Chapter 17
Chapter 17 : Try and Try Again
**Rosalie’s POV
After the night I spent with Ethan, I had expected to see him again, but I didn’t.
He never once came to visit. There was no compassion, no concern, no want or desire from him.
I was nothing more than a task – a tool he needed.
I was sure how I was going to be able to get past all the waiting, but, eventually, I found small ways to entertain myself. Art had become a big one, and when Vicky realized I loved to paint and draw, she made sure I had everything set up in my own private art studio — considering the music room was off limits for the time being.
Days turned into weeks, and, before I knew it, I began to lose track of time.
The vast green fields around the Drogomor pack were beautiful. The peaceful village could be seen from the pack house, and the golden sunshine made everything seem upbeat and hopeful.
I loved to draw the sunny sky the most — it reminded me of his clear blue eyes.
A soft knocking at the door to the art room had me turning my head to see who was there. To my surprise, Estrella stood in the doorway, smiling at me.
“Hello, Estrella...” I smiled back as I set my paint brush down. “Is everything okay?”
“Yes. I was just wondering if you would like to take a trip with me to the clinic.”
For a moment I was confused as to why I would need to go, and then as the realization hit me. I nodded. “Of course. Is Talon coming?”
“He is going to meet us there. He needs to take care of something first and asked me to come get you and start.”
Estrella was as kind as always, but I was a bit scared.
What would happen if I wasn’t pregnant?
My hand instinctively went to my stomach. Please… goddess, let me be carrying his child!
Not just because of the thought of what Ethan would do if I wasn’t, but also because, deep down, a part of me wanted to be...
I didn’t know when it had started, the idea that a small little life was growing within me filled my heart with happiness.
To Ethan, to the pack, I was fulfilling my duty; but as the days went by, it felt less and less like a job for me.
I wanted to be pregnant!
I wanted to carry his child – my child.
Moving from my seat, I joined Estrella, and we headed down the hall towards the pack clinic.
As we stepped through the clinic doors, my eyes stayed cast to the floor. The soft click of a knob, and Estrella was ushering me into an empty patient room.
The white paper of the exam table felt uncomfortable against my legs. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but when she pulled out a needle, my eyes widened.
“We have to do a blood test, sweetie. It’s more effective than a normal pregnancy test.”
She must have seen the concern in my eyes by her response, and when she explained, I relaxed a little and allowed her to do what she needed to do.
I was only a short while away from finding out if a life was growing within me. Deep breathing! Belongs to © n0velDrama.Org.
Please be positive, please be positive!
As Estrella withdrew the needle and filled a small tube with the blood she collected, I sat back with a small smile, thinking about what the next few months would entail with me being pregnant. How I would feel the small child growing within me – every little kick and movement.
A short, blonde-haired woman knocked on the door, pulling me from my thoughts. I watched as Estrella handed her the sample and then she quietly left.
The worry over the results made me more unsure than anything. I couldn’t stop going over scenarios in my mind as to what would happen if I wasn’t pregnant, and what would happen if I was.
Stop being so negative, Rosalie, I thought. Everything was going to be okay.
“So, Rosalie,” Estrella finally said, turning to face me with a smile, “How have you been feeling?”
“I’m okay, I guess.” My response came out softer and flatter than I had meant it to, and she seemed to notice. “Just trying to keep busy.”
“What’s wrong? Are you not feeling well…?”
Quickly, I shook my head. “No, it isn’t that.”
“Well, what’s wrong?” She asked again. “I am your doctor, and if something’s wrong, I need to know.”
I hesitated, scared and unsure. I didn’t want to cause trouble by complaining.
“I just..” I paused for a moment. “I miss going outside… to the village.”
As soon as I spoke, the door opened, and Talon walked in. He was gentleman-like as usual — polite, distant but safe to be around.
Had he heard what I said? I didn’t want to be a burden by complaining, and I didn’t want Ethan to get angry because of it.
“You haven’t been outside?” Estrella asked confusedly before turning to Talon. “Why hasn’t she been outside?”
Talon was silent for a moment, looking between the two of us. “The Alpha doesn’t want her to leave the house. He wants her close. I’m just following orders.”
“She has to get fresh air and sun. It’s important for her health.”
I heard the disapproval in Estrella’s voice, and I clenched my fists nervously. I hadn’t meant for this to be a big deal, and now I was filled with regret for bringing it up.
Talon sighed, nodding his head. “I will let the Alpha know.”
I quickly sputtered, “I don’t want to bother him. It’s okay. I will just open the windows like I usually do.”
I didn’t want Ethan to find out that I was complaining — to give him a reason to be upset with me.
“No, Rosalie,” Estrella said. “You need to go outside and get some fresh air every day.”
“Please — It’s okay. Please don’t say anything to him,” I stammered out again. I was pleading with her to let the matter go.
Having Ethan upset at me because I disagreed with his orders was not something I wanted to experience.
“Very well...”
There was a knock at the door. The blonde-haired woman came in and handed Estrella a piece of paper before exiting again.
All three of us went silent.
I never knew that my heart could flutter the way it did in that moment.
I watched as Estrella looked over the paper. Her brow furrowed, and she sighed before looking up at me. I knew without words what the results were —
“So, no pregnancy yet.”
Estrella was officially informing Talon.
Instantly, a part of me ached for the loss of something I never held. I didn’t know whether I was more disappointed at the situation or at myself.
I felt like a failure. I didn’t conceive…was there something wrong with me? What if I couldn’t have kids at all?
The thought filled me with fear. What was going to happen? Would the Alpha ever look at me again…? He had already given me a second chance. What would happen to me… and my pack?
The thoughts swirled around me, making me dizzy. I couldn’t control the panic that flooded me, and as it did, my breathing became heavier, and I became more lightheaded. My hands instinctively reached out to grab the table beneath me as the tears pricked my eyes.
Estrella noticed my reaction and rushed over immediately. “Rosalie, it’s okay. Deep breaths… In through your nose, and out through your mouth…”
“Miss Rosalie?” Talon asked in a concerned voice, stepping closer. Estrella ignored him, not taking her eyes off me.
As the tears began to flow down my cheeks, I was completely ashamed of myself.
I hadn’t been able to do the one thing I was bought to do. I tried everything I could, and I thought I was ready, but I didn’t give him the child he wanted.
For weeks, I had imagined being a mother. I had grown to like the idea of giving life to a child. And now it was gone.
“Rosalie, sweetie…” Estrella softly wrapped her arms around me. “It’s okay... It will happen when it’s meant to.”
Once I started to calm down slowly, Talon spoke. “What do we do next, Estrella?”
“Well, it may take a few times, but we should be able to analyze when her fertility is highest and pinpoint when the best time is for her to conceive.”
Estrella sounded confident in her statement, but it didn’t make me feel better.
My eyes widened.
A few times…did I hear her wrong? Did she mean…?
She pulled back, smiling at me, grabbing a paper cup and filling it with water before handing it to me.
“We will get her set up, and she and Ethan will have to try again.”
I would sleep with him again?!