Chapter-69. Dark Room
[Asher]
Why did I bring you here, Xanthea?
Out of all the beautiful places I could have taken you, why did I bring you into this darkness?
Is it because no one in all the three realms knows of this place-not my family, not even Raven and Ezra?Copyright by Nôv/elDrama.Org.
Or is it because I wanted you to know this place? But why?
You make me question Xanthea. You make me question myself, but you leave me with no answers because my mind can no longer comprehend my actions and the reasons behind them. And to ask you directly is not even an option. One question will lead to another and another. And I have only limited answers. I do not know how much of myself I should reveal to you. How much of me would you be interested to know about? Or if you would be interested at all? I don't know how you'll see me beyond the facade I put before you, for there is a darkness in my soul blacker than the one that fills this room. Like a rotten apple, corroded at its core, I keep polishing my outer cover, keeping it shiny and desirable. But beyond it, there's nothing to be desired.
I never had a problem sharing anything with my brothers. But you, Xanthea. You.
I want to keep you all for myself.
I need something from you, expect something from you. What? I can't tell, but it's something only you can give me.
And that is why I can't be with you the way I have been with everyone else all my life, from my family to my peers.
I want to show you the real me, but I am not sure if you'd like what you see.
If I shed my masks before you, would you stay by my side? Would you look for me in my hollowness, the way you are looking for me in this dark room? Or would you want to escape?
***
Before teleporting, Icifer wanted to take Xanthea somewhere private. Somewhere it would be just the two of us and nobody else. I still can't believe this was the first place that came to my mind, almost as if it had been planted there by
someone.
My wolf, my mind, and my body have been acting unexpectedly and uncontrollably when it comes to her. Even so, I found myself humbly surprised tonight.
Even though she was my mate, there was no reason for me to bring her to a place this deeply personal to me. So personal, I never wanted to share it with anyone.
Maybe I was here because Icifer didn't want to share Xanthea with anyone, either.
Xanthea stretched out her hands. Her eyes opened wide as she tried to grope her way through the nothingness of this room. She was breathing heavily, as though the bitter air of this room strangled her.
She strained her eyes, trying to see through the dense darkness that hung heavy around her. A darkness so dense it seemed to have materialized, tightening around her like a shroud.
Although I highly doubted she'd be able to figure out where we were, she wouldn't be able to see a thing in here, anyway.
This room had a touch of cold and stale death, especially designed to impair all the senses of whoever was in here. Especially sight, hearing, taste, smell and touch.
I don't know how she would perceive this place, but a few hours of isolation in this place was enough for an immortal with a powerful wolf's spirit to lose their mind.
From their hearing to their wolf's senses, would be highly impaired. Things like disturbing hallucinations, hearing voices, reliving one's darkest traumas were common symptoms. This place brought to reality one's deepest emotions, fears and memories through the illusion of one's bewildered mind.
And I could see Xanthea already struggling with them as she crumbled to the floor, her eyes wide with horror.
I wonder what she was hallucinating about?
"Please don't. Please don't lock me here again. It's too dark. I promise I'll be on my suppressants all the time. I am sorry! I-I shouldn't have wanted it. I shouldn't have craved it, enjoyed it! Luna! Luna Meesa! Please don't leave me here! I don't want to be alone! It's scary..." she cried, impatiently hitting the air as though she were banging on a door.
She stopped banging as though someone had opened the invisible door.
"No... No! NO! I am not dirty! I am not a slut! Open the door! Get me out! Get me out of here!" she broke into sobs, shutting her ears as though she was hearing too many voices, catcalling her at the same time. 'Asher! She's gonna lose her mind! Take her out of here!' Icifer growled.
I contemplated her stoically.
Icifer was my wolf, but recently he had been more hers than mine.
Xanthea looked around frantically, her breaths turning into desperate gasps. She shook her head. Disturbed, she clenched her hair into her fists, shaking her head.
'Fucking stop it! You are hurting her!' She went through a little pain and Icifer turned feral.
I kept peering at her, replying to all of Icifer's restlessness with my silence as I observed Xanthea closely.
"This is not real..." she mumbled to herself, tears streaming down her face. "It can't be real. Not again. I can't be back at the Virgo palace. I can't return to that life. No. No. No. This makes no sense." She scrubbed off the tears from her cheeks, fighting through the illusions of her mind.
"They can't control me! I won't let them! Ezra..."
She clenched her chest, shutting her eyes as she chanted Ezra's name, as though it were a source of strength for her.
That didn't make much difference to me, but it seemed to have pissed Icifer off.
Clenching her belly, she curled up her knees closer to her chest. The jitter in her body went to an absolute standstill.
'Let me go close to her. I'll take her out of here,' Icifer said, restlessly.
I narrowed my eyes. She was mumbling something to herself again.
'Just watch,' I thought to him calmly.
"I am hallucinating. This has to be an illusion of my mind. There's nothing to fear. I was with Asher..."
Inch by inch, she crawled on the floor until her fingers brushed against the wall. She banged on the wall as though she hoped there was someone beyond those walls to hear her plea. But there was no one far and wide.
"Mother always said it's not the darkness, but the unknown we fear. If I can't see, I'll imagine something familiar, something known, something peaceful. I won't be trapped again. Not even in my own mind! Never again!" She sounded like she was challenging the darkness.
Her eyes glared through the dark, pulling away the web of fear that messed up her mind. Her heart raced, her breaths ragged with determination as she scrambled to her feet.
She got up with the support of the wall. Crouching low, feeling the wall and floor with her hands and legs alternatively, she began trudging. Her hands were shaking, but not from fear, but the adrenaline rush. I could sense it in the way her scent grew stronger.
That was unexpected.
I cocked a brow when her fingers glided against the wall, gently tracing the ridges and grooves, the texture and patterns of the wall. She was looking for a door.
'Doesn't look like your mate is losing her mind anytime soon, Icifer,' I said. 'She is adapting. Trying to find a way even though it's futile because there is no door in this room or a window or ventilation. It is just a big box, holding the world's most malignant darkness.'
I peered at her blankly.
"Asher? Are you here? This is a game, right? You want me to find you?" Her voice was shaky and uncertain.
I widened my eyes slightly.
Instead of succumbing to the darkness' illusions, she created a counter reality. She imagined a scenario where this was all a game I planned.
I shut my eyes, letting out a subtle breath.
Well done. The known she created in this unknown darkness made sense, given the circumstance she was in. Most viable option. Considering it was her first time in this room, she was doing pretty well. My eyes relaxed, and I felt Icifer smirk.
'Still think she hasn't improved?' Icifer asked, his voice charged with pride for his mate.
'Yes. She still hasn't improved because she has always been mentally strong from the moment I first saw her, when she picked herself up after the car accident. But I can't deny, I am impressed,' I thought to Icifer. So fucking impressed, I felt a burning excitement pulse through my cock.
I walked closer to her and stood right behind her.
"I should have found you sooner..." I whispered.
Xanthea looked around frantically, trying to figure out from which direction my voice was coming from, but she couldn't.
"A-Asher?" she ran her hands through the air.
"I'll speak twice more. Find me before then, and you win," I said.
Leaving the wall, she froze, comprehending what I said. And when she did, she let out a sigh of relief with a subtle whimper. Sniffling, she nodded.
"I knew you were here. I knew t-this had to be a g-game-"
"It indeed is. Don't be scared, wife." I said.
"I am not scared," she smiled, wiping off her tears, stepping away from where I stood. "I am with you."
I lowered my eyes, licking my lips.
"This is the last time I will talk to you in this room. You'll have to figure out where I am," I said, taking a deep breath.
"What if I can't find you?" she blurted out, hoping I'd speak again.
Very smart, but these tricks won't work on me and maybe she understood that as well.
She stopped trying to reach me. Standing in her place, she shut her eyes. Although calmer than before, she had lost her sense of direction towards me.
"It feels like you are everywhere in this darkness," she said. "Senses don't seem to work normally here. From your voice, it seems as though you are standing at some distance but..."
She turned around in her place. Her eyes hovering in the air around me. She couldn't see it, but she was standing face to face with me.
"... but you were right behind me all this time, weren't you?"
"How did you... sense that?" I asked, stepping closer to her.
"I don't know. It came from deep within me. I just knew you were close because with you, everything feels... different. Even fear," she said.
"You never fail to amaze me, wife..."
I stepped closer to her.
"And trust me with you, everything feels different for me as well..." I said, intertwining my fingers with her fragile fingers that hovered in the darkness, trying to find me, feel me.
00000
She stumbled against my body as I pulled her in, wrapping my arms around her waist.
Her heated shaking palms pressed against my chest. The fever of her body transferred into mine. The breaths escaping her lips turned even more tempting, trapping all my senses into a lust darker than this blinding darkness. And all I could think of was stealing those breaths right off her lips.
"Asher..." she whispered, and my heart kicked up a few beats.
"Yes, wife?"
Holding back tears, her eyes tried to look for my gaze in vain.
Her chest heaved faster, her breaths desperate and stalled.
She looked scared and relieved at the same time. Scared of the darkness, relieved that I was there with her, sharing the emptiness like couples shared a passionate kiss.
The darkness wasn't so bad when we faced it together and even though all of this was unplanned; I realized how badly I needed her in my darkness. But maybe she'll never know.
I gently placed my hand on her hips, caressing her soft skin.
I shut my eyes, leaning closer to her neck, inhaling her delicious scent. Her warm fingers trailed up my chest to my throat. Feeling my lips, she rose her tiptoes, arching her body against mine.
I could feel her hard nipples brush against my skin through the fabric of my shirt.
I knew her taste, yet I was already starving. It was like an unhealthy addiction because every time we touched; I felt something. I couldn't really decipher what I felt, but that just gave me even more reasons to ravage her.
She kept peering at the veil of darkness between us.
She was breathing heavily through her mouth and I just knew she craved me just as much. But as I leaned in to claim her lips, she withdrew herself from me. But every time I tried to initiate a kiss, she would either look away or dodge my lips. Her body rubbed against my erection seductively as she struggled to avoid my kisses and I wondered how she was even sensing my lips. She clearly couldn't see me. Maybe she kept track of my breaths.
'You shouldn't forget... you are not dealing with an average mind...' Icifer chuckled, enjoying whatever was going on between her and me.
She gasped sharply as I fisted her hair and tugged her face close to mine.
"Don't test my patience, Xanthea," I warned her.
"I play a little game and you lose your patience. Why? You can have fun only in your games? Not mine? It's fun for me to see you work for it. Like it must have been fun for you... seeing me lose my fucking mind!" she hissed against my lips through her gritted teeth. "I hope you enjoyed the show, Alpha."
Fuck! I clenched my jaws.
'Damn!' Icifer's soul burnt with a whole exhilarating life and I could feel its impact in the blood rushing through my veins, especially in the torturous impatient throb in my pants.
The shift in her tone was so profound, I could read it in the change in her body language.
"Let go!" shoving me away from herself, she took a tight gulp, running her fingers through her hair in frustration and relief.
'What the fuck have you done, Asher?' Icifer growled, but his voice was filled with amusement. 'It was wise to bring her here. If you didn't, we probably would have never seen this side of our mate. I bet Raven and Ezra have never seen Xanthea so feisty before."
One thing this room excelled at was disrupting the senses to such an extent that whoever was inside lost all their filters. Or it could also be her mood swings because of the heat. Whatever be the cause, it was sweetly exciting.
My lips curled up into a natural smirk as I studied her complex reaction more deeply.
"Are you... mad at me, wife?"