Chapter 96: Secret Journal
Chapter 96: Secret Journal
THREE MONTHS LATER
EMMA’s POV :
"Home is where the heart is."
I don’t think there was ever a truer statement.
Standing in my new and empty bedroom, the framed quote was the first thing I put up on the wall.
Boxes and un-built furniture were scattered everywhere, but I looked around the room and felt completely satisfied. Material © NôvelDrama.Org.
Because I am home.
Turning to my side, I started unpacking the box closest to me.
On the side of the cardboard it was labeled, ‘ Emma's old stuff’.
My lips twitched into a smile as soon as I peered inside.
The box contained everything from my younger days.
Everything from my old books, music CDs, photo albums, to my favorite teddy bear Mr.Snuggles.
I reached for Mr.Snuggles and picked him up, but then I noticed a familiar looking pink leather book lying behind him.
A soft smile curved up my lips at the sight of that pink book.
I knew that book like the back of my hand.
I thought I had lost it somewhere, but it was here all along.
I picked up the book and sat back against the wall, making myself comfortable.
With Mr.Snuggles on my lap, I opened the pink book and flipped it to the first page.
This diary belongs to Emma Rose Sinclair.
Happy Birthday Emma, from Emma.
Do not read unless you are Emma! I laughed at my silly old self and flipped it to the next page.
August 24th, 2014.
Dear Diary, Today I did something absolutely crazy.
First of all, you must know that Zach is a total asshole and we hate him for life! He cheated on me with another girl in his college dorm! He had been doing it for a while too, and he blamed me for it, saying that it was because I didn't wanna have sex with him! What an asshole! So, guess what I did? I went ahead and had a one night stand with a random stranger at a bar.
He was absolutely gorgeous.
He had jet black hair and dark brown eyes.
Amazing body covered in tattoos.
And he was older, maybe in his mid twenties? It was so...
crazy! I couldn't believe it myself, but it happened...
We were at the back alley behind the bar.
He pinned me against the wall and he kissed me possessively and so passionately.
No one ever kissed me this like before, not even Zach.
So I kissed him back wantonly, biting on his lower lip, causing him to growl.
Without breaking the kiss, he released my hands, gripped my legs, and he linked them to his waist one by one.
He propped me up so that all my weight was on him.
There was such power in every move he made.
My hands curled to grip his shoulders, feeling his strong, hard body under the thin fabric.
His hand traveled from my thigh to the hem of my dress.
He slid his thumb underneath the fabric as his hand continued moving up.
The feeling of his fingers touching my bare skin lit me on fire.
His thumb stopped when it reached the band of my panties.
My heart had absolutely given up when I felt his fingers cupping my wet area through the laced fabric.
I let out a slow moan in response, completely involuntarily.
"Baby girl, you're so wet,"he murmured to my ears.
I almost lost it when he called me baby girl.
No one had ever called that before and I was loving it.
It was a feeling I had never felt before.
His body was warm against my pounding chest.
His kisses sent tingles up and down my spine.
And before I could process it all, he stuck a finger over my panties, causing me to gasp.
He started stroking my clit his finger and I was whimpering against his touch.
My back arched up so I was exposing more of myself to him.
All the while, he hadn't stopped kissing and sucking on my neck.
I was moaning unintelligible words at this point.
Zach had tried to finger me once before.
It felt weird and awkward.
I didn’t like it, so we stopped.
But this was different.
This guy knew exactly what he was doing and how to control my body.
And before long, he slid another finger in and I was losing my vision.
He started thrusting into me with his two fingers, and I was feeling the bittersweet pain.
Things were going so well and I didn’t want to ruin things by saying I was a virgin.
I had never felt anything like this before, and I never wanted it to stop.
The clenching in my stomach was getting more and more intense with each of his strokes.
He knew it too, and he started moving his fingers with more speed this time, doing this scissor movement thing and it was sending me over the edge.
And just when I thought this couldn't get any better, something exploded in me and my body convulsed in shock.
Diary, I just had my first ever real orgasm! I was still reeling from the high that I felt moments before.
I didn’t even notice that both his hands were now cupping my ass, his nails digging into my skin.
And then I heard the sound of fabric ripping and I felt cold air blew against my butt cheeks.
He had ripped my underwear open and the broken piece of fabric fell graciously on the ground.
And then he took out a condom and he made me open it.
As I was doing it, I saw his erect manhood for the first time, and hot damn! It was sooo big! He closed the distance between us again and I didn’t say a word.
I just stood flushed against the wall, thinking somehow that the stupid wall would protect me.
Smiling that gorgeous smile, he then grabbed my left thigh and lifted it high and open.
I was completely exposed to him once again.
He didn't go in right away, he was taking his sweet time, purposefully teasing and torturing me.
I was a squirming mess as I kept trying to reach for him.
He positioned himself so he would let his tip enter me, but only a little bit, before pulling away.
I was now writhing in agony.
"Please, I want it now,"
I pleaded.
"You're not there yet.It’s gonna hurt you,"
"I don't care, just fuck me,"
And so he did.
He gave me what I asked for.
Without warning, he thrust himself into me all at once.
It was the most painful thing my body had ever endured.
He stopped for a moment to let my body took in his full size, then he pulled out slowly and slammed himself inside me again.
He did it several more times, until there was no sound coming out of my screams.
It was pain and pleasure, all mixed into one.
I couldn't have one without the order.
Our eyes were locked into each other’s as his dark gaze bore deeply into mine.
This was getting too much.
I felt something building up inside of me, demanding a release.
He responded by moving in and out of me vigorously.
The sound of his body smacking against mine filled the air.
His breaths were heavy and coarse.
I couldn't hold it together anymore.
I trashed my head back and my core clenched around him, hard.
"Fuck!"
he grunted through gritted teeth.
And with that, we both came almost at the same time.
My wet core clenched so hard around him, it made his thick cock pulsed in response.
He slammed his whole length into me one last time as he cum.
He stayed inside me for a while as he let out a deep relieved sigh.
When he finally pulled away, he gave me the widest, sexiest grin I had ever saw, feeling absolutely satisfied.
It was the craziest night of my life, diary.
Even though I was absolutely heartbroken at what Zach had done to me, I was glad that at least I lost my virginity to someone else and not to him.
Mr.random stranger, whoever you are, thank you for that night.
Though we might never meet again, I hope the experience was just as good for you as it was for me.
September 3rd, 2014.
Dear Diary, Holy freaking shit, diary! I saw the Bar Guy again in the flesh, and you'll never guess where...
He was at my school! At my freaking school, in my art classroom, he was my teacher! I can’t believe this diary.
My life must be some kind of dark comedy series or something, because this can’t be real! It can’t! But it is...and I'll have to see him again tomorrow...and call him, Mr.Hayes.
This was intense.
I had to put the book down for a few minutes to catch my breath.
Memories began to wash over me, and they were as strong and as vivid as ever.
That was six years ago.
I was sixteen.
I was such a kid.
I flipped the pages around randomly and stopped at one that was a bit crinkled.
The pages looked as if it was drenched in droplets of water and it had dried out.
February 13th, 2016 Dear Diary, Help me, diary.
I don’t know what to do.I just told lan that I'm pregnant and his reaction was...
"Fuck!"
he growled, "How did this happen?!"
"I messed up...I forgot to take the pill..."I said in between sobs.
"Fuck!"he backed away from me and raked his hair in frustration.
His breaths became labored and he had one hand rubbing his temple.
"How far along are you?"he said slowly.
"Maybe four weeks give or take, the doctor won't know for sure unless I take more tests,"
"The doctor?"
"I took a pregnancy test earlier and it came back positive.So, I went to the clinic just to make sure.I was there just now and I came right over,"I explained.
I was trying to search his eyes to get a reaction, but he kept his gaze down, avoiding eye contact with me.
"Shit, Emma!" he muttered, and suddenly his fist curled into a ball and he punched the wall next to him, yelling aa fag im bet "Fuck!"
I had never seen him so angry before in my life.
He was punching the wall so hard, blood ran down his knuckles.
I was genuinely scared of him, but I tried my best to calm him down.
But no matter what I said to him, he was convinced of the ultimate result.
"We're not gonna have a fucking baby, that’s for sure,"he scoffed.
"Why not...?"
"Because you're fucking seventeen and you're going to college.And I'm still your fucking teacher!"
he cursed and pushed my hand away, leaving me again.
He didn’t want anything to do with this baby, diary.
This little thing inside me.
He hates it.
He wants it gone.
So I’m gonna have to get rid of it, tomorrow.
On one hand, I know where he’s coming from.
This baby's gonna cause us a whole lot of trouble.
But on the other hand...it’s our baby.
Help me, diary.
What should I do? Tears welled up in my eyes as I remembered this moment.
One of the lowest points, if not the lowest point of my life.
I put the book down as I couldn't continue reading anymore.
The memory of this day was too much for me to handle.
But as much as I wanted to look away, I knew I had to keep reading.
The story wasn't over yet.
So I picked the book back up again and flipped it several pages later…