The Luna Choosing Game



Julian frowned a little too, sitting down, but he quickly schooled his face and looked at me. He wanted to get down to business then. Trying to distract him by discussing the comfortability of the furniture was likely to fail.

*Bridget walked in on Nicholas and me last night," I said.

Julian's eyes sparkled with mischief. "And just what were you and my dear brother up to at that time?"

*Julian, be serious," I said, only barely containing my eye roll.

"That means you were doing exactly what I suspect," he said.

*Julian," I chided.

His mischievousness fell away. "I am serious now. I'm just trying to gauge what Bridget saw exactly, if there's any way to spin it to convince her it wasn't what she thinks it was."

"There's no way to spin this," I said. "Trust me."

Julian hummed thoughtfully. "Well, shit."

"Yeah."

*Did she threaten to expose you?" he asked.

"Not exactly," I replied. "I'm not sure she would do that, for Nicholas's sake. But she said other stuff instead, like how disappointed she was." He exhaled slowly and lowered my head. The next thing was harder to say. "And how I was setting a bad example for Elva."

"Bullshit," Julian said.

While I appreciated his consideration of my feelings, I couldn't deny the subtle truth in those hurts hurt me deeply.

"She's right, though, isn't she?" I asked. "I wouldn't want my daughter to be secretly sneaking around with a man who will never marry her."

Julian's brow pulled together. "Who says he'll never marry you?"

It was cruel to give me hope, so I gave Julian a dubious look.

"I'm serious," he doubled down.

"Stop. Julian. Please. Just stop. We both know Bridget is right about this. Nicholas will never marry me, no matter what I do."

*He cares about you, Piper. He might even love -"

"It doesn't matter!" I said quickly. I didn't want to hear the rest. To consider the L-word with Nicholas was not something my heart was ready to face. I didn't know if I could ever face that, not when the end result was always going to be that he walked out on me.

"I doesn't matter," I say again, softer. I hadn't meant to shout. Julian looked at me with concern in his eyes, and that somehow made everything worse. "If he is to be king, he will need a woman beside him who can support him, whether he... cares deeply about her or not. We both know that I am not that person.*

"I don't know that, actually. In fact I think you'd be a great Luna." God help me, he seemed so earnest saying that. But I still couldn't allow myself to believe it. Besides, Julian was a good actor. He could say nearly anything and I'd believe it.

Though... what reason did he have to lie to me about this?

No. The heartbreak from allowing myself to believe only to have that hope ripped away at the worst moment was too much to bear. I couldn't face it. I wouldn't.

I didn't reply to Julian this time. I didn't ask him to stop or tell him I didn't believe him.

I didn't have to.

He was always good at reading me. He could likely see the sadness in my features, the heartache in my eyes.

Julian sat back in his chair and sighed. "Nicholas should try to marry for love. Life is hard enough as it is. Why couple yourself with anyone but the person you desire?"Upstodatee from Novel(D)ra/m/a.O(r)g

"For the crown," I replied.

He turned on his chair. When I met his eyes, he looked deep into mine. I felt revealed, exposed, as if he could see straight down into the heart of me.

*If Nicholas doesn't marry you, Piper, he's the biggest fool in the kingdom."