. Do you still see that man?” I raised an eyebrow at his question. That means he has no rest because of what he thinks about me and Joshua. I can’t believe it.

“No,” I said curtly and went back to lying on the hammock. He is overly weird right now, he just came here to ask me that simple question and I know he is just jealous. I can’t imagine that’s what he really came here for.

Until there is silence because I slowly closed my eyes in my annoyance because of him going. When I looked to see if he was still standing in front of me, he was sitting beside the swing.

I looked at his face, he was totally fatigued. I came closer to him, his soft face was removed. “I know that you missed me too,” he said while holding my hand. “Huh?” I said innocently. He smiled slightly as he thought his prediction was true. But when he said those things, I couldn’t understand how I feel now. Until I realized this scenario is the best to win her heart. To be honest, I don’t know why I still thought about finding out the truth. I am still wondering and confused if ever we are siblings by father.

I sit next to him and tried to do what I thought. I need to get his full attention to facilitate my plans. I know he is getting jealous of my close friend Joshua.

“Regarding your question a while ago, yes I agree. After all, you can stay here on weekends. You can use the guest room like before so you can rest too.” I smiled in front of him and made him feel that I care even though the truth is that everything I do next is just part of my plan. I need to know the truth. I don’t want our feelings to last any longer, even if it hurts to know the end of it, but it needs to be cut off as soon as possible.

I stand up and pulled his hand. “Let’s go, rest in your room. The rain is getting stronger. I know you are tired, Joshua and I don’t have a relationship. He is my close friend. So, Sir Ben Chua tell me, are you jealous of him?” I wonder why his mood is different. He acted so cute when he snorted in front of me, I wanted to pinch him but I stopped myself. Stop, Cinyla! You shouldn’t be put off by his handsomeness and cuteness.

“Of course not! Why would I? That brunette man is more handsome than me! Why do you want him?” he answered as if he was getting something from his question.

“W-what? Is it really not or are you really jealous?” I teased him but he ignored it and just turned his back. “Nothing, Cinyla. Let’s go to your room.”

My eyes widened at his response. What room do I have? He is stiff! I came closer and preceded him. “You are not going to rest in my room, the guest room is right next to my room and you are there. Don’t wait for me to send you out,” I said gruffly and left the terrace. He is not far from the room but there is a door on the left side where you go out and it opens to my room.

“Okay fine! I get you. But let me remind you that I don’t want to see him with you. I’m disgusted.”

We are currently in my room and I stopped when he said those things, he bowed and the aura changed. I fell silent and felt my heart beat faster, but at this point the reason for the speed was not thrill but pain. He is now standing in front of me as if holding heaven and earth. I can’t bear to see him like that, it’s the first time I’ve seen him jealous like this.

He looked at me and came closer. He held my hand and said, “I admit, I feel jealous about the last time when I saw both of you. I’m hurt, Cinyla. It hurts. It hurts so much, you know that I love you, right? But why are you hurting me like this? Don’t you like me?” My heart almost broke when I heard the broken tone of his voice. I also noticed that there was a tear on the left side of his eye.

Why are you like this BenChua? I don’t want to hurt you but I feel like I’ve hurt you like never before.

“I am so sorry for expressing my feelings and thoughts to you right now. I just feel very heavy and I’m tired, but thank you for letting me stay here again. Alright, I’m going to rest.” He left my room and didn’t even listen to my reaction or answer to what he said. A few seconds passed and only the breeze touched my skin and the shaking of the heavy rain. I was beside myself sitting on my bed.

Presently I sighed and left my bedroom door open. Until later, my cell phone rang. I slowly calmed down before taking it from the table next to my bed on the left side where it was near the door.

I take it and read it.

JOSHUA

Your Mission 101 is starting now. I know that your boss is with you. Do our plan, you will know the truth.

Received. 10:30 a. m

My heart beat so fast and my hand getting cold when  I read his text. How did he know that I was with BenChua? I raised an eyebrow because of the detective skills he has. But maybe he is watching, until I receive another one.

JOSHUA

Calm down, Cinyla. Don’t think a lot. Focus on our goals. I know everything. I’m watching over you. Don’t worry all of this will be safe for me. Just be careful. Don’t fall for him.

Received. 10:32 a. m

I sighed after reading his text messages. I can’t blame him, he knows what happened. I’m the only one who doesn’t want to believe him. I am totally freaked out because I want to see before believing. It is not easy to believe when there is not enough evidence.

Instead of thinking, I just closed the door. I lay down on my soft bed and looked up. How long will I be like this? I got rid of my ex-user, but I am trapped for a man that I don’t know if he is part of my past. I just closed my eyes softly with my thoughts. I don’t know what to think and do. Until someone knocked on my door. I stopped and got up in no time.

“Cinylla?” BenChua called me from outside my room.

I don’t know why he was looking for me, but instead of speaking, my body seemed to make its own decision and opened the door for him.

As soon as I opened the door, he quickly welcomed me with a hug. I feel something strange, I feel something is happening.

He stopped and said, “I am so sorry to shock you, I am really upset and I want to be with you for this time until at night.” My heart beat faster as if there was a chase of horses to the finish line.

“W-why?”

“I need you. I miss you…”

I was almost dumbfounded and deafened by the tenderness of his voice. Is this the perfect timing to make my plans? But when I remembered the plans, my heart immediately broke. Every time he shows his gentle face, I want to deny and forget whatever there was in our past. To be honest, I feel that I am so bad, if I ever do those things. But I want to know and face it, too much is happening and entering our lives to form and completely end the past.

I bit my lower lip and tried to think of something to say to him. The surroundings were quiet and he was right there in front of me waiting for what I had to say. How do I start? It’s annoying!

“Are you okay? If you are not okay with me staying here. I will just go home, I don’t want you to get into trouble like that.” His aura changed as if he caught heaven and earth because of his sadness.

He was about to leave my room but I quickly grabbed his hand. “Wait…” I quickly let it go because of the electricity I felt. “S-sorry. You can stay here, sorry it took me so long to reply. But yeah, it’s okay with me as long as you fix it.” His smile widened and his face brightened again. He came closer and hugged me as if today was the last time we met.Contentt bel0ngs to N0ve/lDrâ/ma.O(r)g!

“Thank you, Cinyla. Thanks a lot!” he said happily while still hugging me.

I just tried to hug him because I really miss him, I miss the way we used to be. How our relationship started as a simple fight that now ended up in love.

“Alright, let’s rest. Don’t mess around, okay? You’re over there on the left and I’m over here on the right.” I pointed to our place because I didn’t want that to be a reason for the two of us to get closer again. He was smiling now as he was already positioned on the bed where the two of us would sleep.

He held my hand. “Thank you, Cinyla.” A sweet smile appeared on his lips and he lay down. I thought he was going to stop his nonsense but he just turned around and rested. “Good night, Cinyla. Rest well,” he added. I didn’t answer what he had to say because I was still thinking that he might say something else or something, but I got nothing but silence.

I just straightened up and looked up in my ceiling. Why do we need to meet like this? What is really between us? I try to stop overthinking between us and focus on my plan. I need to think of the best plan that will reveal the truth.

I will know it, BenChua. We will know it, soon. I just closed my eyes and chose to rest…

“Cinyla… I miss you.”