Chapter 54
Agatha POV
When I finished preparing the food, I took it to Ethan’s room, including the one I bought earlier while Zey and I were at the mall. I just hope he’s not in a bad mood so that we can talk properly.
I knocked a few times but no one opened so I just went in and saw him standing on the veranda.
“Ethan.” I called him and he looked at me.
“What do you need?” he replied.
“I brought you food because the maid said you haven’t eaten since you came home and I also bought your favorite when Zey and I were at the mall earlier.” I said while smiling.
“I told the maids that I don’t want to eat right? So why did you bring food? I won’t eat that either because I’m still full.” he said seriously.
And because I was stubborn I approached him and pulled him towards the food. “How can you be full if you haven’t eaten yet? Sit down. ” I promised but he just pulled my hand as a reason to throw away the food.
“How many times have I told you that I am not hungry! Can’t you understand it? Or you are just stupid?” he shouted at me.
I can’t help but cry because of what he did, is Ethan really that hard on me? That even in small things seemed like a big deal to him.
I bent down to pick up the food. “You can say it calmly to me. I am not stupid not to understand a certain thing.” I said softly.
“Because you don’t know how to listen! I already told the maids right? And I also told you that I don’t want to eat but you still insisted on it.”
When I finished picking up the food, I put it on the tray. His behavior is really annoying, no matter what I do he will never go back to normal.
“You know what Ethan, you can just tell me if you don’t want me here in your house and in your life I can understand that. I can leave right away. ” I said seriously.
He looked at me badly. “You’re really good at those things, aren’t you? Leaving and leaving. ” he scoffed.
“I don’t want to leave you and you know that because if I wanted to I would have done it for a long time but I didn’t because I want to get you back! But if avoiding you is the only way to keep you from getting hurt, I will do it.” I said.
He laughed. “You have hurt me for how many times Agatha and to this day you are still hurting me.”
“That’s why I’m telling you, isn’t it? If you don’t want to be with me here at home anymore, just tell me so I know when I’m leaving. You know I love you Ethan and I don’t want to see you in pain because of me. ” I said while crying.
“You love me? Why didn’t I ever feel that Agatha? You know what you made me feel? That it is easy for you to choose other things than me, it’s easy for you to leave me whenever you want! I am not part of your dreams and also in your life! ” full of resentment, he said.
“That’s not true! I loved you from the beginning and you were part of my dream that’s why I’m here to make up for you. But how can I do that if you are too hard on me? ” I promise.
“How can I believe in your love if you keep hurting and leaving me? Is that what you call love? Because if it is, it’s better if you do not love me than to crush me over and over again. You are always playing with my feelings.”
And when he said that, I was stunned.
“I love you so much Ethan, believe me. I know I hurt you too much but it hurts me more to see you like this because even I blame myself for why I lost the Ethan I knew! I don’t want to leave you so I persevered to reach my dream so that I will be worth it in your love. You know that you and your family are well-known and I don’t want others to say anything bad about you because I have nothing to be proud of. I just want to prove something in life so that no one will question why you choose me. “I almost crouched in front of him.
“If you had told me that before, I would have understood because I love you, you know that. You care what others will think about you and me but you are not thinking what I will feel. You know I am always telling you that you don’t have to prove anything to me because I love you! You are the reason why I become like this Agatha! You have exhausted the love I have, and it’s difficult to believe you, it’s really hard because I know you will leave me again. I don’t want to be crushed by the same woman again. I hate you but I still love you. It’s really painful to love you Agatha. ”
I didn’t know what to say to him, it was as if I had run out of energy when I saw the tears dripping from his beautiful eyes. Maybe I don’t really deserve Ethan’s love because I never reciprocated, I only caused him pain. I’m so worthless!
I saw his fist clenched which was obviously holding back his anger. “Just please, get out of my room, Agatha.” he said softly and then turned his gaze away.
I got up quickly and hugged him tightly behind his back. “I’m sorry Ethan, I’m sorry for causing too much pain in you. If there is really no hope I will accept it as long as you don’t get hurt anymore, I know I can’t erase the mistake I have done to you but I still hope that one day you will forgive me. ”
He turned to me and stared at me carefully, I could still see the tears in his eyes so I wiped them with my fingers. Then I touched his face and kissed him on the lips, he didn’t respond so I already knew the answer. Maybe I need to live in his life so he doesn’t have to suffer anymore.
I let go of him and smiled at him. “B-be happy Ethan even if I’m no longer the reason it’s okay with me as long as I see you happy.” Then I turned away. Knowing that when I came out of this room I was also leaving the life of Ethan Hernandez.
But before I could take a step, he suddenly pulled my arm, which surprised me.
“I wonder where you really apologize, for hurting me or for kissing me? After you do that, will you just turn your back on me? ” He made a serious promise.
“Well, I’m not sorry for what I will do to you,” he added and before I reacted he already kissed me.Content bel0ngs to Nôvel(D)r/a/ma.Org.