The Dark Side Of Fate by Karima Sa'ad Usman

25 Affirmations

~Tamia~

Things got intense between Sylvester and me, and I found myself completely in love with him.

I was afraid that I would repeat history, but my heart was beyond my control.

He knew how to act, what to say and what to do.

He made me feel like the most important person in his world, and I slowly found myself saying, 'this is it' but I had said that before, not so long ago, and I came out burnt and broken.

I wasn't willing to make that jump again.

It was a scary situation to be in. I tried to fight my feelings and kept telling myself it was casual.

I tried to think through the situation to guard my heart. The fact that Sylvester and I weren't fated scared the shit out of me.

Questions of the future plagued my mind. What if she shows up one day just like Amanda? Where will that leave me?

He had never told me he loved me. This could be a fun and exciting thing for him.

I scolded myself for catching feelings.

Every day we would wake up, eat, and train together. I let him go and handle his duties, and then we met in the evening and did whatever we liked.

It was fun and scary because I had fallen in love with him.

When I decided to speak to Sylvester about my fears, we were lying on the grass in the western garden, a part of the estate people rarely visited.

"Sylvester," I said gently; we were lying side by side and looking at the stars that graced the night sky.

It was a beautiful sight and a lovely moment. I was afraid that I might ruin it.

"Yes," he replied, and I exhaled.

"Do you ever let your prisoners go?" I asked him, and he chuckled.

"Which of the prisoner's, green eyes? The ones in the cell or the trophies?" he asked, making light the question.

"Your trophies," I asked, and he exhaled too.

"They have nowhere to go back to, I am their Alpha, and they are connected to me; I am not keeping them here as prisoners; they are here because this is their only home for now. They are free to leave, but they only leave if they find love or want to move to Lucland or another part of the north. They are all here of their own volition. I am a lord, not a monster. I expect the women to fall in love eventually and move on. I also know they have needs." He said.

"Would you ever settle down?" I asked him immediately, and he was silent.

"I am sorry to ask, but I overheard some ladies talking about how you threw out the five women in your harem. They said you told a woman called Arya that you do not plan on settling down. I just want to know if it is true," I said.

"I am not worried about it. I understand. Coming out of a failed marriage, I can understand, and I am okay where we are; that way, if you find your fated, it would not be an issue," I said, trying to

convince myself more that falling for him was stupid.

He turned to his side to look at me.

"Look at me," He said, and I did what he asked and made sure my face bore no emotions.

"I indeed said those things, and I meant them, Tamia. As the lord of the north with a pending war, I doubt I would want to tie any woman down. It was my way of setting them free and making them forget about me," He said, and his words hurt because it seemed as if his mindset had not changed.

"As for my fated, I do not care about that shit, Tamia. I make my destiny. I do not care what the stars say. I won't lose my shit or betray a woman that has been there for me through thick and thin, because fate said so. I will reject her in a heartbeat and risk being weak," He said, and I smiled at him. Having been there, I knew it was easier said than done.

He touched my face gently and smiled.

"I am not Leo, Tamia," he said, and I nodded, but my eyes were already welling up with tears because I was a fool all over again. I had fallen completely in love with someone that did not plan on having anything serious with me.

"I am nothing like my father. My trophies are not prisoners: they are free, but I won't let you go, Tamia. You aren't a prisoner here, and you aren't a trophy; you are my woman," he said, and I smiled at him, but tears were threatening to fall at that moment.

He sat up and asked me to do the same. Then he pulled me close and crashed his lips on mine,

"I want to make love to the woman I love under the stars," he said, tugging on my clothes gently, and I could not believe he had used the word 'love' with me. He moved from my lips to my neck.

"I can't wait to claim you as mine, Tamia," he linked me, sucking on the spot on my neck, and my body came apart; he moved to the crook of my neck and opened my blouse to expose my breasts.

"You aren't my trophy, Tamia. Never compare yourself to them," He linked me and sucked my nipples one at a time.

He sucked while he rubbed the other between his thumb and index finger.

I had started moaning, and he growled with approval.

He rolled down my panties and spread my legs wide. I laid back down on the grass, looking at the stars while he ate me.

"Sylvester," I moaned, my vision blurry and my heart racing fast.

Please let this be it; I prayed while I writhed, moaning in pleasure, running my fingers through his hair and anticipating the release.

All my senses were alive, and I felt the release coming through. I let go, and it erupted inside me.

He did not stop until I came down.

Then he leaned over me and stared into my eyes.

"I wasn't joking when I said this is it, Tamia, I love you," He said, knowing what had troubled my heart all along and drove himself into me before I could say anything, making love to me under the stars.

"This is it for me, Tamia," He said, pumping gently but hitting the right spot.

Soon he sat up and pulled me up. I came on top, hugging him and riding. He held me and my body responded to him.

My speed became faster because an orgasm was coming, and soon it erupted again. He stilled and released into me.

He held me, his head against my chest.

"I am never letting go. I love you," He said and looked at me.

I had tears of fear in my eyes, fear that fate might take him from me, so I held on to my confession of love, never speaking the words that might doom me again, and my lips quivered.

"You have nothing to worry about with me, Tamia. You won't lose me to anyone, not even a fated. I won't do what Leo did to you. I promise. Your heart and love are too precious for me to throw away because fate says so. I am begging you to trust me and love me without reserve," he said. I searched his eyes, and they were sincere, but so were Leo's until, the day he saw Amanda.

"Don't make promises you can't keep," I said to him, my hands and knees shaking.

"I don't. I know I will keep this one," he breathed in my scent.

"Until you, I did not think my heart would ever beat for anyone or I would ever feel this way, but you have made what seemed impossible possible. I want you to trust me and take this leap with me, please. Open up one more time. I know it is a lot to ask for, but I am asking you to give me a chance," he said to me, and in those moments, I threw caution to the wind because who was I fooling? My heart was already invested deep in what we had; I might as well go all in.

"I love you too, Sylvester," I said to him, "please do not damage what is left of my heart. I doubt I will survive another rejection. I will always be with you and never leave, even if there is an opportunity to do so, I am with you by choice, and I am giving you my heart by choice. If ever fate interferes with what we have, I will let him go in a heartbeat because I choose you, but please, Sylvester, do not let

me down. Do not make me share, and do not make me regret this," I pleaded with him, and he held me. ConTEent bel0ngs to Nôv(e)lD/rama(.)Org .

"I am ready to go all the way with you, Tamia; settle down and have children. I want to build a life with you, and I hope you will let me." He said, pleading with me, and I nodded.

I wanted those things, too; although fate had robbed me greatly, I still wanted those things.

"Don't ever listen to rumours and equate yourself to the people of my past. What we have is different. It is unique and new," he said, and I nodded.

He kissed me and made love to me under the stars. My heart was lifted that night, and my worries dissipated, but fate still scared me because I feared what it might have in store for me.