The Love That Passed

Colleen’s POV

“You’re going to be OK, we will do everything to make you better.” he told me and I smiled. He was holding my hand looking at me and I can see that he was worried. It was when I was sent to the hospital and woke up. Everyone has left and that makes us two alone in my hospital bed. I told him that he can go home and rest because I know that he still has work the next morning.

When I opened my eyes, I admit that I was expecting to see him, if not the first face I would be able to look at. But Mommy Claire told me that he left and then Ingrid called him. I was a bit sad, but when he came with my things, I felt relieved. He went to me and he does look guilty.

What Dr. Gerard told us about not being able to have the surgery troubled him and he was somehow anxious that’s why he was telling me that. “I know,” I replied, smiling. I didn’t want him to worry too much. Although I know my body very well and I can feel that I am not OK.

We had a talk about us, how sorry he was for wasting our two years together. “I’m sorry for taking you for granted.” he said, “I somehow found out about some things about you and I feel guilty that I misjudged you. I didn’t know how I would approach you or where to start talking to you.” he added.

“So, you decided to use the clothes and eat the foods that I prepared for you instead?” I asked him, he looked at me and nodded. “Let us not talk about the things that we regret. We have our now and tomorrow to fill those days that we wasted. It’s not yet late and it was never too late.” I told him.Content from NôvelDr(a)ma.Org.

“Thank you for being so understanding,” he replied. We have talked about his work, my past jobs. What I had been doing while he was at work. He wanted to know everything about me and he told me about himself as well.

He told me how jealous he was when he first saw me with Dr. Gerard laughing and so lively. He was jealous that I never laughed nor gave him a smile before. I was flattered when he told me that he was jealous. I am a nobody and making him feel that way made me feel really flabbergasted. I think that we are closer now after last night.

And now that Dr. Gerard had told us about my pregnancy and my condition, he was devastated. I was looking at him and he looked like the world had been thrown on him. I’m sure that he was still thinking about two years ago. I hate seeing him like he is now. Everyone left us so we could talk and I can see that they pitied him. I guess they could feel how hurt and guilty he was as well.

“Everyone was protecting me, even you.” He said with his head down. I gave his hand a squeeze so he looked at me.

“You must know that it’s not your fault that I am like this.” I told him but he shook his head. “Listen to me, don’t be like that. We’re going to be a parent soon and our baby doesn’t need negativity. I want you to be a strong and brave daddy that she could look up to.”

He smiled and asked, “You like a baby girl?” I nodded, smiling too then he touched my face. There were still tears rolling down his face but he wasn’t crying as much as earlier. We were just happy until that revelation and I wish I had forced him to give me what I needed that time. I was so prideful and that is what made me put myself in this situation. Understanding him that time was unnecessary and I should have tried harder in getting closer to him before now.

I know and I can feel that I won’t be able to hold on to my dear life, no matter how much I or we will try. So more than before, I am more determined to live my life to the fullest. I want to see my baby as long as I can and I want to see us as a complete family.

“Hubby,” I said and he smiled at him. “I remember the first time I called you that, you never get mad at me.

“Because I know that I am your husband,” he replied. So that’s why, deep inside him, he accepted me as his wife. He was just not ready to be my husband and that was enough for me. “I am going to call you Wifey now.” he said lovingly. I am the happiest, if not for my baby in my womb I can die happily now. “Wifey, from here onwards, you will only see your husband and the father of your child. No Jared who has been mean and bad to you.”

“You are not bad, you’re just hurt. But having said that, I am going to make sure that you will look only after me and our baby. Now that we are clear with each other, I want you to know that I am a very jealous woman. I am also possessive of what’s mine, so you better behave yourself.” I told him, laughing.

“I want you to be possessive of me because I am like that too. So stop looking at Dr. Gerard as though he was the most outstanding man you know.” he said, pouting. He was really jealous of him.

“He took care of me and I am grateful for that, don’t overthink about it because he is a friend. A friend that I couldn’t leave without. My love for you and him are different.” I told him and he sighed.

“I love you Colleen, my dear wife. And I am sorry that I took this long before I realized it.” he said. He was looking me in the eyes and I could feel his sincerity.

“I love you too, hubby. I am sorry that I won’t be able to stay as long as I wanted. But you have to know that whatever happens, I am always with you and our baby and will only want yours and her happiness.” I told him and we started to cry. I didn’t want to give him false hope that I am going to be better. Because I know that it is not going to happen.

Making him prepared for what to come is the best thing that I could ever do to him. Realizing we love each other only to be apart was painful and unbearable. But knowing that I am going to die soon, gives me time to do what I wanted to do at the last days of my life with and for him and our child. If God will give me a miracle to extend it, I will be grateful for His grace, forever. So I can only try to wish for a miracle while I accept my fate.