Under a Starless Sky

Chapter 47

TL found Shen in the music room, playing the Bogányi. Technically, their piano was a recreation of

Gergely’s Bogányi, created by him and Hungarian engineers to deliver unparalleled precision in tonal

quality, while at the same time as giving a look that was ultra-modern. It was made of Carbon Fiber and

wood. It was not affected by changes in humidity. Likely, most people would not be able to discern the

disparity in scope between this and a Steinway, as most people could not discern between digital

records, an LP’s played through vacuum tube transistor technology. Shen found the wild curves of the

instrument erotically provocative, but then, he found most curves affected him so. It the very curves

that gave increased clarity to the tones that emanated out- and increased their range. The original was

built from scratch, 18,000 components, while this one was printed piece by piece and assembled.

Shen was performing Liszt - Concert Etude no.2 "La leggierezza.” TL did not interrupt him. She

admired how far along his technique had come in this new life. Solitude and smart tech could allow for

this. His eyes were closed. He was not using VR or even Heart Light to see. The last tones dissipated

into the silence of the room. The walls that had shimmered in coherence to the music settled, light

‘ripples’ reflected off a pool that eventually stilled. He became aware of TL and nearly came unglued.

“Fuck! Don’t do that?!” Shen said.

“Sorry,” TL said. “I didn’t mean to.”

“You and Loxy both sneak up on me all the time,” Shen said. He got up and retired to one of the chairs

that was available for listeners. He sat down and took up his tea. It was now just cool enough to drink.

He held it to his lips, feeling the warmth of the cup, breathing the fumes. He drew his legs up into the

chair, lotus position. TL sat on the arm of the chair and leaned into him.

“Ginger tea,” TL said. “Smells great.”

“You made it for me,” Shen said.

“Want to talk?” TL asked.

“I am broken,” Shen said.

“You’re out of practice being social,” TL said.

“I have always been difficult,” Shen said.

“Not always. Context is important,” TL reminded him.

“Why does everything come to fighting?” Shen said.

“Not everything,” TL said.

“Fighting or sex,” Shen corrected.

TL touched him affectionately. “There’s a balance,” she said. “You can’t be a push over. You also can’t

be too aggressive. You have experienced enough extremes that you know what the ‘sweet spot’ is, but

have yet to find a way to sustain it. Individuals and groups have desire to declare their boundaries and

set forth expectations. That is something that must be continually negotiated. People who can’t

negotiate with physical strength or emotional or spiritual intelligence, usually result to duplicity. That,

too, is a form of negotiation, though it tends to be more destructive.”

“Yeah, I get that. But why am I...” Exclusive content © by Nô(v)el/Dr/ama.Org.

“Angry?” TL asked. “Sad? Lonely?”

“Yeah,” Shen said.

“Because the battle you are avoiding on the surface is full on rage inside you,” TL said. “Most the time,

you’re pretty reasonable in the external world. Master the internal, and everything else will come

together.”

“I have been working on it,” Shen said.

“You have. You have made huge strides,” TL said. “But now, it’s time to take what you have learned

through our engagement out into the real world. You need friends. You need experience and practice.

These are good people. I would like you to forge an alliance with Arne and his friends.”

“I like them, too,” Shen said. “I like Arne.”

“I bet all of their women are tall,” TL said.

“Compared to the Tamorians, yeah. Compared to me, yeah,” Shen said.

“And likely reflecting the beauty found in Icelandic women,” TL offered.

“And more reason not to go there,” Shen said.

“No, more the reason to go,” TL said. “If someone wants to hook up, I expect you to accommodate her.

If someone wants a relationship, I want you to explore it.”

“No one there is going to want me. Tall people don’t want short men,” Shen said.

“Contrary to popular belief, there are tall women who like shorter men,” TL assured him. “Your belief

otherwise tells me you’re processing that from your culture of origin, not theirs. You need to update

your paradigm so you can do better math. You don’t know theirs well enough to do math. You like taller.

You and I are the right difference in height that we have eye contact when intimate. I don’t want to see

your chest in my face when we’re coupled; I want your eyes in line with mine. I want your lips on mine.

A super tall guy, chest blinding my face as he hits the headboard with his head, that’s boring. If I

wanted that, I’d get a robot.”

“Is that why we have a butler name Rock?” Shen asked.

“Oh. I like the Rock,” TL said.

“Me, too,” Shen said.

Shen’s eyes went distant.

“What?”

“Just day dreaming. I wonder if I’d get along with the real Rock.”

“It’s hard to say. We don’t know the real Rock. We can divine the personality through the gestalt of his

work, his appearance on talk shows, maybe even from his appearances on the lip-sync battles- but

public face is not private face,” TL said. She slipped into the chair with him. He adjusted his legs out to

accommodate her desire to sit with him. They stared at the pool, an alcove that was design to amplify

sound and reflect it back into the room. “I find it more interesting to understand what it means about

you by who you entertain in you daydreams. The people you admire, the people you vilify- that’s about

you, not about the others.”

“Yeah,” Shen said. He flicked his hand at towards the pool doing ‘tech’ magic. A drip began, hitting the

center of the pool. A water metronome pinged the water. Ripples moved out, hit the boundaries and

returned in time to catch the next drop. “Should I have lingered with the guests?”

“Don’t do that,” TL said. “You needed a time out, you needed a time out. That’s it. No one asked you to

linger. They respected your need. That was meaningful.”

Shen nodded.

“If someone did hook up with me, it’s probably because they see a way to prosper from our wealth,”

Shen said.

“Oh,” TL said. “So you’re wanting a hookup?”

“No. Yes. It’s in my head,” Shen said. “If I needed strange, I could ask you to alter your appearance.”

“You could,” TL said. “Not the same.”

“It is the same,” Shen said.

“It’s all the same in the dark philosophy?” TL asked.

“Pretty much,” Shen said.

“No, it’s not. Taste isn’t the same. Smells are not the same. Sounds are not the same. Touch isn’t the

same,” TL said. “Hell, even I have a variety of toys because I like variety. You think that means you’re

inadequate because my toys span a continuum, and you can’t change your size or girth?”

“I don’t care about that…”

“Jon, intimacy with others makes us stronger as individuals and as a group. It binds us. The problem

with polygamy in your world of origin is there is no long term allegiance to the group, but then again,

there is also no long term allegiance to a single partner. Your world is so compartmentalized that

neither monogamous nor polygamous groups are sustainable. There is too much competition and

coupled with high expectation of idealized other that tolerance for quirks or perceived flaws keep

people locked into the searching. You…”

“I don’t want to trade wealth for intimacy,” Shen interrupted.

“Stop doing math. Even if everyone was equally affluent, we are not equal in assets. The variance in

intelligence, physical attributes, health, emotional and spiritual essences, in the ability to communicate

our strengths and weakness without harming or belittling others- this all goes into it. There will be

people who connect with you and people who don’t. You have more positive attributes than most

people. Many people will want to connect with you, with or without wealth. You have more value than

what you believe.”

“I know,” Shen said.

“Intellectually, yes. Emotionally, you are not there yet,” TL said.

“I know,” Shen agreed.

“You keep saying that, but you don’t. You need Robin Williams to tell you a hundred million times, ‘it’s

not your fault.’ You’ve had past lives where you were dirt poor, lives where you were wealthy. You were

lonely in both. Here, you live like a king…”

“King Midas,” Shen said.

“A king’s a king,” TL said.

“It’s all the same in the dark,” Shen said.

“Oh, fuck me, how do I circle trap with you?” TL said.

Shen smiled, kissed her. “I hear you. I am processing. Let’s change subjects. Did you learn anything

from their book?”

“Yes!” TL said. “I am so happy you asked. The Walking Bears are real! They’re giant Lemurs.”

“Really?” Shen asked.

“People and Lemurs living together in communities,” TL said.

“I want to go there,” Shen said.

“Me, too,” TL said. “Come to bed. Tomorrow might be a full day.”

“Did you notice Arne’s bracelet?” Shen asked.

“The opal,” TL said. “They have Sleeper Immunity.”