Chapter 23
CASSANDRA
I have been walking aimlessly around the house with no chores to do and no food to cook since Nick asked me to stop doing all these things yesterday. Although I think I deserve every single Ill treatment I get from him since I’ve been confusing both of us about what I really feel about him, I still feel very bad about it.
I already made up my mind today that if I try the last time and he doesn’t listen or try to amend things with me then he has moved on and I will leave his house tonight and leave his life forever, and also leave this country so Victoria never finds me… hopefully.
I walk into his room again after I am done packing my bag just in case he lashes out at me again so I can just leave quietly without any problems. I walk around the room while looking at the pictures on the shelf. I see a picture of a pretty woman which I quickly recognize as Nick’s mum because of the features, he really looks like his mother a lot and when he said his mum was really beautiful, he wasn’t lying because she is beyond beautiful. I feel so inferior compared to her, and I’m a rare beauty.
I see another picture whose face was turned down and after thinking if I should actually put it up or not, I decide not to open it so he won’t get mad at me again because the last thing I need right now is someone yelling at me because I snooped or crossed my boundary.
I lay his bed and then start to tidy the room when the door pushes open to reveal Nick in his suit. Oh God! I’m deep shit, I just messed up, didn’t I? I didn’t even hear him drive into the compound, or hear him when he entered into the house, and now he has caught me in his room when he clearly told me to stay out of his way, and it was in this room that we had our first fight. How amazing!
I stop what I am doing and stare at him with an awkward smile, and I can feel perspiration gathering on my forehead. He is looking at me with a shocked expression but I don’t blame him because if I get home and then catch a total stranger-even though we aren’t strangers-in my bedroom, I would equally be shocked.
“What are you doing here?” He says and then locks the door. Ummm… Why did he lock his door? It dawns on me that he probably does not even realize he locked the door since he always does that… at least, since we fought, and he’s already probably used to it. He takes off his suit jacket and then drops his brief case on the couch in the room
“I just wanted to clean up for you.” I say, patting the bed.
“I thought I told you not to do anything for me…” He says, his voice getting loud, before he pauses, massaging his temple, “I’m sorry for yelling but Cassy, would you please try to listen to me and stop going against my words?” He says and I nod.
“I will leave, I promise. I just want to do this one last time before I leave you finally and don’t worry, you will be rid of me after tonight.” I say.
“What are you saying? Look, I am tired and I just want to go to bed, so please leave.” He says and I nod, starting to walk towards to door where he is before turning to him abruptly.
“I will leave, but let me just say this one last thing.” I start. “Look, I know you are mad at me because I rejected you and trust me when I say that I regret it. I should have actually told you how I felt about you and I know that’s why I’m suffering for it.” I say.
“Are you going somewhere?” He asks in confusion and I nod.
“Yes, I’m leaving your house tomorrow morning.” I say.
“Why? Just because I asked you to do nothing doesn’t mean I do not want you to stay. Your stay in my house has nothing to do with what is going on.” He says, frowning.
“Yes it does, it has everything to do with it. I think I have over stayed my welcome in your house already and I do not want to make you more uncomfortable than I already do, because I see that my presence irritates you every time and it hurts me to know that I make you feel that way.” I say and he starts to walk close to me but I hold my hand up to stop him from getting any closer.© NôvelDrama.Org - All rights reserved.
“I’m not done talking.” I say. “I know you confessed and you told me how you feel about me or I don’t know if you no longer feel that way, but I was scared because I didn’t know exactly what it was that I was feeling. I didn’t know what love is or how to believe that you love me and also, I didn’t want to tell you that I love you, only to realize that I do not love you.” I say.
“Cassy-” He starts but I nod my head in disapproval, and he keeps quiet.
“Yes, I am an adult but I don’t know how to deal with these feelings of mine. I haven’t fallen in love and I didn’t want to give you my all only for you to just use me and let me go later.” I pause, and then continue unsurely, “I’ve never actually had sex before, because I don’t want to have it with just anyone. And although I told people who asked me that I have, what I meant was that I’ve given guys hand jobs and blow jobs but I’ve never let anyone fuck me or even finger me… except from you.”
Yes! I’m still a virgin and my definition of Sex is giving guys blow Jobs. Yup! Crazy, right?
He is shocked for a while, but then recovers from it. “I would never use you Cassandra. I’m sorry for how I’ve been acting but that was the only way I could deal with your rejection because it was new to me, and I didn’t know how to deal with it.”
“I know, and although it took me your harsh words and several questions, I finally know that I do love you.” I say and smile sadly, knowing I’ll have to leave soon and I’ll never see him again.
“You… you love me.” He stutters.
“Yes Nick, I do love you but I didn’t want to admit it then. I feel so much love for you and it hurts when you tell me to leave you and not care for you, but I understand if you don’t love me anymore and I’m not asking you to love me back after this, neither am I asking you to change your mind about me, but I just had to tell you because if I don’t get this out of my mind today, I don’t think I would be able to leave here in peace.” I say, realizing how much I want to be with him.
“Cassandra-” He starts but I interrupt him.
“Also-” I start but he cut in.
“Cassandra, would you just hold on and listen to me?” He says and I shut my mouth, because I have actually been ranting.
“I’m sorry, but please, one last thing.” I say and then walk close to him before dragging the collar of his shirt. I kiss him on the lips shortly and then let go.
“What was that?” He asks as soon as I let go of him, with a slight smile playing on his face.
“What I should have done since the first day I saw you.” I say with a slight chuckle.
“Then you didn’t do it right. It should be like this.” He says and then pulls me by my waist before slamming his lips on mine.