The Mafia’s Wanted Desires

ASHLEY

I moaned in pain, trying to pry my itchy eyes open. My head felt so heavy and fuzzy. I could barely feel it because it felt like it had already split apart. My throat was so dry and it was beginning to hurt. My lashes fluttered rapidly and I pushed myself off the bed, groaning softly. The damned monitor was still beeping and I snorted, looking to my right to see him in the same position he has always been.

I brought my hand to his cheek, swiping my thumb against it slowly while stroking his hair. A small smile made its way to my lips and I leaned in, pressing a lingering kiss on his forehead. The jingling of the keys by the door caught my attention and I furrowed my brows, my hands growing lax in his hair. The door clicked and was pushed open, revealing the familiar dark hair. A frown made its way to my face, my eyes narrowing in slits.

“You all keep pissing me off!” I snapped, my voice sounding so hoarse like I hadn’t used it in days.

“Well, hello to you too, Mrs Gray. I think you keep forgetting the fact that he is my brother before he became your husband, so you are going to hold your tongue and you WILL NOT address me in that manner.” Maria chided me, her crusty green eyes narrowed at my frame, holding a hint of challenge in them.

Her tone made it clear to me that she was in no mood for the act I had been putting up throughout the whole week, lacking the signature warmth it always held. I held her gaze for a while before looking away, folding my arms across my chest. My shoulders soon slumped in defeat, a tired sigh leaving my lips.

I brushed my hair off my face, throwing it in a quick messy bun while avoiding her eyes. I could only hope that she would get the hint and get out of my face.

“Jesus Christ, Ash, look at you!” She cried, her loud voice hammering against my temples.

“Have you had a bath? You look sick!” She complained, her flip-flops hitting the floor so loudly as she advanced towards me. She took her seat, reaching for my hands but I reeled backwards, sending her a cursory glance. She looked awful with her black hair that was secured in a messy ponytail, strands of her hair sticking in various directions. Her eyes looked tired, decorated with large bags underneath them and I knew without a doubt that the large brown shirt she was wearing belonged to Andrew.

They have been staying here since the whole thing went down. The memory of Maria breaking down after I broke the news to her was so fresh in my mind. I didn’t know what would have happened if Andrew wasn’t there to keep her from spiraling. I was glad she had a man like him by her side. He was her soulmate.

And yeah, mine was lying on a sick bed.

“Ashley, I understand your pain but you can’t keep doing this to yourself. You are just going to get sick. You can’t keep hurting yourself this way. I know you miss him and we all do but please…” Her voice trailed off with a crack and I released a shaky breath.

“Just stop,” She pleaded in a whisper.

I didn’t respond to her because I was too exhausted to talk.

“Your friends are here to see you. They are downstairs. I told them to wait while I inform you. I know you don’t want anyone around this room.” She announced, sounding so cautious.

I didn’t want them to see me like this.

So vulnerable…

So, I shook my head, refusing to see them.

“Please,” She implored me.

“Just to breathe in air that’s not stuffed with drugs, to stretch your legs. You know you want to see them if you are being honest with yourself.” She coaxed, reaching for my hand and giving it a light squeeze. I stared into space, pondering for a while before I finally nodded in agreement.

I spared a glance in his direction, then reluctantly got off the bed and slid my feet into my flip-flops.

“There’s no way in hell I am allowing you to wear this downstairs!” Maria exclaimed. I opened my mouth to protest against what she said but she was quicker.

“Ma__”

“Wait right here!” She ordered me and dashed into the closet, coming back out with a speed of light I couldn’t bring myself to decipher. She stretched the clothes to me and I rolled my eyes, getting out of my shirt and sweatpants that I had been wearing for days now. I shrugged on the white tank top and Jean shorts, strolling out of the room before she could point out the fact that my hair was a bed nest.

I descended the staircase, my eyes taking in the surroundings. I hadn’t stepped out of my room in days and as much as I hated to admit it, Maria was right when she insisted I needed to get out of my room and breathe in an air that was different from the one in the room. The living room was quiet, void of the tons of maids that were always crawling around every corner.

My eyes landed on Dawn and Ivana’s frame. I couldn’t hide how surprised I was when I saw Vincent and a low squeal exited my lips. I skipped off the stairs, running into his waiting arms and he picked me up, spinning me around. I couldn’t help it. I burst into tears in his arms, my shoulders quaking with loud sobs.

Vincent completed our circle and was the closest thing I had to a brother. I can’t even remember the last time I saw him. It was always work or another thing that kept him away from sight, although he always got the chance to link up with his fiancee when work wasn’t so crazy.

“Hey, Ash.” He chuckled, his deep voice echoing in my ears. He dropped me back on my feet and I looked up to face the muscular male. Vince has always been all shades of stop-and-stare. It wasn’t any different now. His tousled brown hair looked a little messy, augmenting his warm baby-blue eyes that twinkled with softness.

“God! Vince! How have you been? It’s been so long! How are you even here? Aren’t you supposed to be in Canada?” I bombarded him with questions that made him overly amused, earning me soft chuckles from the ladies in the room.

“Movies can wait but being there for my friend can’t. I am so sorry I missed your wedding. I heard what happened and I am really sorry.”

“Come here,” He said softly and I stepped into his arms, allowing him to hold me and tears began welling up in my eyes.

“Thank you,” I mumbled, sniffing. He let me out of his grip after a while and kissed my hair, sporting a reassuring smile on his face. My eyes flitted to Ivana and Dawn, and then it hit me how much I have missed them and how much of a bitch I have been to them for the past few weeks, refusing to see them. I walked into their waiting arms and they enveloped me in a warm hug.

“I am so sorry,” I sobbed.

“You shouldn’t apologize for what you have no control over, Ashley.” Ivana crooned, patting my back.

“You were hurting,” Dawn added.

I was grateful for how these girls understood me, even more than I understood myself most times.

“Well, aren’t you leaving one person out of the group hug?” The soft, teasing voice piqued my interest, my ears perking up instinctively. I stepped out of their embrace and looked over my shoulder, beholding the sight of my dad walking out of the kitchen with my mom trailing behind him.

My mouth went wide in a circular shape, my eyes nearly bulging out of their sockets. A light gasp escaped my lips, accompanied by a tiny sob. My feet moved on their accord and I raced towards him, allowing him to engulf me in one of his numerous bear hugs that I missed so much.

“Daddy!”

“Hey, Princess.”

“I am so sorry it took us a while to come. Your friends informed us about it yesterday.” He apologized, his voice filled with remorse that made my chest constrict in pain. I had been so mad at Mom that I took it out on him also and refused to go see them. I was the one who ought to feel guilty, not him.

“It’s alright. You are here now and that’s all that matters.” I gave him a teary smile, tilting my head backwards to assess him. He grinned at me and pressed a soft kiss to my forehead, which had me grinning from ear to ear.

“Hey, honey.”

My mom called out to me and it hit me how much I have missed hearing her speak to me. My heart leaped up in excitement and my eyes drifted to her frame, holding her teary gaze. Given how we ended our conversation the last time, I didn’t think she would show up. My mom could be difficult but I loved her. A little too much even.Contentt bel0ngs to N0ve/lDrâ/ma.O(r)g!

“Mom,” I whispered and she dropped the bowl in her hands on the nearest table, ambling forward and she drew me in for a motherly hug. I basked in the comfort of her arms, bawling my eyes out like a baby and she rubbed my back soothingly, whispering words of encouragement to me.

“God, have you been eating? You look so lean. Come, come, have your seat. I made you soup,” She voiced out, leading me to one of the couches in the room.

“And don’t say you are not hungry because you are!” She chipped in, handing me the hot bowl of soup. My tummy rumbled loudly at the sight of the rich broth, eliciting loud snorts and giggles from everyone in the room. I hadn’t realized how hungry I was until I had the broth in my hands. I wasted no time in digging in, munching on the chunks of beef in it. It was hot, spicy, and delicious.

After consuming the hot broth, Dad was so quick to offer his comfort and I snuggled up against him, dropping my head on his chest and allowing his essence to cocoon me. I felt like a child in his arms as he stroked my hair, lulling me to sleep.

“Dad?” I called him.

“Yes, Princess?”

“Thank you,” I mumbled, a soft yawn escaping my lips.

“Hush, you don’t need to thank me, now go to sleep.” He said softly, pressing a soft kiss to my hair. I slowly drifted into sleep, drowning in the soft chatters of my family that surrounded me. They made me realize I didn’t have to do this alone. All I had to do was lean on them and allow them to weather through the storm with me.