The Love That Passed

Jared’s POV

Colleen and I had talked about us on her first night at the hospital. I had a feeling that she was not telling me everything and I would surely find out about it. I was hopeful that she’d come to be OK after her surgery even though Dr. Gerard told us that it wasn’t possible as of the moment.

I got to know Colleen and what she had been through only to feel like an id** for thinking the worst of her. She was so kind and understanding. She had positive views on life, even though I myself thought that it was unfair to her.

I told her how jealous I was when I saw her with Dr. Gerard and that she never smiled at me the way she smiled at him. I confessed to her that I loved her already. That’s why I asked her to start over again.

She was happy and I could see that in her eyes. She looks lively and I was glad that somehow made her feel that way.Exclusive content © by Nô(v)el/Dr/ama.Org.

The following morning, I was ready to call my secretary to look for a doctor that could help Dr. Gerard when mom and Ingrid came. They were really early and not a little later, Colleen’s mom arrived as well, with her step-sister.

She briefly told me about her family and that her mother had been good to her lately. I forgot to tell her that I answered her call and told her that she was in the hospital, but I guess she’ll understand it.

We were having our casual conversation when Dr. Gerard came in. I remember him telling us about the result of Colleen’s laboratory test, so I prepared myself. I want to be with her and make her feel that I am always here for her from now on.

“The results are out now and I’m sure that you are brave and prepared, right?” he asked and she nodded. We were all listening, especially me, because I didn’t want to miss any information about Colleen’s condition so I didn’t leave her side and hold her hand.

“You know that you needed the surgery as soon as possible, right?” Dr. Gerard asked, he looked very sad and as though he didn’t want to tell her what he needed to say. “It is not going to happen even if we have a donor available for you.” he said,

“Why not?” I asked. I mean, if she has a donor, then everything’s going to be OK, right?

“Because she’s pregnant.” Dr. Gerard answered. What’s wrong with that? I really need to get another doctor to help him.

I was overflowing with happiness when I found out that she was pregnant. But that was just for a short moment, because the world had been thrown on me after I heard what Dr. Gerard said.

Colleen didn’t want Dr. Gerard told us whatever the reason was, but we persuaded her as well as her doctor, saying she needed us to make her decision.

“Jared, whatever it is, promise me that you are not going to leave my side now. OK?” she said, so I nodded even though I was confused.

“You are pregnant and we can’t do the surgery because of that.” Dr. Gerard said,

“How about after she gave birth?” I asked and noticed Claire and Ingrid backed out and sat on the sofa.

“It might be too late for her even if she gives birth via cesarean section. She has less than a year to live.” Dr. Gerard. “She’s not allowed to get pregnant to begin with and I don’t know why she let it happen.” Dr. Gerard added and looked at Colleen as everyone gasped, covering their mouths with their hands.

I saw her mother. Lucy’s tears started to fall down her face so I looked at Colleen, wanting to know whether what Dr. Gerard said it was true.

Less than a year. Colleen is dying and I had no idea about that. Then I remember her asking for money about two years ago. I didn’t want to entertain the thought because it would only make me feel worse.

Then Dr. Gerard said about having difficulty getting a donor the third time. Mom was shocked that Colleen let the first one pass. And just as I had felt earlier, it was really that time when I asked for money.

What I told her was cruel. Mom was disappointed with me and I can’t blame her, I was too with myself. Mom slapped me and that made me feel even worse. My tears started to fall and I got down on my knees saying sorry to my wife.

She was crying too and yet I could still see sadness in her eyes. “Jared,” she called me, and then I looked at her. We were both crying but Colleen had a smile on her face.

“Don’t overthink about it. It’s my decision and if I was too eager when I asked you for money, I would tell you, you can’t do anything about it and you will only do what I want. You don’t know how stubborn your wife is.” she said as she tried to reach my face, so I moved closer to her and let her wipe my tears. “Get up and sit back here. I didn’t want to see my hubby looking like that. I am not dead yet, you know.” she added, and even if she was weak, she tried to pull me up.

Hubby, the first time she called me was when she asked me for money. I thought she only called me that because she needed something from me. That’s why I got mad at her. I never thought that that’s what she really wanted to call me.

I sighed and followed her. I am willing to do anything she asks me to do. That’s a promise to myself. I will only do what she wants me to do and nothing else.

When we were all calm, Dr. Gerard continues telling us about abortion. I didn’t want it and I’m sure Colleen as well. But it was for his own good. I was torn between saving her and our baby’s life. Is this my punishment for taking her for granted? For being cruel to her?

Ingrid agreed and asked for my opinion. I looked at Colleen and I knew that she would stick to her decision but I still needed to try. I know I am not in the position to decide for her now, but she’s all that I can see right now.

I explained to her about how much I love and wanted our baby and told her about what I think as well. She never got angry. Instead, I saw understanding in her eyes. I can see that she was not mad at my decision. But even if it was like that, she had already decided not to have an abortion and I accepted that.

She was looking at me and I nodded in understanding. Whatever happens, I am not going to get mad at her or blame her. She said she was selfish, but that’s not true. She was selfless. She said she was st****, it’s not true either. She was smart to choose our baby’s life instead of her surgery that did not assure her life. Now, I admire her even more for being brave and feel guilty for being an a*****e to her.