Taming Mr. CEO

All I thought was that after running away that morning of realization my life will back to normal. That even though I recently came from a heartbreak, at least that was the only problem I should get rid of. But I was wrong … it went out that I am completely wrong. Thinking that after the mistake I have done, there will be no problem ahead of me the following days is foolish.

I still remember how Helena stared at my belly while we are in the cafe, the day I confessed to her what happened to me. At first, I am literally clueless about the meaning behind her malicious stare but one morning, I started to feel different. It started from puking up every morning and then followed by my sensitivity to taste and smells. That every time I smell food-a cheese to be exact-I will push myself to the nearest sink or comfort room and then will puke so hard. In addition to those weird things that suddenly happened to me, I also felt drowsiness and it seems like I was too tired for every day.

My first assumption is that I am only stressed or have eaten spoiled foods but while at work, I lost my consciousness because of dizziness. Helena to the rescue insisted to bring me to the hospital so I could have a check-up after I gained back my sense. Worries also creeping on my system, I decided to take her advice. I seek a doctor’s appointment on the following day. And on the same day, my world changed.

“Congratulation, you are three weeks pregnant,” the doctor announced with a bright smile plastered on her lips.

It caught me off-guard. It feels like my heart suddenly stopped beating. Because of that shocking announcement, my world seems stopped from rotating. My mind can’t function well for an instant. All I can process in my mind is that I went out of that hospital clouded by different emotions. I don’t know how to react. I don’t know what should I feel. Should I be happy because there is an innocent life inside me or should I fear that life? I literally don’t know… I was lost.

I remember that I cried when the night came. I locked myself to my room, crying all day and night. My tears seem unstoppable even I wiped them out many times. All I want is to cry, to cry my heart out. For what specific reason? I also don’t know.

Frustrated. I felt frustrated for what I have done on that night. I keep on blaming myself for the stupidest action that changed my life. I am not into alcohol and yet, I drunk my ass off like I am a veteran drinker.

Fear. I am afraid not for myself but also for the life inside my tummy. I didn’t graduate college and just depends on my work as a waitress. That was my living and even though I am alone, I can’t still provide a better life for myself. The expenses are too harsh, my budget is too tight. How much more if there will be a child I am going to raise? I don’t know how to support her. How can I even sustain her life when it was already difficult for me to sustain my own life.

And then there’s one solution that came to me. I planned to get rid of my own child. I know it was wrong but during that time, there were no choices left to me. I felt hopeless. I felt so empty and getting rid of her is the best solution I have thought of so she won’t be going to experience the harsh reality of life.

Before the day of finally getting rid of my child, I cried again for the last time while caressing my tummy. Talking to the innocent life inside it, saying nonstop sorry for what I am going to do to her the following day. It was hard. I mean, yeah, I choose to get rid of her but it doesn’t mean that I am not hurt. God knows how pain struck me so hard. Crying like a baby in my bed. Hugging myself while uttering “sorry” to my unborn child is the image of the past.

The next morning, I didn’t cry. The puffy eyes of mine are enough to tell how I cried blood last night and only the darkness is the witness to my breakdown. After preparing myself for the abortion, Helena rushed herself into my apartment. She was worried sick about my absence that’s why she came to my place. Actually, I didn’t inform her about my plan but that morning, I decided to tell her.

Up until now, her hand on my cheek when she slapped me so hard is still fresh in my memory. It was restored to me. Because of that slap, I woke up from the evilness I was about to do.

“Are you awake now, Alice?” she asked in mockery. O didn’t reply. I remained speechless. My sniffs are all I can hear. Sniffs that turns into cries while I was clutching on my chest.

“As far as I remember, you are wise enough to know what is wrong, Alice. For heaven’s sake! You are not a murderer! Why are you going to kill that baby, huh?! Just because you are afraid, just because you don’t know what to do this is your solution now? Wake up, Alice… wake up!” I stumbled on the floor, shame is on me.

Yes, Helena was right. I am wise enough to know what is wrong but still, I choose to do the wrong. What a shame!

“You will keep the child no matter what happens, Alice. You will keep her and together, we will raise her. You as her mommy and me, as her Mama Helena.”

And that is where it all started. After waking up from my foolishness, Helena stayed on my side. Helping me with her open arms. Not just for me but my child as well.

“When I said push, push!” The doctor count one up to three and when she shouted push, I pushed.

Pain during my labor was complete hell for me and it was brought to the next level when I am in the delivery room. Alone while the doctor is cheering and praying for my successful delivery.

After nine hours of labor and two hours in the delivery room, I won over the hard challenge of giving birth. Those cries from my baby didn’t escape my sense of hearing before I passed out. When I woke up, I was already inside a hospital room. My body felt so weak and I barely move but when Helena stepped inside my room followed by a nurse who’s carrying my baby, the tiredness and soreness faded away. Those hours in hell is worth it when I first laid my eyes on my child. The child I once want to get rid of.

“Congratulation, she’s a healthy baby girl!”

I couldn’t contain myself anymore so as the nurse exited, I burst out crying while kissing my child’s soft cheeks.

“Aisle… my baby Aisle,” I uttered while sniffing her.

“Is that her name? Aisle?” Helena asked so I nodded. “Let’s add another name, Alice,” she insisted.

I know that Aisle is way too short that’s why I agreed on adding her name until we both came into one name…

“Aisle Bellinda Del Angelo.”

My child with the stranger I slept with… a year ago.

***

“Hey, Alice! I am talking to you.” I blinked a couple of times before coming back from my reverie. My eyes first landed on Coreen, leaning in my table with her brows knotted.

“Are you talking to me?” I asked, clueless.

She smirked. “Naah,” she curtly answered but with a hint of mockery in her voice. “Of course, I am talking to you. I’ve been standing here but you are so dumbfounded ever since you came out from the boss’ office.”

I bit the bottom of my lips, scratching my left brow. “Uh, sorry…what is it again? Do you need anything?”

“I need the report I asked you to keep last time. Where is it now? The new head of finance needs it right away.” I didn’t waste time. I tugged out the folder containing the report she’s talking about from my shelf. And then I faced her again.

“Here. Sorry for the delay,” I apologized before she walked out.

As soon as Coreen was out of my sight, I heaved a deep sigh. Resting my head on my palms as I stared at my boss’ office.

What should I do now? The CEO is replacing by his son who happens to be my daughter’s father. My God! Why on earth this is happening to me… I don’t know what to do! Should I tell him about our child or not? But on my second thought, why I am worrying too much when it seems like he didn’t recognize me?

Instead of being paranoid about the recent surprise in my life, I focused on my monitor. Finishing those tasks that are still untouched just to stop my mind from thinking of that man. When I felt tired, I stretched out my limbs. Leaning on my swivel chair while my eyes shut closed. I am even yawning but immediately get stopped when I suddenly heard a man’s cough. Mr. William appeared in front of me which sent me into shame. I hastily stood up causing him to slightly chuckled. I smiled shyly at him before asking, “What can I do for you, Sir?” I bit the inside of my lips.

He fixed his not-crooked tie. “My son is inside my office and asking for the latest reports as well as my upcoming schedules. Can you give it to him, Alice? I am a bit in a hurry.” he said before leaving me.

I wanted to shout in protest but I just can’t do that unless I want to lose my job. Letting a deep sigh, I stared in disbelief at the boss’ office. It took me how many minutes before I finally have the guts to walk through the office. And as I walked, all I can hear was the heartbeats coming from me, covering the sound coming from my heels. I gulped hard when I reached the doorknob and twisted it to open. I was silently cursing continuously and when the door clicked open, I caught my breath.

“Put it on my table and leave fast,” he commanded in a hard tome without even facing me. I rolled my eyes but cheered at the same time. At least on his way like that, I wasn’t able to meet his blazing orbs that gave me chills without even doing anything.

Just like what he has said, I put the folder on his table and leave the lion’s territory as soon as possible. I clutched on my chest as I finally let out the breath I didn’t notice I am holding earlier.

“Calm down for goddamn sake, Alice!” I scolded myself silently before walking back to my table.

After office hours, I hurriedly drive home. Up until now, I can’t move on from what happened to me to this day. First, I came to the office late that perhaps disappointed my boss, Mr. William. Second, he dropped the bomb that has a connection to my past. And lastly, sooner or later, whether I like it or not, I will be working for my daughter’s father. My God! I think my brain will explode from different thoughts filling my mind.

“Welcome home, Mommy!” I kneeled as soon as I stepped inside my unit to hug my four years old daughter who is hurriedly running towards me.

I catch her with my open arms and planted a kiss on her temple. “How was my baby, huh? Does your tooth still aching?” I asked afterward. Aisle pulled out from our hugs

“I am okay now, Mommy.” She paused, showing her teeth on me. ” The doctor healed my toothache, Mommy. At first, I am afraid because of the needle but just like what you always remind me of, I should have been brave. I didn’t cry. I’m a big girl!” she added, proudly.

I was about to answer her when Helena came out from the kitchen with an apron laced around her not-so-thin waist. “Our daughter is such a brave girl, Alice. I bet she will grow up like you someday. By the way, change your clothes now. Aisle and I are preparing the table for our dinner.” Aisle run towards Helena.

Before they went back to the kitchen, Helena then looked at me again. “Is it okay if I stayed here for a night, Alice?” she asked.

I simply nodded. “Yeah, sure. You are on time anyway. I wanted to tell you something, badly.”

Her brow rose then stared at me skeptically for a short span. “I smell something fishy, Alice,” she chimed.

“Uhuh! Really fishy as I caught a big fish earlier,” I joked before stepping inside my room.

I took a bath first before going to the kitchen to join Helena and Aisle on the dinner. I wore my night sleep pajamas and blow dry my hair and headed outside. In the kitchen, I saw Aisle who is helping her Mama Helena with preparing the table. That made me stop and lean on the door frame with my hands crossed around my breast. Then suddenly, as I watched my daughter genuinely happy about what she is doing, my boss’ son flashes through my mind.

His exact face that looks like my daughter… our daughter. How is he going to react if times have come that I introduce Aisle to him? Will he accept my daughter? Will he accept Aisle as his child? Or he will not? Will he break my daughter’s heart as he broke mine too knowing that my child’s father can’t accept her?

I hope he will… I really hope that perhaps, he will accept his child. That he will acknowledge Aisle as part of him.

“Mommy, why are you staring at us? Come on, join us here!” I was dragged back to my senses when Aisle pulled my hand, pulling me towards the dinner table where dishes they prepared are located. When I glanced at Helena, she is looking at me with her you’ve-got-something-to-tell-me look.

I chuckled inside. Of course, I really need to tell her about my child’s father. I can’t bear it alone so I really need to share it with her.

I pulled for my seat after I settled Aisle on her seat beside me.

“Let’s eat! Baby Aisle, show your Mom how good chef you are,” Helena broke the short silence engulfing the scene.

“Yes, Mama Helena!” Aisle giggled before putting a slice of tuna on my plate. “Taste it, Mommy. I help Mama Helena on cooking that one,” she paused, “it is a bit different from the rest because I am the one who tried to cook that,” she shyly added.

I felt being touched on the warmest way as I heard her. Aisle, compared to those kids on her age is different. At her age, some kids are quiet, they are not into socializing while Aisle, she’s the opposite of those kids. I could still remember how she uttered her first word. It was ‘mommy’… during her one-year-old, she called me Mommy which brings me into tears.

“So, what is it, Alice? Shoot it.” I glanced at Helena while am leaning on the couch with Aisle on my lap-sleeping.

I took a deep breath, summoning my courage to tell her about my boss’ son. “I saw him…” I trailed, locking my eyes on Aisle.

“You saw who?” Helena asked, confused.

“I saw that man again, Helena. After several years, I saw him again and I don’t know what to do.”This content © Nôv/elDr(a)m/a.Org.

“You mean… you saw Axel again? You saw him again?” I leered at her.

“Silly,” I hissed. “He is not who I am talking about. You know that Axel is already living with his wife in States so how the hell our world will cross again?” I added, still leering at her.

Helena groaned. “He can come here anytime he wants, duh! But going back to our topic. Who are you talking about? Is he one of your ex–”

“Aisle’s father,” I flatly cut her off that made her eyes popped out.

“You got to be kidding me.”

I rolled my eyes. “I hope I am,” I replied, sighing.