The Soldier Next Door

Life does not always go as you plan. Your best-laid plans are sometimes going to fail. The question is, how do you deal with failure?

Well, life is made up of these defining moments; it is up to you how you let these moments affect you, for they shall shape who you are and what you will become.

And as I stand here, afraid to take that final step forward, I know that the moment I do my life will be defined by the only thing that is going to make me happy for the rest of my life.

So with that final step…

I am standing and staring at the most overwhelming experience I have ever felt in my life. I cannot believe that this horny ass made that? If there would ever be something I did the best in my life, then this baby boy will be it.

There is no words that can describe the emotions that are flowing through my body as I peek very hesitantly into the incubator. A feeling of perfect warmth settles over my skin as a thousand feathers tingle my senses.

Seeing my baby boy is the closets that I will ever come to magic.This content © Nôv/elDr(a)m/a.Org.

It is both terrifying and overwhelming.

I have no idea what to do.

Where do I go from here?

What is the right thing to say?

More importantly… Am I going to be a great dad?

Here is this tiny creature and I am feeling completely dazed by his pure beauty.

We have already ‘known’ him for months, but here he finally is face to face and it is beyond any feeling that I finally get to meet him.

How?

How did Ana and me do that?

How did that little baby come out of her belly?

I was not expecting this. I knew that I would love him, but I know even now more than ever that I fill love him forever.

Ethan Hunter has become a father.

Yes, I would have loved to be there to see him being born, but this is just as good as anything. This is in fact even better, I get to see my son for the very first time.

And it is magic.

So as I cannot take my eyes off him, I lean even closer and softly whisper, “Hi. I am your daddy.”

He is the one who has made me a dad.

The one who will teach me how to be a dad. My life has just changed in so many ways now that he has came into the world. Although I knew it would, the way he has changed my world is only something you can understand when you become a father. That means he will never truly know the love I have for him, or the way it felt the first time we locked eyes.

I cannot wait to hold him in my arms.

My love for him is and forever will be infinite.

But I am scared.

I feel complete lost, as the happy tears come down my face.

All that matters was that he is here, he is beautiful, even more perfect than I could ever have imagined.

Before him, my life was free. I was carefree, my worries seem so small now looking back. My days consisted of Ana and me. I was selfish.

Everything was easy.

I didn’t know what to expect when he would finally came along, I didn’t know how I would feel or how he would change our lives.

But he did.

In this instant.

In this very now.

He has changed my life for the better and life as we knew it will change forever.

Today I became his daddy, I love him more than I could ever love myself or anything else in the world. I would give my own life for him

He is the best thing I did in my life. My biggest accomplishment.

He is the greatest gift I have ever.

How wonderful life is now that he is in our world.

And as I look at Ana for a brief moment, there is nothing but tears in her eyes. With one nod of the head, the Doctor finally leaves us by ourselves.

I pull her deep into my arms, “I love you boo. I am so sorry I was not there.”

“Ssshhh, soldier. I am sorry for being so reckless and putting out child’s life in danger.”

I cup her chin in my hand and let her eyes meet mine, “He is here, that is all that matters now.”

For what seems like eternity, we just stare into each other’s eyes.

She looks down at my slightly parted lips and I know what is about to happen. We both lean into each other in slow motion never breaking eye contact once. My heart skips a beat and my knees get wobbly, even though I am not standing on my feet. I curl my hand around her neck, and tangle the other in her long wavy hair.

Our lips brush softly against each other. Her lips is soft and delicately. They dance against me like butterfly wings. I pull away, hesitating for a moment. She felt new, yet oddly familiar, Her lips seemed moulded to the shape of mine. My hands curled around her so perfectly as if they were made just for her. She tastes like passion, like pure, unrestrained passion and I want more.

Then we begin to close the gap even more than before. What begins as a small peck become more passionate. The rest of the world spins so fast it becomes non-existant. I lean even further into her and my body melts into hers. It is as if I can feel a fire blazing within me, out of control. We are completely and utterly in sync in this very moment.

Everything about her is perfect. The sheer softness of her hair as I run my hands through it. The taste of sweet cotton candy that lingers on her lips. Her breath that warms my cheek. The way she plays with the hair at the back of my head that tickles my neck.

She presses her lips against mine even harder. Lightning passes through me. I feel lost in a different universe and she is slowly taking me away. Her cold hand creeps from my neck down my spine and pulls me closer. Her touch makes my body shiver. Her delicate, innocent kiss makes my heart flutter. Then it races. My body surrenders. I let her kiss me as long as she want. Everytime I let go, I go back and kiss her again softly.

Then she locks her arms around my neck and runs her fingers through my hair. I begin to nuzzle her neck with soft kisses, so soft they felt like whispers. Her lips come closer to mine and our breaths mingle. My heart flutter inside my chest. Then she kisses me.

When she kisses me my brain lights on fire and the warmth spread throughout my entire body. I am addicted to her, I cannot bare being without her and I can barely breathe when she is around. These kisses are my salvation and my torment. I live for them and I would die with the memory of them on my lips. I dedicate my life to being with her from this moment, from this kiss, for I know that if I lose her I would lose myself. She was the half that made me whole.

I never set out to fall in love, to me love was a small fickle thing. Love made a man weak and in my line of business weak is the worst kind of places you can find yourself in. Love was a thing for dreamers, a thing that is chased by people with their head in the clouds and not their feet on the ground.

Love found me when I was not looking. I was not paying attention. It drew me in and kept me captive. It made me feel and experience so many feelings all at once. It took me on a journey that I know is not even close to ending. I know that it won’t be easy and that I am going to get broken sometimes but I know for a fact that it is going to be worth every second of my life.

Every second of the rest of my life I will spend with Ana and my child.

And as I turn back to look at our baby boy, he opens those little brown eyes and looks straight into my soul.

Now my life is complete.

I need to remind myself how close I have come to nearly losing all that is precious in my life. So looking back at the woman that I love.

“Boo, can we never do that again.” I go silent for a brief moment and softly whispers to her, “I cannot live without you. I know that now more than ever. I’m not ever going to let you out of my life again.”