The Alpha Chose Me

"I'm just having a really tough time right now".

"Baby it's only been three days since-....

"Don't say it". I whispered. "Please don't say it". I was trying my hardest not to cry. The lump was already forming in my throat, the tears filling in my eyes. I know I had a miscarriage; I know I was no longer pregnant, but I wasn't ready to hear those words yet. "Okay, okay". Bringing my hands to his mouth he pressed his lips against my fingers. "Whatever you need, whatever you want just let me know".

I showered and changed into something other than pjs. I cried my heart out, broke down but surprisingly felt better. So much so I wanted to go for breakfast with my friends.

I couldn't keep myself locked away in my room. What good would that do? Isolating myself wasn't going to make anything better. Deep down I knew bottling everything up wasn't the way to deal with this.

I applied some lip gloss to my lips and sprayed a little perfume over my neck. It wasn't a crime to want to look good or make myself feel better. I slipped my arms into my leather jacket and grabbed my black boots from the closet before heading downstairs. Jake didn't know I had changed my mind about going for breakfast. His frown clear he smiled once his eyes reached mine.

"I think I want to go for breakfast". I spoke.

"Do you want me to drive you?". He asked.

I nodded. "I can catch a ride back with Alanna".

"Or I can come pick you up and we can drive to the cabin for the night?".

If none of this happened that's where we would be right now. Enjoying the peace and quiet. Enjoying spending time together but right now I wasn't sure the peace and quiet would do me any good.

I didn't like the downtime because it gave me time to think. It left me alone with my thoughts and my thoughts now were full of guilt.

Anger was still to come. I just wasn't sure when that was going to happen. Or spending time just us was exactly what I needed. Time for us to heal together.

My head was scrambled, I was sick of having these arguments with myself. Instead of thinking about it so much I should just do it.

"Yeah". I smiled. "I'd like that, but can we maybe try and get me a new phone?".

"Your phones in the drawer by the nightstand in our room".

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