Chapter 38 A Tear Stained Letter
...Anastasia...
The moment that he opened the door, I questioned if I did not perhaps make a mistake in coming here. But when he welcomed me with open arms, I forgot who we really are, a Vampire and a Vampire Hunter. And I overlooked that small part where he is in love with me. The point is, I needed a friend, and he is the only friend that I have left.
And as he sees the mascara that is smudged between all the tears, there is anger that starts to boil in his eyes. I know exactly what he is thinking; he knows who has caused these tears, and there is no way he is going to overlook the pain that I am feeling. And there shall be no way that he will just let it go without saying a word. So he wastes no time in asking the question.
"What did he do now?"
"I am afraid there is a downside being with a man as old as he."Content is property © NôvelDrama.Org.
"I am glad that you can refer to him as a man."
"Just as I shall be glad you refer to me as a woman."
"Anastasia, there is a difference between you and him."
"And what shall that be?"
I watch as Zachariah chooses his words very wisely as he speaks again.
"You still have a heart, perhaps not a real beating one, but you still care. I am afraid to say that man is as cold as that icy wind outside."
"I thought he had a heart, but there are so many bad things he has done in his past; I am shocked to say that it has a lot to do with women."
"Has he been unfaithful?"
"No, he has not; I told him that I shall kill him if he does."
This does make Zachariah burst out in laughter. He knows me as a woman that stays true to her word. And I am afraid to say, if Sebastian breaks my heart again, I shall kill his lover, and I will most certainly take my revenge on him. But now the question begs, I have run away from my life, I have run away from Sebastian, what am I going to do now? And if I do not want to answer that question, then Zachariah will ask. "So, what are you going to do now?"
"Live in eternity alone. I guess there is a part of me that knew that this shall happen."
"I can't believe I am saying this, but maybe you are overreacting? I mean, these are old lovers that are only taking revenge."
"The thing with Beatrix was too real. It seems as if he was almost enjoying it too much."
"That said, he did not go all the way."
"Yes, only because I stopped him twice."
Then those awful memories come running through my head again, but then there is also the great remorse that he showed. I know Sebastian loves me, but for how long is the question. When do I become an old scorned lover on his list of women?
...Sebastian...
So Edward has come to do what he does the best, be the bearer of bad news. And as I stand and take this in, I can only think of one thing. If this comes back to haunt me, then I am afraid that Anastasia shall take her revenge. He is polite in saying past endeavors as he refers to a woman that I used for my own sexual pleasure. I am indeed afraid to say this, not again.
Now we find our way to The Council house; since the last disastrous events with The Council, we have set a permanent location where The Council shall convene. So this situation brings us here today, for it was Victor that saw her causing havoc around town. So I am finding this somewhat amusing, as going to catch her is going to pose somewhat of a problem.
And it takes only one word from Edward to remind us of what she is.
"Shapeshifter. How do we catch a shapeshifter?"
"My concern is, what is Amelia doing in town?"
"Well, my friend, there might be only one answer to that."
"If you say my name, then I will knock you out."
And Victor, who is watching our exchange of words, need to point the other obvious problem.
"What is Anastasia going to about this?"
"My friend, do you want to be knocked out cold too?"
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So now the amusement is on me. Do I go home and tell Anastasia or wait and see what itis that Amelia wants? Who knows that she might not even come for me at all, then I would have raised unnecessary concern.
And with this in mind, we conclude our business; I shall not mention to Anastasia until we know why Amelia is in town. So with a more optimistic view of our problem, Edward and I leave to return home.
While we take the drive back home, every part of me is hoping that she has forgiven me; I miss being present in her arms and holding her while we rest. I have never seen why it was necessary until it has become a custom for me and my beloved. This day has been to endless; all I now need is her.
Then as we finally step through the door, we find Lilith as she usually does in the kitchen. But something is amiss; she has a look on her place that I cannot place. "Lilith, what is the matter?"
"It is Anastasia."
My heart immediately drops; the world around me comes to a stop as fear sets in. My breathing becomes more rapid as every possible scenario starts to run through my head. It takes me several failed attempts before I finally can speak. "What is wrong with Anastasia?"
She hands me a white envelope that has got my name neatly written on. I have never seen her writing; it is the smell of jasmine and vanilla that lingers on the paper that tells me that it is her. So I slowly take the note and fold it open. What strikes me at first is to see the rundown ink where her tears have fallen onto it. Lilith sees the pain in my eyes, and she takes Edward to leave me alone. It is with hesitation that I read the agonizing words of my beloved.
"My dear Sebastian, You have hurt me. I know that it is not by your doing, but it still hurts. I saw you with another woman the way you should be with me. I understand that it was a spell, but did you perhaps not think it was not wise to go there in the first place. Well, the damage is done; I do not know if I can be with you in that way again. I need time, and guess what, I only have eternity. So I beg, please let me go, and if I am ready, then I shall come back. Yours eternally. Anastasia."
I toss the note to the side and scream out in agony. The anger and hurt overwhelm me as I smash a bottle of whiskey against the wall. Just as I grab another, I feel a gentle hand stop me. "Sebastian, that is not going to solve a thing."
"Lilith, she is gone; she has left me."
"She will be back; just give her time."
"What? Wait for eternity? I have no time to wait for eternity. Itis foolish if you think I shall let her go."
"I am not saying let her go; give her time to let go of her anger."
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"I cannot and will not be without Anastasia. I would prefer that she sits here and be mad at me rather than being somewhere completely alone."
Then Edward steps next to Lilit, and I swear he speaks the wisest words that I thought I shall ever hear him speak.
"Sebastian, I do not think she is alone; where do you think she would have gone to?"
"I have only one person I can think of. I guess we are going to pay the Vampire Hunter a visit."
...Anastasia...
But I am not here to dwell on heartache; I am here to find myself again. I have become dependent on a man's love, and therein I am losing my identity. I have stopped being me; I have become a bitter and angry Vampire; I should be enjoying the gift that immortality brings, and with that, I cannot have any regrets. I cannot let these things haunt me even though they hurt me.
So I can try to have a normal existence. I shall stay with Zachariah tonight, and tomorrow I will decide what it is that I shall do. But first, a suggestion, something that would normally be impossible, and that are having fun with my friend and of course our local Vampire Hunter.
"Zachariah, what do you say we go down to the pub to have a few drinks?"
"I did not know that Vampires drink?"
"Of course we do; we are not completely cold."
"I will reserve my comments."
I playfully punch him on his arm as we make our way out the door. I cannot help but notice the big smile that consumes his face. I know that I am stirring things that should remain unstirred, but I know right now I need Zachariah just as much as he needs me.
So twenty minutes later, we find ourselves walking through the door of his pub, finding the first seat, which by luck is our regular. For a brief moment, the hurt of the loss of Eva swims over me. While I seat myself, Zachariah goes off to the bar to get our drinks.
But then I am ripped from my thoughts by someone standing at the edge of the table. I am taken aback by her pure raw beauty. And as she speaks, I am blown away at the softness of her voice.
"Would you mind sharing a table? All the others are taken."
"Of course not, you are more than welcome to join us. I am Anastasia."
"Pleasure to meet you. I am Amelia."