The Mafia’s Wanted Desires

ASHLEY

Empty.

Yeah, that was the word. The gaping hole that had taken residence in my mind, a hole which I knew that no matter what I tried to dabble in, it wasn’t leaving any moment now. I felt hollow, dead inside and it was as though I was fading into nothingness because if anyone had told me months ago, that my life was going to take a drastic turn, I would look the mother-fucker in the eye and spit in their face, telling him or her to go rot in hell.

I had my life all planned out. I met a guy I loved. A guy who manipulated me and messed with my mind into thinking what he wanted me to think. Heck, he was so toxic and I couldn’t even bring myself to see it. They tried to warn me about him but I was too blinded by what I felt for him, so I allowed him to break me. I was even delusional enough to think that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.

And then that one night, he came into the picture, shattering my resolve and turning my life into a more complicated mess at the snap of his fingers because he thinks he can! What could be sicker and more twisted than that?

With the way my life was one huge mess, it saddens me to wake up every day, knowing full well that there was nothing I could do about it. That I had no control over my life. It wasn’t mine to control anymore. It belonged to him. The thought of marching into the bathroom and drowning myself in the bathtub seemed like the easiest way to go, but I tried it once and it didn’t end well for me. Instead, I almost lost my friends. Besides, I couldn’t bring myself to be that selfish.

The first thing I did when I opened my eyes was drop my hands beside me, hoping I would feel him beside me, but the cold space that met with my hands crushed my heart and had it settling into the pit of my stomach. I gritted my teeth and sat up on the bed, propping my back against the pillow. My eyes strayed to the space beside me and I glared at it, rage seeping into me as a scoff exited my lips. He didn’t even have the decency to wake up beside me. He just had to get up early and run, just like the fucking coward he was.

Why are you mad?

I blocked the voice out of my head, deciding not to pay attention to it because it doesn’t matter. It never did. I brushed my hair away from my face and got out of bed, sliding my feet into the bunny slides that were by the bedside. I picked up my phone and got up from the bed, sauntering into the bathroom to get ready for the day. Since I was going to be all by myself in this big house, I might as well make use of my day to the fullest.

I walked over to the huge sink and opened the faucet, running my hands through the clear water that gushed out from the tap. It was soothing and had me sighing softly. I retracted my hands and reached for one of the toothbrushes that were tucked in the inbuilt container attached to the wall. I got to it and brushed my teeth, rinsing the brush and returning it to the container.

I got out of my PJs and got under the shower, taking a quick bath. I was out in no time with my towel wrapped around my frame. I crouched to the floor and picked up my clothes that were lying on the floor. He was a neat freak, judging by how spotless the bathroom was and I was grateful for that because it was one thing to be dealing with a Mafia boss but a dirty one. Hell no. I will pass.ConTEent bel0ngs to Nôv(e)lD/rama(.)Org .

I dumped my clothes in the hamper and ambled into the vast closet. It was appalling to think that he was the only one using such a big space, but then, it happened and he had to share it with me. Even at that, the size of this closet was ridiculous. I looked to my side of the closet and sighed, remembering how he stubbornly insisted that I wasn’t going back to my old apartment to get my clothes. To add salt to injury, he single-handedly went shopping for clothes for me and he was thorough with it.

Thinking about it made my cheeks turn crimson because he got me every single thing there was, including my undies. I was very disturbed as to how he knew the right sizes. He couldn’t possibly get it right after that one night, right? That guy was a demon. A fucking demon. I mean, he has only ever seen me once.

Yeah, extensively.

“Shut up,” I muttered under my breath, shunning that tiny voice. I took off my towel and plodded it to the chest of drawers that housed my undies. I took out black lace panties and slid them on, discarding the thoughts of wearing a bra. I was indoors and the last thing I wanted was an inconvenience. I picked out a shirt and paused, dropping it back on the rack before moving over to his side of the closet.

I browsed through the tons of shirts that were neatly hanged on the rack. There were many shirts and trying to keep up with the number made my eyes spin. My eyes strayed to a red shirt that stood out amidst the array of shirts, and then I smiled, taking it out. The familiar toe-curling scent that belonged to me slapped me in the nostrils and I shut my eyes, drawing comfort from the dizzying smell.

I loved it when my man was particular about the way he smelled. It was enough to drive me crazy.

Your man?

I tuned it out again.

I wasn’t going to entertain its foolishness.

I unbuttoned the shirt and shrugged it on. I sucked in a breath and allowed the large shirt to cocoon me. It was so comfortable that it almost made me cry at how good it felt to be wearing his shirt. It was comforting and made me feel at ease.

Maybe, just maybe. I might have just found my new obsession.

His shirts.

I could see myself getting used to this. I tread even further, pushing open the drawers beneath the compartment that housed his shirts. The first one contained his ties, but I haven’t seen one on him since I have known him. Why keep ties when he doesn’t use them? Arden surely was full of surprises. I shut the drawer close and moved on to the next one. The sight of his neatly folded briefs had me all red in the face and I giggled. I slammed the drawer shut and puffed out some air through my mouth.

I didn’t even know why I was snooping around his things. But then, he wasn’t around and I could do whatever it was that I wanted with his things. I was so sure that he would do the same if roles were reversed. I left the drawers and moved on to the one beside it. This one was much larger. I pried it open and almost took a step back at the light that filtered from his expensive accessories that were thoroughly diamonds.

Geez, how obsessed was he with diamonds?

I shut the drawer and my eyes darted to the rings on my finger. I twirled my wedding band, toying with it, and then I exhaled before my eyes drifted to the compartment that housed his various cologne and sprays. The midnight black bottle of perfume lured me in and I found myself hopelessly attracted to how beautiful it looked. I picked it up and popped it open, spraying a little on my wrists and neck. I was blown away by the overly familiar smell of citrus and berries that oozed out of the bottle. I shut it close and knew I had to get out of there before I decided to spend the rest of my day snooping through his things.

And with that, I spun on my heels and headed out of the closet. I strutted to the bed and picked up my phone, sliding my legs into my bunny slides and sauntering out of the room.