Chapter-15. Confiding
[Xanthea]
I watched the Aile castle become clearer and clearer in the side-view mirror of Nesryn's car the farther we drove away from it. Yet its sprawling grandness couldn't be captured in one frame.
The royal castle was the perfection of Baroque architecture, rising majestically to the extreme of excellence against the dark sky. Its pointed turrets and its colossal form were adorned in a regal aesthetic of black, gray, white, and gold. It took us ten minutes just to drive out of its stretched out precinct covered with the dense trees. Nesryn said that there was a lake among those trees that revolved around the palace, so she warned me to never enter the woods alone. The private driveway was built through those trees elevated from the land in such a way it never got in the lake's path.
I sat in the passenger's seat. I still couldn't believe I had been in that castle. Just seeing it from afar would be the dream of many.
If I didn't look at the sky, I couldn't even tell I was in the underworld. Although scary, the dense red and black clouds beautifully intertwined in the sky like paints in crystal clear water. The red clouds had a subtle glow that made the sky even more enchanting.
"The sun here always remains below the horizon, but its rays reach the land, although the sky just eats up most of the light," Nesryn said, changing the gear. "Like sunset?" I looked at her.
"Yeah, like the sunset in your realm. It's just that our days are all about sunsets and our nights are about the moon rising. We get most of our energy from the moon and night, so... we don't really need sun as much as your realm does," she said.
I nodded once, seeing the Aile castle disappear completely from my sight. A long stretch of forests sprinted behind us before we finally entered the city.
I gaped outside the window at the packed buildings with towering spires adorned with statues of gargoyles, dragons, devils, and sculptures of naked men, women, and angels with broken wings. They were all reaching out for the sky. The car raced on the cobblestone streets before it transitioned into asphalt roads. We reached the market square with skyscrapers and luxurious shops, with a soothing dark ambiance becoming more prominent.
The city's atmosphere was bustling with an eerie yet jovial energy, as the immortal werewolves trotted down the winding roads.
The buildings were decorated with runes and dark symbols that glowed in vivid neon colors. There were shops, taverns, pubs, cafes, banks and what-not. If I ignored the ominous decoration of statues around the buildings, the city resembled the normal cities in the earthly realm.
There was no traffic system, yet the private and public vehicles never collided.
"So... are you ready to tell where you learned all that medical stuff? I don't know much about alchemy, but I can tell you have quite an advanced knowledge on this subject," Nesryn asked, speeding the car through the traffic. There were times I felt as though we were going to crash into several cars, but we didn't.
"I wanted to become a doctor." Words left my lips before I could control them.
Nesryn peered at the farthest end of the road.
"A doctor?" she reiterated.
A subtle smile appeared on my face as I dropped my gaze.
"Yes. So, I read a lot ever since I was a kid."
"But where did you get such detailed information of Infernal alchemy? We share our knowledge with your kind, yes. But not to this extent. We can't allow the mortals to have much knowledge about immortals or immortality. That would destroy the balance between the three realms, Xanthea," she said, looking into my eyes.
"Honestly, I don't know. This knowledge was the only legacy my deceased mother left behind. She died while giving birth to me," I mumbled. "So, I wanted to dedicate my life to the dreams she couldn't live because of me. I just wanted to make her proud before I died. Make my life worth more than it ought to be." I chuckled softly, shaking my head. "Seems like my death will be just as worthless as my life has been so far."
Nesryn silently listened. The next few minutes passed in silence.
She let out a quick breath. "Are you confiding in me?" she asked.
I lifted my gaze to the dashboard of the car. It took me a while to understand why I told her what I did.
"I suppose... I am..." my voice came out as a whisper.
"Why?" Nesryn questioned coldly. "Why would you do that? I have no interest in getting close to you or attached in any manner. The only reason I talked to you is because you are the only one in this car other than me and I was genuinely curious about how you know about all that. So, why would you share your personal emotional burden with me?"
"I am sorry. I didn't mean to burden you. I just wanted to answer your question truly. And I just... wanted someone..." my voice quavered slightly, but I held back my emotions to pour into my words again. "Maybe I just wanted someone to know that I tried..."
I looked outside the window, blinking back the blurriness in my eyes.
For the rest of our drive, we didn't talk. And I was glad she didn't ask me any more questions, because I wasn't sure how I would answer them, detaching myself from the emotions linked to the answers.
We entered the precinct of the Pheles palace, which was named after Raven's demon wolf's name - Pheles. It was yet another wonder of architecture standing in the middle of blooming gardens, glowing greenhouses and dark woods. A dense mist hung heavily around the palace and the woods.
Flora and fauna heavily influenced the vibes of the place. Creepers on the walls, framing the windows and gazebos. Stems and leaves of runners and shrubs spread across the stairs like a viridian carpet and twirled around the balustrades. It felt as if I had entered a fictional world based on a dark fairy core.
After another five minutes' drive through the iron gate, Nesryn parked the car right in front of the palace's entrance.
I tried to get out of the car, but it was still locked.
"I just want you to know that-" Nesryn said without looking at me. "-your life hasn't ended yet. As long as you can take your next breath and feel it in your lungs, you are alive."
I looked at her blankly. She let out a sigh, running her long nails through her hair.
Nesryn looked right into my eyes.
"Vivamus, moriendum est. A quote from your world which means - let us live, for we must die. When you know you're gonna die, why don't you live as you always wanted to? Yeah, maybe you will die sooner because you offend someone or you disobey someone, but you'll be happy and grateful to yourself that even if for a second, you lived your life on your terms."
She cleared her throat, her voice slightly hoarse.
"So, you should be proud of yourself that you at least tried because many don't even know what to do with their lives. They follow orders and try to impress others by losing themselves. Why? Because they are immortals, and an immortal's biggest fear is loneliness and abandonment. At least mortals have the freedom to die. Just imagine living a life that has no end..."
Nesryn quickly looked away, but I had already seen the tears line her eyes.
She unlocked the doors.
I hesitantly and slowly reached out to touch her arm.
"But you are not alone. You have such a beautiful family. A mother, three mothers and all of them care about you..."
Nesryn nodded, looking at me.
"And I fear losing them all one day. And my fear keeps increasing as I see the High lady suffer every day. It is at times like this I wished we could die. At least there would be a permanent remedy for the pain. And maybe my brothers feel the same and that is why they have completely detached themselves, even from their own family. To the point, it's hurting now, but it wasn't supposed to, right? We aren't supposed to feel-"
She licked her lips, taking a deep breath.
I placed my hand on hers.
"I just want the High lady's pain to stop and if there was any way to make the treatment less cruel... I just don't want her to suffer anymore..."
She let out a shaky breath with a tight gulp.
"Are you... confiding in me now?" I stammered.Content protected by Nôv/el(D)rama.Org.
"Yes, that's how it works. You shared your emotional burden, I did mine, and if you dare tell a single word to anyone else, I'll kill you myself," she said, sniffling.
For the first time, I got a death threat, and I smiled and a subtle laughter.
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"Don't worry, your emotions are safe with me."
She stared at me blankly. Then, with a half sniffle and a half scoff, she looked outside the window.
"Get out now," Nesryn said, taking back her hand from mine.
We got out of the car. A valet came and took her car to the parking lot while we entered the palace.
Now that I could see the plants from up close, I felt a subtle excitement kick in my stomach. My legs twitched to run across the garden and witness all the plants with my eyes in real life. The same plants I had only seen in my mother's books. A palace was right in front of me, but I yearned to run into the wild and breathe in the exhilarating fragrance of dewed grass and freshly bloomed flowers.
I placed my hand on my chest, feeling my heart pound. The first thing that came to mind after experiencing the Pheles palace was - it's a place that can heal. The wounds I never knew I had.
I was so distracted, for a second I forgot I had to face Raven in a few minutes. And when I remembered about Raven, the only thing I could think of was hurt and pain.
How could his home have a vibe that completely contradicted him?
"I don't think he'd ever tell you this, but when they brought you to the pack, he was the one to heal your broken bones," Nesryn said.
"Alpha Asher?" I asked.
"No, Raven," she said.
I tensed my brows. "But why would he heal me?"
She shrugged.
"Maybe because they want you in your best condition to conceive their kids. Honestly, no one knows why they do what they do except the three of them, so... that's that." Nesryn entered the palace, and I followed her, staying a few steps behind her as I contemplated the unfathomable emotions knotting in my chest.
Ever since I had entered the Infernal pack, I had been feeling. I don't exactly know what I feel, but it's the most I had ever felt in my life.