Chapter 18: The cries of the night
I was still on the grass when the beast returned just as the sun was about to turn pink and orange and the birds were going to greet their morning with songs. There was blood glistening on his white fur, mainly around his claws but some around his mouth and jaw as well. If it was from the deer he dropped or from another one of his victims was impossible to tell, I just knew that there was blood, and that at least one had died tonight.
I wept and sobbed as the night lingered over us both. I had begged for someone to send me a miracle, and when my prayers hadn't been answered, there had been more tears rolling down my tears and cries so loud that it had frightened some of the night lives in the woods. None of it had mattered to me. His body had gone cold in the night, despite my best effort to keep him warm with my own body heat. The blood had also stopped flowing a long time ago, but the night breeze did nothing to cover the stench of iron that hit my nose every time I inhaled.
Theo was dead, and I held his corpse as if it would disappear as soon as I let go. The tears had stopped a while ago, but the trembling and the silent sobs still remained intact as the only thing I could do. It felt as if the rest of me had died with him. I hadn't known him for too long, but I hadn't realised how comfortable I had been in his company until now when it was too late. Theo had made this place seem like more than just a nightmare, and even if we were both here against our will, at least we had been here together.
The sound of cracking bones could be heard from behind me and I knew that if I turned around, I would be greeted by the sight of Riven instead of the murderous beast, and I wasn't sure if that was better or worse. "Liliana," He spoke so softly as if he'd thought that I would break. I could even feel the ghost of his hand on my shoulder.
"Don't," It came out more raspy than I expected. I shook off his hand and tightened my grip around Theo's body. "Don't you dare."
"I tried to warn you," It came out as a plea. "I tried to warn you that this could happen."
"What should I have done instead!" I turned my neck violently but regretted it as soon as my eyes met his, so I retreated back to burying my face in Theo's hair.
"What should I have done instead?" This time it came out as poison. "We can't all turn off our emotions and leave the other to fetch for themselves. We can't all be cold-blooded murderers."
In my peripheral vision, I saw how Riven flinched at the accusation, but not even that could give me the satisfaction of victory.
"You killed him," I said instead. "He had already lost so much but managed to gain hope when you killed him."
Just when I thought that I was out of tears, I felt them collecting on the bottom of my eye and spilling over in floods again. "Liliana, I..."
"It should have been you!" I yelled this time, with no regard for anything around me. There was no point. "It should be your corpse we have to bury. It should be your youth we take away from you. It should be your death we celebrate but instead... Instead, I am mourning the loss of a friend. Instead, I'm cradling what was my last purpose in life. It should have been you and your curse and your horrible heart!"
"Don't you think I know that!" I had not expected Riven to yell back, but I was too exhausted to even flinch. "What do you think I've been doing the entire day, celebrating another transition? No, I spent the entire day trying to kill myself but HE. WOULDN'T. LET. ME."
The truth was like a rain of acid, it burned the wounds that were already there.
"Do you think I want to kill people every month? Do you think I want to take the life of everyone that dares to come near me?! Don't you understand? I've been trying to kill myself for years! But nothing can hurt the beast. Not a fall from the mountains, not strong streams of the river, not an axe, not a gun, not a dagger, NOTHING! I am stuck being this... this thing that hurts everyone."
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"But isn't it a part of you?" I snapped back, finally facing Riven again only to see that there were tears streaming down his face as well, smearing out the faint blood on his chin and causing it to drip on the grass. His shoulders were tense and most of his pants ripped apart while his chest was bare and bloody. If it had been anyone else, I would have sympathised with him, but it wasn't.
"You said it yourself," I continued. "The witch amplified the worst parts of you."
"The worst part of me isn't that I'm a murderer," Riven threw back. "It is that I'm a taker. That I take, and take, and take, and take, and take without ever giving back. So she made me into this to make sure that I would continue to take, even when I don't want to, there would always be something in my hands at the end of the night, another daughter, another son, another father or just another life. I would always take. And that was the worst of me." "And now?"
"Now?" Riven chuckled frustrated. "Now I can't stop. Now it's no longer my choice anymore. Now I can't even give back because what I take is irreversible."
I looked back at Theo again. At his relaxed expression, at his pale skin. He looked the same way he did the day we found him and I had hated the sight then and I hated the sight now. But this time, we couldn't save Theo, no matter how much we wanted to, we couldn't save him. I had sent prayers for his soul, and I had sent prayers to his family, but it didn't erase the fact that he was gone from this world. It didn't erase the fact that a boy, whose life had been too innocent and whose hopes had been for the young, had died before he ever got a chance to experience life. Because he cared, because he had been concerned about the one that now had his blood on his hands.
"He came out to help you," I said, almost as a whisper. But Riven heard, he always did.
"I know," Even his voice was raw with emotions right now.Exclusive content © by Nô(v)el/Dr/ama.Org.
"It should have been you."
"I know," Riven said again.
"He didn't deserve this," For the first time tonight, I lightened my grip around him.
"I know."
I sat there in silence, Theo's body laying over my legs and Riven watching me warily. The sun had made an appearance in the sky and the lives in the forest had started to wake up, unaware of the souls that were lost tonight. I hadn't even allowed myself to think about who could have died in the village today. I hadn't allowed myself to wonder whose son or daughter they were burying, hadn't allowed myself to ponder on which soul would join Theo's in the afterlife, and I did not allow myself to start wondering that now. Not when I had a promise to fulfil, not when my duties weren't over yet. I hadn't been able to slay the beast as I'd dreamt of a thousand times, but I would not fail Theo. I would not disrespect his last wish and disappoint another soul tonight. I would not allow myself to wither when I still had one last thing to do.
"I'm going to bury him," I said with no particular emotion involved.
Riven hesitated before responding, and what left his mouth was something that should have surprised me more than it did. "I'll show you the graveyard."