BOOK OF HOPE
“Are you sure that you want to throw all of this away?” Izzy asked as she helped me clear my mini library in my room where I had more than three hundred books.
I looked at the book, and I felt a tingle of hurt in my heart with every book that we took down and put in the huge box. I looked at the sets of books that cost me thousands of dollars, and hundreds of hours just to read all of them.
“Yeah, Izzy,” I said as I grabbed the set of Percy Jackson Books by Rick Riordan, and I could almost feel tears form in my eyes, “these books seem like they’re harmless, but I know in myself what they do to me, and I know how much these books affect me spiritually. I need to let go of these books and set myself free from myself and my addiction.”
“Fine, but I still think that it’s a waste since you spent more than fifteen years collecting all of these books,” she said as she arranged a few more books inside of the box, “You’ve always been someone who loves books and reading, and you also love art. After you talked to mom and made up with her, you suddenly decided to do this.” she said with a hint of something in the end of her tone.
“Izzy, I know that tone, what do you want to know?” I asked as I stopped stacking my books and looked at her as the two of us sat on the floor.
“What happened between you and mom that made you do this so suddenly?” She said with sincere worry in her tone, “did you and mother really make up and are now on good terms? Or did she force you to do this as a consequence, and you’re hiding it from me so I won’t worry?” There was frustration in her voice, and I just gave her a genuine smile.
“She didn’t tell or inform me to do anything, Izzy,” I said as I grabbed one of the books on the floor, “I decided this after I saw a huge image while hugging mom.”
Izzy’s eyes widened in shock as I felt the hairs on my body stand up from the chilling experience.
“Shyne, what do you mean you saw a guy? Inside this room? When, and how?” She was stuttering a bit, and I knew she was creeped out.
“Well, it was a shadow,” I said honestly, as I recalled a faceless dark shadow standing in front of mama and me as I hugged my mother, “however, it disappeared as soon as I closed my eyes and prayed. Then, while I continued to close my eyes, something in me made me look at the mini library that I have here.”
I said as the two of us looked at all the books.
“I know every story of every book in here, and I’m familiar with all the contents that each book has. I’ve poured all of my emotions in these books and in this room,” I aid as I helped Izzy put the scattered book on the floor into the box in between us, “I asked myself why I kept seeing shadows here, why I kept having creepy experiences here, and as I prayed after mom left my room, I realized something.”
I stood up and grabbed more books as Izzy just looked at me and followed me with her eyes. She had a look of both confusion and interest as I looked sadly at the book in my hand.
“Books became my refuge and my pretend family, and everything in these books, I took it to heart. I remember reading a verse in Proverbs 23:7, that whatever I think or feed my mind, that’s who I become,” I looked at the fanfiction books, the romance novels, and the other books filed with depressed characters, “I think the negative energy that I’ve been gathering in my room is what makes my room susceptible with the negative energy that Rian already gave me.”
Izzy looked at the books she was holding, and rechecked the books. I also looked at every book cover that I could, and saw that my analysis was right. I surrounded myself with books that didn’t help me face the reality I had, and taught me to run away from reality.Content rights by NôvelDr//ama.Org.
“Izzy, these books are nice, but I realized that these books are one of the things that Rian has on me. My mind isn’t as stable or as positive as it should be, and I need to change that,” Izzy was just quiet as she listened to me as I spoke while giving her the books to pile in the boxes.
“We’re rich, Izzy, but no money could help me escape Rian or my mind. We tried therapy a few times before Rian, but they never worked. They only made me worse, because I feel like I can’t breathe on my own,” I looked at the book in my hand and it was one of my favorite books, The samurai game by Christine Feehan.
“These books,” I whispered as a tear fell from my eyes, “they need to go. I need to face my reality, and these books are preventing me from doing it,” Izzy stood up and hugged me.
“Sis, Shyne,” she said after a few seconds, “what do you plan on doing with these books, now?”
I unloaded the last box of books, and pastor Malina gave me an encouraging smile as she patted my shoulder. Izzy and the other young people took the boxes and brought them inside the church.
“Are you sure you want to leave those books here? Your sister told me how important those books are to you,” she said as we both looked at the boxes in the altar. I felt a conflict within me like something wanted me to grab the box and bring it back home.
“I’m sure, pastor. I want you to burn all of them for me. I can’t do it on my own,” I said as I forced myself to stay calm and not cry or run after the boxes.
I saw the shock in her face, and I pulled my gaze away from the box to look her straight in the eyes.
“Pastor? Can I have a request?” I asked, and she looked at me intently, “please pray for me. I’m not much of a prayer, nor am I much of a church person, but at this point, I’ll do anything and everything I can to be free from him.”
The pastor just looked at me, and later, she prayed for me. I felt that warm feeling, and the feeling of panic as they took the box away was gone. Later that night, I sat inside of my room, and I knew that something changed. I felt light.
I closed my eyes and tried to sleep, but I couldn’t. It felt like I had to do something, so I opened my phone and turned on the lights. I clicked the bible app, and read a few chapters. A few minutes later, I received a message from an unknown number.
“The dead are angered, so beware,” I read the message and a chill instantly went up my spine as an earthquake began. Unfortunately, I saw that it was just my bed that’s moving.