Tolerating The Player

“It was mum” he said and my anger came back.

“Get in!” I ordered and he hopped in immediately.

“You can’t see her anymore Joe, stay far away from her” I warned him and he nodded his head.

I started the car with different hateful thoughts in my mind, I had to turn on the radio to distract me from my thoughts before something bad would happen on the road.

“Isabella?” Joe’s little voice squealed my name from the back seat and I looked at his face through the rear mirror. It was clear that he wasn’t happy and he was almost in tears.

“What’s wrong?” I asked like I didn’t know why he was probably sad but I hoped it wasn’t because of Fiona because she won’t have a place in our hearts or lives because she’s dead to me and must be dead to Joe too.

“It’s about mum…”

“Joe I warned you to stay away from her and I meant it when I said that. You can’t mention her name to me anymore!” I yelled at him but almost regretted it. I was being angry and my emotions were taking the wheel in this car.

“But why can’t I just be with her!” He yelled back as he broke out in tears. I hated to see my little brother this way but I know he’s just a kid and too young to understand that Fiona is dead to us and toxic to us too. She probably wants us to come back to her because of some stupid reasons for her own selfish greed.

“All of the other kids in school talk about how nice their mum is but then I thought I didn’t have a mum until she came back so why can’t I be like the other kids too?!” He cried and I let him talk, even though I wasn’t going to consider any of his words.

I decided to continue the drive in silence while Joe kept on crying his eyes out at the back seat. I would probably drop him off at Grace’s house perhaps he would cheer up with Grace and give me time to think.

I pulled by at Grace house and Joe came down from the car with rage as he slammed the door really hard. I was trying my best to stay calm and didn’t want to be the bad person here so I let it slide.

“You’re dropping me off at Mrs Anderson’s house because you thought she would make me feel better as a second mum, you know why you did that? You did that because you’re not my mother and you can’t be my mother” Joe spat before walking away from the car leaving me behind in awe.

I stared at the little boy that was walking away thinking he was possessed by someone else to say those heavy words he had just said because those words held a lot of power for a nine years old boy and they kind of really stung.

I watched how he knocked on their door and Grace opened it for him with a smile on her face. She looked in my direction and waved to greet me but I couldn’t respond because of the shock until she closed the door.

I was feeling devastated and needed time to think and be alone. I couldn’t go back to my house because of my dad so I drove to the place where Zach took me too, his mother’s garden. It was a peaceful and quiet place and maybe that’s exactly what I needed..

I sat on the trimmed grasses as I brought my kneels to my head and wrapped my arms around it as I began to cry my heart out.

Joe was right after all, I wasn’t his mother and can never be his mother. I guess the fact that I brought him up couldn’t clarify the fact that I was just a big sister to him. He was right when he said I dropped him off at Grace’s house because I couldn’t handle him and I thought Grace would be able to because she was older and acted like his mother too.

Maybe he needs to meet his mother, maybe it’s time for them to reconcile and have a family of their own even though I won’t be part of their family. As long as she makes Joe happy then I would be cool with her but If she ever dares to make him cry or sad then she would get a taste of her own medicine from me.

After I was done crying and thinking I went back to the car and drove back to Grace’s house, I owed the little man an apology after all.

“Hey you’re back Isabella, are you okay because you were kinda lost in your thoughts back then?” She asked with concern on her face and I nodded my head with a smile.

“I’m okay” I mouthed to her but she wasn’t buying it.

“Anyway, where’s Joe?” I asked, trying to break the awkward silence between us and escape the type of pitiful look she was giving me.

“He’s right in….” Her sentence trailed when she couldn’t see Joe in the living room.

“He was just right here.. she looked confused but I looked up and saw him running up the stairs.

“Joe!” I called out his name but he didn’t respond to me again as he locked himself up in his room.

“Look I’m sorry for all that I said earlier, I’m not your mother and I can’t be your mother because you already have one” my voice cracked but I coughed to clear my throat.

“I’m willing to let you go back to Fiona” I said and the door creaked open as he peeped through it.

“Really?” He asked and I nodded my head.

“She wants to talk to you too and she said I should give you this card whenever you’re willing to talk to her” he reached for his pocket and brought out a business card. It kind of seemed funny to me that she had been doing quite okay all these times while we suffered and starved.

I was about to reject his offer but I had quite hurt the young boy too much today already. My eyes squinted as I nodded my head in approval and a broad smile flashed on his face.

“We might as well get this over with” I said to him as I collected the card from him and dialed the number.

“Hello Ms. Spring’s assistant speaking” a lady’s voice from the other side answered. “So her new husband’s name is spring” I thought to myself.

“Hello I’m Isabella Brown, put Fiona on the phone” I harshly replied and I could tell that her assistant was surprised with the tone I used.

“Bella!” a familiar voice called my name and as much as I hated to hear it I would have to listen to the bullshit she has to say.

“Let’s get over it, what do you have to say?” I harshly replied and I could hear her sighing.

“Can you come to the address on the card, let’s meet,” she replied and I scoffed. Does she think I’m that dumb.

“If that’s the case then I’m not interested in meeting you, what do you think I am, a fool?”

“I don’t even know you yet you want me to meet you in your office. Heaven knows the shit you would do to me if I was there and besides do you want to show off your new achievements and rub it in my face you freak?!” I yelled and could hear little sobs coming from her. Her fake tears won’t have any impact on me.

“Okay I’m sorry, where would you like to meet me?” She asked and I thought of taking her to a very bad place so she would regret ever wanting to meet me but I really couldn’t think of a worse place to take her to.

“I don’t need to think of a place to meet a psychopath, you choose a safe place and I’ll meet you there” I replied

“Isabella you can’t talk to me that way I’m still your mother” she said and I scoffed before ending the call.

I had totally forgotten that Joe was standing here listening to our conversation the whole time and he now has a worried and sad look on his face.

“Don’t worry I’ll meet her” I reassured him and he nodded his head even though I knew he was scared that I would do or say something bad to her.

My phone beeped some seconds later and an address was texted to the phone. I stared at it for a while and simultaneously stared at Joe’s face. I guess I had no option but to go since I already promised Joe.

“I’ll be right back” I roughed his hair with my hand before leaving the house. I could tell that he was happy I was going to meet her but sad I would ruin things with her.

I followed the address and it finally led me to a store I hadn’t really been seeing in this area. How does she know much about these places?

I entered the store and was welcomed with the familiar scent of stuffed toys I was used to as a kid, they sell different toys in the store but immediately I got in I was led to a teddy bear section.

I remembered the gift my mother got for me on my third birthday was a teddy bear because I couldn’t stop pointing to some kids’ giant teddy bears in the park. That woman was my mother who cared about me and not this one who abandoned me at a very young age.

“Bella” the familiar voice suddenly rang in my ear and I turned to see Fiona standing behind me with an awkward smile on her face.

“Why did you bring me here?” I roared at her but she tried to keep a smile on her face.

“I just thought it would bring back good memories of my daughter and me”Content bel0ngs to Nôvel(D)r/a/ma.Org.

“I’m not your daughter, you might have given birth to me and you might have been my mother but that woman has been dead to me the moment she abandoned me!” I fired at her.