SILENT DESIRES

The flight and subsequent transportation to the villa on the beach was seamless. Matt had changed his mind about going back to the paradise villa as he didn’t want his mom or Enzo showing up again and upsetting Savannah so they had gone to moon island instead, the place where David and Emily had gotten married.

Matt had ensured that Savannah was given every consideration. She was endlessly pampered and waited on and when they arrived on the island, they were greeted not only by the physician who would be monitoring her care, but a personal nurse who would reside at the villa with her and Matt.

When Savannah got her first look at the sprawling villa, it took her breath away. They drove through a gate and down a winding driveway that was lined with lush, gorgeous flowers. Just for a moment the driveway paralleled the beach before it ended in front of the main house.

The house couldn’t be more than a few steps from the beach. The idea that she could walk out the back door and be on the sand sent excitement coursing through her veins.

Matt insisted on carrying her inside. He cradled her close as he walked through the front door and she craned her neck to take in the interior.

Instead of showing her around, he took her to the glass doors that led to the wraparound porch in the back. As she had suspected, there were only three stones marking the very short pathway from the porch to the sand.

As soon as she stepped onto the porch, the breeze from the water ruffled her hair. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, savoring the tang of the salt and the lush, warm air that surrounded them.

“It’s beautiful,” she breathed.

He smiled. “I’m glad you approve-because it’s yours.”

She went still in his arms and locked her gaze with his. For a long moment she was too stunned to find her voice. When she finally did, it came out as a croak. “I don’t understand.”

He eased her down onto the steps leading to the sand. Then he sat beside her as they stared over the shimmering blue of the water.

“I bought it for you. For us. This is your house.” he said.

She was at a complete loss for words. The numbness that she’d worn for so long was melting away. It was as if the warmth of the sun was thawing the ice and with it, brought new awareness. She saw things more clearly. She saw Matt. She saw him making a huge effort to make her happy. To take care of her. Hope began to beat inside her chest, but she pushed it back, afraid to give it free rein. She didn’t dare make assumptions.

“But Matt, you seem to be doing and giving up so much for me. What about your family? You can’t just change everything about your life because of me.”

“Can’t I?” he challenged.

He picked up her hand and laced his fingers through hers. “There’s a lot you don’t know, Savvie. I didn’t want you to know at the time. You were dealing with enough stress in the hospital. I’ve cut my brother and my mother out of my life. Out of our lives.”

“Oh, Matt.” Tears swam in her eyes. No matter how much she despised them, she had never wanted this for him.

He wiped a tear away with his thumb. “Don’t you dare shed a tear for them or for me. They aren’t worth your tears. I don’t regret what I’ve done. I only regret that I allowed them to hurt you and that I never saw what they were doing to you.”

“But you wouldn’t have done it if it weren’t for me,” she said painfully. “They’re your family, Matt. Maybe you’re angry with them now, but what about a year from now? Or five years from now? At what point will you resent me for being the wedge between you?”

“You aren’t responsible for their actions,” he said fiercely. “You didn’t do this. They did. No one else. I hate them for what they did. They are beyond despicable. They don’t deserve your consideration. They don’t deserve mine. I don’t want you exposed to that kind of poison anymore. It was my decision, Savvie. Do you honestly think I would allow them in any part of our lives after what they did to you?”

Tears slid down her cheeks. This hadn’t been her goal. No matter how much she wanted to never be around them again, the last thing she wanted was to cause Matt pain.

“Let’s not talk about them,” he said quietly.

“They’re no longer an issue. What I want to talk about is us. Can you ever forgive me, Savvie? Can you possibly love me again?

He rose from his perch beside her and went down the two steps to the beach below her. Then he slowly slid to his knees in front of her and reached for her hands.Upstodatee from Novel(D)ra/m/a.O(r)g

“You once got on your knees and begged me to believe you. You begged me not to turn my back on you. It’s my turn to beg, Savannah. I don’t deserve your forgiveness. I wouldn’t blame you if you never forgave me. But I’m begging all the same. I love you.

I want us to have a life together. Here. On the island. Away from all the unhappiness of the past.”

“You want us to stay here?” she whispered.

He nodded even as his hands trembled around hers. “I bought the house. I want us to start over, really start over this time. I’m begging you for that chance. Give me the chance to make you love me again.”

Her heart twisted and the mind-numbing grief that had sweltered so long in her soul silently slipped away, leaving renewed hope-and love-shining in its stead. This time she didn’t try to squash the hope. She let it fly.

She reached for him, framing his face, stunned to feel the shock of tears on his cheeks. His eyes were tormented and there was desperation-fear-in his gaze, but there was also hope.

“I love you so very much,” she said brokenly. “I’ve spent so long being angry, telling myself I hate you. The anger took over until I was miserable with it. It’s been a constant weight pressing down on me. It’s poison and I can’t live this way anymore. I don’t want to live this way anymore.”

He closed his eyes and when he reopened them there was such relief and such vulnerability that she knew without a doubt that she’d made the right choice.

“If you can forgive all the hurtful, hateful things I’ve said to you then I can forgive you for not trusting me.” She said,

“Oh, God, Savvie,” he said in a wretched, pained voice. “I deserved everything you’ve said and more. What I did to you was unforgivable. How can you forgive me when I can’t forgive myself?”