Chapter 182
Chapter 182: Mother
Amelia
I’ve had a lot of happy and a lot of sad moments in my life, but the most intense feelings of happiness and sadness came on the day of my daughter’s birth.Copyright by Nôv/elDrama.Org.
Calvin had been at my side, encouraging me to push. Considering how things are between us right now, he’d been really great about it. And the moment they laid Athena in my arms, I’d cried happy tears. She’s so perfect with her ten little fingers and her ten little toes. She has a button nose and cupid’ s bow pink lips that always seem to be sucking, even in her sleep. She makes the sweetest, softest sounds when she’s sleeping or when she’s nursing but when she’s hungry, watch out. My girl has a strong pair of lungs on her.
The first person I’d wanted to share my happiness with had been my mother, and that’s where the terrible sadness had come from. I realized that my daughter will never know what incredible grandparents she had. I can easily picture my father carrying her around everywhere, just like he did with Sophie and probably like he did with me. The sharp sting of grief had hit me quickly and unexpectedly and I’d started to cry.
Calvin is a good man in a lot of ways, but understanding female emotions isn’t one of them. They make him uncomfortable and so, rather than wrapping his arms around me and hugging me Nike someone such as Alpha Hunter probably would have, he’d patted my arm and told me it would be okay and that it was probably all the hormones leaving my body. It had taken everything in me to not punch him in the face.
I wasn’t surprised when he’d left the next day to go back to his pack. We’d talked about him wanting to claim the pack next door. I guess he wants to try and move the pack or maybe try to flip packs with someone else so that we can combine our packs. The problem is, I’m learning very quickly that I like being an Alpha and I’m damn good at it. I wouldn’t say this to Calvin, because I’m not mean and I know it would hurt his feelings, but I’m a better Alpha than he is. So, even if he claims Alaric’s old pack, I’m not combining mine with his.
My new favorite time of day is early in the morning, before everyone else is awake, when I sit in my rocking chair and nurse Athena. It doesn’t matter how tired I am, or how many things have coming for the day, that time is ours, just her and me. know she’s a baby, but she’s an Alpha baby, and when she looks at me, it’s like she knows that I’m her mother, and that I will never let anything happen to her.
When Calvin left, I think the pack thought that things were going to relax a bit. They were wrong. Alaric’s pack is up for grabs, and I have several warriors who want to claim it, my Gamma included. I’m not thrilled about him competing, but I also know he didn’t do as well as he thought he would in the competition for the first pack. He didn’t even make it to the final twelve. I know he’s going to cause problems for me in the future, but those are problems for another day. First, I needed to deliver Athena and get my strength back, and now, I need to get my warriors prepared for the competition.
I didn’t think Sophie would mind me not greeting her at the front door, and thankfully, I was right. Unfortunately, since I’m an Alpha and a young mother, I have to balance nursing my daughter with everything else that I need to get done. It didn’t take me more than half a day to realize that nursing Athena would have to be done while I was doing other things or things wouldn’t get done and my status as an Alpha would come into question, especially with Caleb looking for any reason to overthrow me. I wasn’t sure how I felt about him and Calvin going to the competition together. Is Calvin secretly hoping to overthrow me so I have to return to being his Luna? I’m still not sure about that, so I’m biding my time and I’m watching Caleb carefully.
And that means, I nurse my daughter during warrior training. Because she’s on a schedule, it’s become a routine every morning that I carry her around while Beta Matthew runs training. Beta Caroline will usually hold Athena until she’s ready to nurse and then take her again when she’s done, but today, Sophie is here. I’m not sure what caused her to snarl so viciously before, but Hunter seemed to understand what was wrong and what his mate needed to feel better. Hunter seems to understand a lot more than Calvin does, or maybe he’s just more confident in himself than Calvin is. Calvin and I didn’t have an easy start and him not having any sisters or really understanding women at all was a huge barrier for us to overcome. And while I realize that he does truly care about me, it’s not the kind of love that my parents had, or that Sophie has with Hunter. I’m happy for my sister, but every time I see her and her mate together, it makes my heart ache. I’m not sure that Calvin and I would have had that even if he hadn’t claimed me publicly. It’s just not who he is, which makes me wonder why the Moon Goddess mated me to him, Have I changed that much, or has he not changed at all?
Matthew calls an end to warrior training, and I follow my warriors back to the patio where Sophie and Hunter are sitting with Athena. Beside them is a woman I don’t recognize, but I can see that her upper body isn’t shaped properly. This must be Jocelyn.
“Hello, I’m Alpha Amelia. You must be Jocelyn. Welcome to my pack,” I greet her.
“Alpha Amelia. It’s a pleasure. I wasn’t sure what to expect from the first ever female Alpha, but I have to admit, you’re quite impressive,” Jocelyn says.
“Thank you,” I say.
“You’ve should have seen her when we first walked out. She was nursing Athena while she was directing her warriors,” Sophie says, looking at Hunter who begins purring at her. Is that what got her riled up? Me nursing Athena publicly? She’ll have to get over it while she’s here. I have a pack to run.
“Well, I’m no Legend, like my sister,” I say, teasing her.
“No, I call you the Warrior Alpha,” Sophie says smiling up at me. Hunter kisses the side of her head as if he’s praising her. Maybe it was jealousy before. I know from recent experience that every woman around you feels like a threat to your mate. I thought it was just me because things between me and Calvin aren’t very settled at the moment, but maybe it was being pregnant. I’ll have to see when he returns.
“Warrior Alpha. I can see it,” Jocelyn says to me.
“Well, I am a warrior, or I will be once I get back into shape, and I am an Alpha, so I guess it fits.”
Jocelyn tilts her head at me. “You’re as humble as Sophie, aren’t you? Must be à family trait to have strong women who don’t realize the significant impact that they are having on others around them.”
“What impact is that?” I ask her, as I go check on my daughter. She’s sleeping happily in Sophie’s arms.
When she doesn’t answer immediately, I turn and see Jocelyn smiling at me. “Blazing the trail for the rest of us to follow. You’ re the first female Alpha in history. You don’t see the significance in that?” she asks, challenging me.
“Honestly? I don’t time have time to think about it. Between my parents’ deaths, taking over the pack, waging war and getting revenge for my parents’ deaths, having a baby, and getting ready for the pack competitions, I haven’t had a lot of time. But now that you mention it…I guess it is sig
“Amelia has already paved the way for other women to take ranked positions in the packs,” Hunter says, making me snort a laugh.
“Oh please, you’d have made Penny your Gamma with or without me being an Alpha.”
“Yes, but you did it first,” Hunter says smiling at me. “As Nikki would say, that makes you the trendsetter.”
“I don’t think I can hold her and stand up, Hunter,” Sophie says.
“You must be close to your delivery, Soapy,” I say. I’m pretty sure that her stomach is larger than mine was. Probably because she’s having a boy.
I move to take Athena from her, but Hunter beats me to it. He carefully snuggles my daughter against his chest, then reaches out to help Sophie up. I can hear Shaw purring softly, keeping Athena settled. Even Hamil, Calvin’s wolf, hadn’t thought to purr at his daughter.
I’m once again struck by the differences between Hunter and Calvin. Calvin couldn’t have looked more uncomfortable holding his own daughter, whereas Hunter looks like he’s been holding babies for years. Who knows, maybe he has. He’s a different kind of Alpha than Calvin is.
“Are you settled in, Jocelyn? Soapy knows her way around the packhouse, but if you need anything at all, you can ask me, or this is my Beta, Matthew,” I say as he walks up to greet the group.
“Why do you call her Soapy?” she asks while Matthew tells Sophie she can’t hog Athena while she’s here. I smile, looking at my sister while she tells Matthew that his mate is here all the time and she’s only here for a couple of days, so she gets as much time as she wants with my daughter.
“It’s the name I called her when I was young. I couldn’t say the ‘f’ in her name, so it came out as soapy. Then, our father started calling her Soapy and it stuck. Now that he’s gone, I’ve started using that name again.”
“You’re as kind and empathetic as Sophie is too, I see,” Jocelyn says.
“What do you mean?” I ask her as we walk inside.
“She must like the name and since your father is gone, you still give her that connection to your father.”
“I hadn’t really thought of it that way,” I say.
“No, you probably didn’t,” she says cryptically.
“Are you planning to see Dr. Caspian while you’re here?” I ask, changing the subject.
“Yes. My legs are healed but now I want to talk to him about starting surgery on my upper body. I want to get back to being whole and maybe, follow the blazing trail that the Warrior Alpha is making and fight for my own pack,” she says.
“It would be nice to not be the only female Alpha. While the other Alphas are very supportive of me, it’s like being the only girl in a good ol’ boys club. It’s hard not to feel like the odd man, or in this case woman, out.”
“And yet, I’ve heard nothing but great things about you, Alpha Amelia. You’re doing a great job and from an outsider walking in, your pack feels settled. If they didn’t, I’d worry for you, but they seem to be rallying behind you as their leader,” she says.
I look around, taking a moment to feel what Jocelyn is feeling in my pack. Perhaps I don’t do that enough. Perhaps I don’t step back and just let myself recognize what I’ve done or that I’m doing a good job. I know I work hard for my pack, but I’m so busy doing, that I don’t take the time to see the impact of what I’ ve done.
“Thank you, Jocelyn. I needed this level of perspective. How Hong are you here for?” I ask her.
“That depends. I need to ask Dr. Caspian when he can do my surgery.”
I stop, looking at her thoughtfully. “Maybe he can do the surgery here. I can keep you on the Alpha floor with me, so you won’t be bothered by the pack, although you will have a crying baby to contend with in the middle of the night. But my understanding is that you are healing quickly and well. Dr. Caspian doesn’t have to return to Sophie’s pack for another couple of weeks, and honestly, I can already tell that you and I are going to get along – well.”
She smiles at me. “I was thinking the exact same thing, Alpha. And let me talk to Dr. Caspian. If he can do the surgery here, I’d love to stay and see how you’re running this pack. Maybe I’ll get some ideas of how to run my pack, if and when I’m able to secure my own.”
“Good. Let’s go talk to Dr. Caspian,” I say, feeling lighter than I have in a long time.