CHAPTER 50
Xavier’s POV
With Elaine’s help, she was revived ten minutes later. As soon as Elaine spotted the red blood on her dress, she told me it was her period and nothing serious so there was no need to take her to the hospital.
But I was still worried.
The moment her eyes slid open, relief washed through me.
“Are you ok?” I ask her as she nods slowly, closing her eyes and opening them back immediately.
She continues to stare at me before shifting her attention to our enjoined hands. I was holding her just to be sure she was still breathing. I was literally counting the minutes with the hope that if she doesn’t wake up after thirty minutes, then we will go to the hospital.
What sort of menstrual symptom is that?
Quickly, I let go of her hand and shoot to my feet in embarrassment.
Anytime something happens to her, I am always not at ease, probably because I feel responsible for her and I know the guilt will kill me if something happens to her in my care when she isn’t even the person I thought her to be.
Isn’t it high time I let her go? How long will I have to continue feeling this uneasiness and guilt?
If I let her go, will it stop?
The major reason why I didn’t want to let go was because I wanted to get my hands on Andre but now, something else is involved.
Even if I want to let go, my conscience won’t let me. I killed Vicenzo just to protect once she is out of my grip but now his men are after her life.
This is definitely not the right time to think of letting go. If I want to get rid of how I feel, then I need to get to Sebastian and the others and get rid of them so she can have a good life afterwards.
Aside from that, she is going nowhere.
And for Andre, it’s just a matter of time before I catch up with her. I know she is here in Italy just like how Andrew and Mathew reported to me. They didn’t come back to New York because they had been on her trail and just this night, she was almost caught and that man saved her yet again.
I can’t wait to find out who that is. When I do, I won’t spare him either.
I have told Andrew and Mathew to lay low for now. Get me pictures of that man and every single detail about him. Once we get him, I’m sure we will get Andre too.
The fact that there is a man involved now after twelve months is extremely shocking. Her parents told me she never had a boyfriend and I believed them but now I know I can’t trust either of them.
Both Mr Moore and Mrs Moore.
Just then, an idea hits me.
Mrs Moore was in Italy to see Andre. She mistook Jasmine for Andre and realized that the moment I appeared.
If I can keep her hostage, perhaps Andre will come to me on her own accord.
On second thought, I doubt it. Andre doesn’t care about anyone but herself. The plan might not even work.
“Xavier”, Jasmine calls to me, making me swirl around quickly. She points to the cigarette on the stand beside the bed. “Did you smoke already?”
I did.
Just to whilst away time. I was impatient waiting for her to wake up and I had taken two cigars already.
I don’t know how to answer her. Whether to say yes with guilt or to say no with a hard face so I just remain silent.
“Are you still mad at me?” she asks me again, changing the topic.
I sigh and walk back to the chair I was sitting in before she woke up.
“No, I’m not”, I reply hastily. I should be the one asking her that but my pride won’t allow me.
She nods and looks down. Her eyes widen, then she turns to me. “Di.. did you change my clothes?”
Elaine had her cleaned up and changed her dress while she was unconscious.
“The head maid did”, I tell her, hoping she will feel better knowing it was a woman who did and not me.
“It’s my period. I don’t have a tampon. I need to get changed”, she tries to sit up but I am quick to hold her back.
“I know”, I say to her. “Elaine had you changed already,” To make her feel better, I add. “I waited outside while she did that so you are good.”
With a puff of air, she nods and lies back on the bed.
“I’m sorry for troubling you. My cramps have always been this bad”, a small chuckle leaves her mouth, making me gaze at her in wonder.
She is an enigma.
One minute, she is shy, timid and scared and the other minute, she is bold, confident and courageous.
One minute, she is angry and sad and the next minute, her face is lit up with a smile.
“My Aunt used to say everything would go away once I start having kids but I doubt that.”
At the mention of kids, my gaze pierces her as I wondered aloud. “Why do you doubt that? You don’t want kids?”
She shrugs. “Sometimes, I think I do but other times, I feel like it is impossible.”
“Why?” my curiosity is getting ahead of me.
Instead of replying, she laughs shortly and remains silent. “The reply to that is actually funny. It makes me embarrassed.”
“Tell me”, I am intrigued and really interested in this conversation strangely. I want to know why she doesn’t want kids or why she thinks she can’t have them. I also want to know what makes her embarrassed.
She watches me for a moment and says. “I would have requested of you not to laugh after telling you this but I know you barely laugh so I am safe.”
I almost smile at that but I am quick to control myself.
“I wanted kids all along since I was an only child but the moment I became old enough to have a boyfriend, the kind of men showing interest in me made me lose interest in having kids. I guess it’s because they aren’t men worthy of having a kid with”, she comments, playing with her fingers.
It doesn’t sound funny like I thought it would. Before I can ask her why, she sits up carefully, laying her head on the headboard.
“Those men were either gangsters or thugs or criminals”, she states, laughing out again and shaking her head.
At the mention of gangsters, my heart skips a beat.
I guess she is categorizing me as one since Vicenzo as a Mafia also falls in that category. She sees Vicenzo and I in the same light but we are different.
Silence falls.
My curiosity has been fed and I am totally speechless now.
“Why do you smoke?” she questions out of the blue. When she changed the topic earlier, I thought we had gone past that but now she is back to it. “Smoking is very bad for your health, Xavier. You barely sleep, and now you smoke. You should stop it, sleep and eat more.”
She sounds like a mother.
No. A nagging wife.
It reminds me of how I shouted at her harshly the other day when she brought up the topic of my smoking but now, I don’t see the need to do the same.
Perhaps, it is because she is sick. Or because of how softly she is speaking. It makes it not sound like a nag but a friendly advice.
Can I quit smoking?
I am not addicted to it but it keeps me sane.
“Will you?” the touch of her hand on mine jerks me back to life. The way she is staring at me deeply with those beautiful brown eyes of hers has me nodding my head.
“I will”, I say at last, hoping I can keep to the promise.
With a satisfied smile on her face, she leans backwards, making me feel the absence of her touch on my hand.
Silence ensues.
I am about to stand up and leave to attend to some business since she is fine now when she turns to me again, but this time with a look of guilt on her expression.
Smiling sadly, she mutters with regret. “I’m sorry about earlier, Xavier. I’m sorry for calling you a selfish and narcissistic fellow. I didn’t mean to say that, I was just too hurt and shaken by everything happening but I want to believe that everything is happening for a reason. I’m sure you will find the truth soon and I know you would never hurt me knowing full well that I am not her. All I need to do now is provide a proof and that is bringing Andre to you. I’m sorry once again.”
A stab of guilt hits my ribcage.
I know.
I know she isn’t Andre but she is telling me to let her go as soon as I know.
Even though I want to ask her how she intends to bring Andre to me, I can’t bring myself to ask her.
I turn my face away from her, afraid that I will give myself away. Afraid that she would see the truth in my expression and she would see how embarrassed I am.
“You don’t need to feel bad. Let’s just find her first and then everything will be settled. I will be patient till then.”Exclusive content © by Nô(v)el/Dr/ama.Org.
I nod vigorously without looking at her.
I can feel her eyes on me and I know if I continue to sit here in silence, I am bound to answer more of her questions. She is quite inquisitive. She always seems to have one question or the other even when she knows I won’t be too pleased to have them answered.
Forcing myself up, I grab the cigarette box to get rid of it and also ask Elaine to come to stay with her while I work in my office till dawn just to be sure she is going to be fine.
I want to know if there is no need to take her to the hospital again by morning.
If I wasn’t busy, I wouldn’t mind staying up with her. But I guess the main reason for wanting to leave is because I want to avoid her questions and I want to escape more guilt feelings.
With a tone of disappointment and her mouth slightly parted, she asks. “Are you leaving?”
Her parted lips remind me of how soft they tasted when I kissed her this evening.
I don’t reply. I just nod slowly before turning around and saying. “I will send Elaine to come to you now. Have a good sleep.”
“Xavier”, she calls to me as I get to the door. I think she wants to tell me not to bother the head maid again or to tell me more about how she feels about finding Andre.
When she is saying anything, I whirl around to meet her intense gaze and a confused look on her face.
“Earlier…”, she trails off, making me raise a brow.
Just when I think she isn’t going to say the word again, she blurts out hurriedly. “Why did you kiss me?”
At the unexpected question, my heart skips a beat as I feel a jolt of adrenaline rush.