The Love That Passed

Colleen’s POV

I am happy, I may die, but I am going to die happy. Many won’t be able to understand. I should have been crying or self-pitying but I couldn’t. I felt so blessed with my family around me.

Although I am worried about Jared, ever since I was discharged from the hospital, he was always busy with something even if I didn’t see what he was doing. But I can feel it. He was happy and sad and angry. I don’t know why he was angry and whom. I didn’t want him to feel that way because it might harm him or it could make him do things that may hurt him.

Jared, my husband, is very handsome. Every time he looked at me and gave me that smile, it made me wish to see that longer. I am not a hypocrite, I am sad about the fact that I am dying as well as scared. But, I already give my life to my creator, so I only want to do things that can make me and my family happy and have memories that I could bring when I leave them.

Last night, we had our family bonding in our living room. Jared went to his office and Mom with her new family asked me if I wanted to bond with them. Just a little story telling about what everyone had been through, so I agreed. It was not to let her know how hard it was for me when I was alone, but to know how she managed to live as well after she and my dad divorced.

I was surprised to find out how she was though. I thought she led a good and happy life, but no, it was never like that. Uncle Rick made me realize how impatient my dad was for mom, who had been helping him as well when they were still together.

Uncle Rick was very understanding and patient with my mom as he just laughed about all her ruckus. When he lost the ability to work, he was devastated and mom was there for him. That’s why Diane loved her as well. I found out from my step-sister before that mom would always tell them about me. That’s why it was easy for me to forgive and accept her again in my life.

When Jared arrived, he looked different. It was as though something good happened or was going to happen. He stayed with us and told us about his own story and how Mommy Claire took care of him and Ingrid. How happy their family was until his dad passed away. It was the reason why he didn’t like the idea of our arranged marriage. He wanted a family just like them which he thought he would only get when he and his wife loved each other.

“I never thought that I am going to love this petite woman beside me. I mean, she’s fragile but brave and strong and I guess she took her hardheadedness from Mommy Lucy.” he said, laughing, which made us all laugh as well.

“She did her duty even if I was just ignoring all her efforts. I know that even if I didn’t see it or Betty didn’t tell me, she was the one who was preparing my food too. She did a really good thing in taking care of me.” he added, looking at me, so I smiled at him and gave his cheek a light pinch.

“Big brother Jared, big sister Colleen cook really well. If I were to have a wife like her, I would surely love her as well, because I love to eat and we will never run out of food every day.” Marcus said, which made everyone laugh even more. He was really into food and really loved to eat.

“Is food all in your mind?” Diane asked him, laughing.

“I am just a kid, so yes, I only think about food,” he replied.

“You’re not a kid anymore, you are already a teenager and should have thought about what you want to become when you grow up.” Diane told him.

“I don’t want to be an adult just yet. I still like to enjoy being a kid. I can see how much Mom and Dad had to work for us and I don’t think i will be able to be as strong as them.” he replied.

“Marcus, when you grow up and you have people you love that you want to protect, you will be able to do anything you thought that you couldn’t. You will go beyond your limit thinking they need you.” Uncle Rick told him, which I agreed.

“And yes, because you’re still young, all you have to do for now is enjoy yourself and do not think of anything that we adults should be thinking.” Jared told him,

“So you study first as it is your responsibility to yourself because it is your stepping stone to give your loved ones a better life,” Diane added. We stayed there for a little more until Betty called us for dinner. I was glad that I could join them during meals and not like after I was discharged from the hospital when I only stayed in our bedroom.

We continued our conversation but it wasn’t about Marcus’ future anymore. He told us about what had happened to him at school and how much he enjoyed it. He was glad that, even though he was a transferee, his classmates welcomed him. Jared excused both of us after dinner and took me to our bedroom. I knew that he was still worried about my health, so I just followed him even if I still wanted to talk to them.

“I am going to work tomorrow, so I’m sure that you have a lot of time to talk to them. You have to rest now and follow your doctor’s instructions,” he said, smiling.

“I know that, you don’t need to remind me,” I replied.

“But I can see in your face that you still want to stay there.”

“Well yes, but I know that it’s not possible, so you don’t have to explain to me about this.”

“That’s good to know,” he said and kissed me. We had a little talk for a while until I felt my eyes heavy. I am sleepy and he lets me succumb to my slumber.

In the morning, Jared left a little late for work. “I only want to stay with you, you know. If only it was fine not to go to work anymore.” he said, and I laughed at him.

“Go now, Mr. McLahlin. You have been absent for so many days already because of me.” I told him.This content © Nôv/elDr(a)m/a.Org.

“It’s not because of you, it was because of me. I want to see you always. If only I can take you to my work, I will surely do that.” he said, pouting and he was so cute, so I gave him a quick kiss. “You get yourself better so I can bring you to work, OK?” he asked after, and I nodded my head in agreement.

“I would love that,” I replied. He went to his office and I was left in our room. I decided to turn on the TV and look for a movie or something that could entertain me while I waited for others to become available. I accidentally pressed the news channel and what I saw shocked me.

Stacey and her politician boyfriend were caught. There were reporters and I saw how the senator left her. Just what had happened? Does Jared do that to them? If so, for what reason? Did he find out about their relationship and she wanted revenge? I don’t think so, he looked happy before he went to his office early. I surely felt that he loves me now.

Did he do that because of me? Because of what happened to me after I saw their photos? Then, does he love me so much that he resorted to that? If that’s the case, how is he feeling now? Is he just trying to hide from me the pain and sadness of losing me in the end? I don’t know what I am feeling now, but it hurts me knowing I was hurting him that much too.

And I started to blame myself. I should have been more eager to live. I should have forced him to give me money for my surgery two years ago. My tears started to fall thinking how much pain it may cause him in the end. I am fine and I already accepted my fate, but, did he accept it too?