Chapter 16: To grow without freedom
My days revolved around Theo after that, around him and his fragile tiny body and his scared confused eyes and his flinching instincts every time a drop of water unexpectedly touched his skin, reminding him of whatever trauma he'd gone through to have him end up here, an event he still hadn't had the courage to tell us about. But it was okay, I kept his mind occupied by teaching him what I'd recently been taught, where everything lay and what we needed to do every day to survive. He was a little slow at first, not really certain how to process his surroundings and most of all uncertain as to why we did it the way we did, until I subtly told him that this place wasn't like any other place, trying my best not to reveal something that wasn't mine to reveal.
Riven, however, wasn't making it easy to understand what I was and wasn't allowed to tell me, mainly because he wasn't even around to help. Almost as soon as Theo was back on his feet, eating, drinking and talking on his own, Riven kept his distance for no particular reason. At first, I thought he was mourning the boy's freedom like me, especially when I caught him looking at us again and again. But his distance was something else entirely, he kept it out of spite, out of negativity I couldn't read. He still cooked our food, and he still collected enough vegetables and meat for meals for three, but he never socialised, never said more than what was necessary and was always out of the room before anyone could even try to strike up a conversation with him. It was even worse behaviour than what I had given him during my first days, or more accurately, it was exactly that behaviour I gave him during my first days here. But still, despite my attitude towards him, he still wasn't as cold as he currently was towards Theo, and I couldn't figure out why.
Every time I saw the way Theo stared up at the large mountains, my heart ached. I had already told him that it was impossible for him to leave, had already told him that the mountains were too high to climb and survive and that the river was too strong and wild to swim in. He had then asked me if he was dead, if we were angels preparing him for the next step in his afterlife, or if this was his afterlife and there was no one here because he hadn't been good enough for his ancestors to welcome him. In return I had wrapped my arms around him and placed my chin on his head, not saying much exactly, but hoping that the gesture itself spoke larger than any combinations of words ever could.
He dozed off quickly that night, and it wasn't until I had made sure that he was sound asleep that I tip-toed out of the bedroom, finding Riven by the kitchen sink with a glass of water on the counter and a book in his hands. Emotions washed over him as I approached him and violently took the book out of his hands. To his credit, he didn't flinch when the book was ripped out of his grip, but his slightly widened eyes revealed that he hadn't really expected that approach, even if he had been expecting an approach.
"What is wrong with you?!" I hissed between my teeth.
"You'll have to clarify," He responded as if he didn't know exactly what I was talking about, and it only infuriated me further.
"Why are you acting like a stuck-up brat?" I put my hands on my hips. "Theo needs both of us in order to get through whatever he's going through now, and your cold shoulder surely isn't helping."
"He has you hasn't he?" Riven leaned back on the counter and crossed his arm. "He doesn't need two people ordering me around like a puppy."
"Do I need to remind you that I know almost as little of this place as he does?" I snapped back. "Most of the secrets here aren't my secrets to tell, but you're not around long enough to even greet him or ask him if he's doing okay after he almost drowned."
"Fine, tomorrow I'll sing a good morning song to him and ask him if his health is at its finest," Riven threw up his hands in the air. "And when it comes to the secrets, I don't really care. Reveal all of them for him, telling him everything I've told him to see if I care. Heads up, I don't."
"This isn't only about the secrets," I sighed frustratedly, desperately trying to reason with him. "Why are you avoiding him? What has he ever done to deserve your spit?"
"He washed up on my shore," Riven was away from the counter and in front of me in two steps. "He washed up on my river and got stuck here."
"That is hardly his fault," I protested.
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"I know!" He defended almost immediately. "I know."
"So why are you mad at him? Why does his presence bother you?"Text © by N0ve/lDrama.Org.
I couldn't understand him anymore. I wasn't even sure if this conversation was going anywhere, But I hated that I didn't know the answer to why he resented the child. Not because there wasn't a lot to resent by the sight of him alone. I could imagine a lot of reasons for Riven to hate him, such as his youth and innocent freedom, his childishness that might be a reminder of Riven's own naive youthhood, or perhaps that his mate had taken more liking to the boy than she had taken to him. I looked at Theo and mourned his freedom, and perhaps Riven looked at Theo and hated the reminder of how long ago he had his own life outside of these mountains. The possibilities were endless, and that was why I needed Riven to tell me one, the truth. But he seemed pretty reluctant to any answers I tried to pry out of him as if we didn't have another lifetime together stuck here all three of us.
"Why do you care?!" Riven threw back.
"Because I've just been hit with the realisation that I am stuck here, and that I will be stuck here for the rest of my life unless I kill myself or you kill me," Riven flinched back at the mention of this. "Because I've just realised that whatever we have going on within these mountains will forever only be about me, you and the boy that almost died and I hate it. I hate that I'm stuck with you. I hate that you're alive and that you have doomed me to this. And most of all I hate the fact that his," I pointed towards the bedroom door where Theo was sleeping. "His life ended too soon and we are now both stuck with a monster. So now, with another life in line, I have to care, I have to care about him and I have to care about you enough for you not to consider leaving us both starved."
"Maybe I'll just starve you," He muttered under his breath.
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"Perhaps, but I will not take my chances," I responded.
"I am not a monster," Riven said, low and dangerous.
"Yes, you are," I threw back and met his eyes without hesitation.
His emerald eyes bore into mine and pinned me on the spot, his height adding to his advantage as he stared me down, but I did not fall back. When it had been only me and him, the only life I'd gambled with was my own, and I couldn't do that to Theo, not after everything I'd promised him, not after all the times I'd told him that he would be okay. I had been prepared to die if it meant keeping the one thing Riven wanted away from him, his mate. But I couldn't die now knowing that I left Theo's life in the hands of a beast, a man that had done nothing to prove that he was gentle and soft-hearted. If anything, he'd only proved the opposite.
I knew that Riven could strike me down if he wanted to, I would put up with a fight for sure but Riven would without hesitation be the one standing. Still, I refused to shy away from him and his hard gaze. I glared back with the same amount of energy to stand my ground, and had no intention of breaking eye contact first. Riven must have sensed this, because he was the one who ended up taking a step back.
"Do what you wish with the boy. Tell him what you want to tell him," Riven said, voice cold and somehow threatening. "But I should warn you, don't get attached to him."