Heartbroken
Larissa’s POV
I furiously swiped the tears out of my eyes as I hurried down the hall. My chest was tight and my heart was shattering into a million pieces. How could he do this to me? How could he betray me like this? Betrayal. It sounded so foreign when it was in relation to Kaden. It was not something I could associate him with. But after what I’d just seen, I realised it wasn’t so far-fetched after all.
I ran. I ran like I could escape my reality if I got far enough. I wanted to stop. I wanted to scream. I wanted to fall to my knees and tear at my hair until I didn’t feel this much pain anymore. But I couldn’t. The image of Kaden and Amaya pressed together in a kiss continued to flash through my head no matter how many times I tried to block it out.
Why would he do this to me? In a million years I would never have believed Kaden would willingly hurt me. It still felt like a dream. As I ran aimlessly, I instinctively pinched my own arm. Hard. I needed it to be a mistake. Some sort of dream. Anything else at all that explained what I’d just seen. It couldn’t be real. My eyes must’ve been playing tricks on me. That was the only plausible explanation.
But the pain that shot up my arm at the pinch said the exact opposite.
I did it again just to be sure, and there it was again, the pain. Tears spilled out of my eyes again as I shook my head in desperation.
How could he do this to me? The question continued to resound in my head. The more I tried to make sense of it, the weaker I became. I didn’t understand it. What was it exactly? Was it all the time they were spending together? Did being in close proximity with her stir up old feelings? After all she was someone he used to love.
That thought was like a stab to my heart. I couldn’t bear it, I couldn’t take it anymore. Meeting Kaden had made life seem worth living, but now even that had been snatched away from me. A sharp pain shot through me. Things just never worked out for me. Maybe I just was not destined for happiness.
The tears continued to stream down my face as I ran. I immediately regretted ever trying to find Kaden in the first place. I should have just stayed in my room. I should have just alleviated my worries on my own and left him alone till later. But I didn’t. I had sought him out in a bid to speak to him on matters I was worried Amaya’s presence would bring up. I had never dreamed for one second that my greatest fears were actually a reality.
I didn’t know what to believe anymore. One thing for certain was that I knew exactly what I saw. They were kissing. Kaden was kissing someone else. Kaden had kissed another woman. Kaden had kissed his ex wife.
I jerked backwards, my hands against the wall as a broken sob escaped my throat. I told myself I would not cry anymore because of the entire Amaya situation, but I couldn’t help it. I’d known that she’d been a problem from the first time she showed up, but how could I have known it would create problems between Kaden and I?
“Larissa!”
I suddenly heard a voice call out. Kaden. Immediately, I shut my eyes. He was following me, running after me, but why? What could he possibly say? What could he say that would justify him kissing his ex-wife? I wiped the tears off my face and took off running again. I couldn’t face him, I didn’t want to. Seeing him now would make me explode, and I did not want a situation where I would say things I would later regret. I just wanted to be left alone.
I was almost at the courtyard when I felt a hand pull at my arm. “What?!” I screamed, not bothering to see who it was.
“Larissa? Why are you crying? Is everything okay?”
I snatched my arm away. “Just leave me the hell alone, Gwen! Go back to your duties and just leave me the fuck alone!”
I took off again before she could respond. As I ran, fresh tears formed in my eyes. I was being an asshole to my friend, twice already today. I stifled the sob that threatened to escape me. What was wrong with me? I had always believed I was a good person, but what if I had just been fooling myself the whole time? What if I had been delusional all this while? Maybe I really was a bad person. Maybe there was something wrong with me.
That’s why Kaden doesn’t want me anymore.
The tears fell in rivulets. I did not bother wiping them off this time. What was the point? I was just tired. I was so tired. I don’t know how long I stood there just staring into space, but a while later I heard the ruffle of footsteps behind me. Immediately, I turned.
At the sight of Kaden, all the self loathing in my chest was replaced by hot, red rage. “Get away from me,” I warned, my voice trembling.
Kaden paused in his steps, bringing his hand forward and shaking his head. “Issa, please, I know your state of mind is a little messed up right now.. ”
“My state of mind is fine!” I yelled. “I’m fine, okay?! Stop trying to make this about me. I know what I saw.”
Kaden shook his head. “I know what it looked like, but if you’d just let me explain, you’d understand. She threw herself at me, Issa. You saw me push her away. I would never, ever hurt you.”
I shut my eyes tight. “Stop lying to me!” My chest was throbbing. “You kissed her. I saw it, and I’m certain of it. Just admit it instead of hurting me more by lying.”
He moved closer to me and held my hand. “Issa, I swear to you, it’s not what it looked like. She kissed me. She came on to me, trying to get into my head and remind me of old times. Obviously it didn’t work. But then she kissed me. It was sudden and unexpected, and I pushed her away immediately. I need you to believe me. I need you to say you believe me, Larissa.”
I stared into his eyes, unable to read him. He sounded genuine enough, but something in the back of my mind could not help but fuel with rage. Why did everyone keep lying to me, trying to deceive me? I wiped the tears off my cheeks and stared at him. “Do you still love her?”
I watched the pleading look in Kaden’s eyes slowly melt away. His jaw clenched. “What?” His voice was low.
“Do you still have feelings for her? Is that why you made almost zero effort to stop her from coming to visit Declan? Is that why you let her kiss you? Is that it–”
“Why would you ask me that? You know how I feel about Amaya. You know how much I detest her.”
“Do I?!” I could not hold back the anger anymore. “I don’t know what the hell to believe anymore, Kaden. Everything has been falling apart from the moment she stepped into that wedding hall, and you don’t seem to be doing much about it!”
Kaden immediately flared up. “I don’t seem to be doing much about it? What do you think I’ve been trying to do for the past few days? Did you ever think for one second how all of this has been affecting me? She abandoned me and her son, cheated on me with my Beta, disappeared without a trace, and now I’m being shoved in the same room as her and forced to be cordial so I can get her to sign the divorce papers. For you, all of this is for you. Because I fucking love you, Larissa. But all you choose to do is stand there and accuse me!”
“If you loved me you wouldn’t have kissed her,” I snapped.
“She kissed me. And maybe if you trusted me enough it wouldn’t be so hard for you to believe!”
“Maybe you should give me reasons to trust you, then!” I pulled myself away from him and slowly backed away. I could feel myself growing weaker by the second. I was tired. So tired. Tears filled my eyes again and this time a loud sob escaped me before I could stop it. I sobbed into my hands, exhausted from the inside out. “Why…” I whimpered. “Why…why..”
I tried to walk away but my feet felt like lead. The world was beginning to spin around me.
“Larissa…”
Kaden’s voice sounded distant. I could barely hear him. My breath seized, my legs giving way beneath me.
“Larissa!”
I fell helplessly to the ground in a heap and I could feel myself slowly losing consciousness. The last thing I heard before I blacked out was Kaden screaming my name and yelling out to someone to fetch the doctor.
Kaden’s POV
My feet were rooted to the ground as I watched Larissa stagger on her feet. We were both fighting and yelling at each other that I did not even notice when she began to drift into unconsciousness. I watched in horror as she slipped down to the floor, and immediately my instincts kicked in.
“Larissa!” I yelled in shock. But before I could get to where she was, she had fallen to the floor with a loud thud. “Larissa!” My voice rang through the hall. I jumped to the floor and pulled her into my arms, supporting her head and calling out her name. “Issa, can you hear me?” I shook her hard. But her eyes were closed and I could barely hear the sound of her breathing.
“Is anyone there?!” I roared loudly, fear gripping me as I watched Larissa seem to fade farther and farther away from me. A servant emerged from the top of the stairs and I quickly motioned to her. “Get the pack doctor. Now! I’ll be in my chambers.”Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org exclusive © material.
As I gave the orders, I hurriedly picked Larissa up and carried her up the stairs to my room. My heart thudded in my chest as I walked, and I prayed to the moon goddess to spare her. Guilt rushed through me at the sight of her and I silently cursed myself for letting this argument get to this point. I shouldn’t have tried to make her listen to me when she was so upset. I should have let her be. I should have let her cool off before I went in search of her. The last thing I wanted was to hurt her, and now it had happened I was hurting too.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered although I knew she could not hear me. As soon as I got to my chambers, I kicked the door open and carried her to the bed, gently placing her there and propping her head up on a pillow. She still did not stir. I was more worried than ever now. I placed a hand to her forehead and realized she was burning up.
Where the hell was Annalise?
I was distracted by the sound of the doors bursting open and I turned to face Annalise. “Thank the Goddess,” I sighed in relief. “Come, come.”
She was at Larissa’s side in a moment. I watched with bated breath as she check Larissa for signs. Finally she faced me again. “What happened?”
I began to explain but then froze. I did not wish to air our matters in the open. This was between Larissa and I and I wanted it to stay that way. “We were having an argument and she just fainted.” I said. That was a good explanation without giving too much away.
Annalise nodded thoughtfully. “She just slumped?”
“Yes.”
She nodded again and then motioned to another maid who was standing by the door. My head was still spinning as I listened to Annalise describe a certain plant she needed the maid to bring to her. The maid nodded and disappeared.
“What’s wrong with her?” I asked, unable to keep the worry out of my voice. “Is she going to be okay?”
“Yes, Alpha, she will. Her pulse is very weak, and her breathing shallow. That’s a bit of a problem. But after she ingests the potion I’m about to make, she will be much better.”
I relaxed, shutting my eyes tight in gratitude. Thank the goddess. I don’t know what I would have done if something happened to her because of me. “You’re sure she’ll be okay?” I asked again just to make sure.
Annalise nodded. “She will. Fainting is normal when you’re under a lot of stress,” she explained. “That must have been some argument you two were having.”
The question underneath her words could not be hidden, but I was not about to discuss that with her. So I avoided the question completely. “I’m just glad she’ll be okay. Is there anything I can do?”
“She’ll need space to recuperate and breathe. That means the fewer people the better. Is it okay if I call you when she wakes up?”
I did not answer immediately as I continued to stare at Larissa’s peaceful face. I did not want to leave her. I would have gladly stayed by her side until she awakened so I could apologize for putting her through so much. But I also knew I should listen to the pack doctor if I wanted Larissa to heal quickly. She needed to be eased back into the present and maybe waking up to see me wasn’t what she needed.
Resignedly, I turned away from the bed and moved outside. I could not relax so I busied myself by pacing around, thoughts shooting all around my mind. I despised the way things were going at the moment. From the moment Amaya came back into my life, things had been a mess. I had tried to solve it on my own and keep the peace just so she could sign the divorce papers and go away, but all my efforts had gone to waste. It had only created a rift between Larissa and I. A rift that had widened by the day without me realising. I needed to put a cork in this matter and have it settled. I did not want to lose Larissa’s trust. It was one thing that kept me going through bad times, and I don’t know what I would do if it went away. I loved her so much. I wanted her happy and comfortable. I wanted her to be fine.
I was still pacing when I heard a sound beside me. I looked up to see the Gemini approaching me. They looked worried and I immediately knew they’d discovered something.
“Alpha,” they both greeted.
“What happened?”
The both of them exchanged looks, sighing, and then Jacob spoke up. “Alpha, we have some news for you, and you’re not going to like it.”