My Hockey Alpha

Chapter 111 The Walls We Built

Nina

After our shower together, Enzo and I felt so exhausted from our experience that we crawled into bed despite the fact that it was broad daylight outside. When I finally awoke several hours later, it was dark in my room, and I found the warmth of his strong arms around me to be a welcome comfort.

Enzo continued to sleep beside me for some time. I laid with him, my eyes closed, as I listened to his soft breathing and steady heartbeat. Part of me wondered if all of this was a dream; maybe I was still locked up in my cell, completely oblivious to the real world. While I had no real way of knowing for sure, I let the feeling of Enzo’s arms and the warmth of his body be a tether to what was real — and if it wasn’t, and the real world was still just as cruel and cold, then at least I was having a sweet dream.

At some point, Enzo awoke with a start. His eyes opened, bright red and glowing in the darkness.

“Hey,” I said as he suddenly sat up. “It’s me.”

He was silent for a moment, his head swiveling this way and that way in the darkness, before he finally relaxed somewhat. I sat up and turned on the lamp beside my bed, casting the dark room in a warm amber glow.

“What time is it?” he asked.

I picked up my phone and checked. “Only 6:30,” I replied. “It’s getting darker earlier now.”

“Hm.” Enzo laid back down onto his back, his arm under his head, and looked up at the ceiling. I stared down at him and felt my eyes continuously returning to his lips. When I relived our kiss at the campfire in my dreams, it had felt so real that I wanted to feel it again now, and without thinking, I leaned down to kiss him.

Our lips locked together for a brief, sweet moment. The kiss was soft and gentle, but at the same time, I felt a burning desire for him begin to rise inside of me. His hands came up, his fingers trailing along my waist, over my breasts and my neck, and then came to cup my cheeks. I pressed my hands into his chest and straddled him as our kiss deepened, a soft moan escaping his lips as I unintentionally pressed into his groin. He wrapped his arms around me and sat up. His kisses traveled down my jaw and across my neck, and at the same time, I slid my hands up his bare back, having forgotten about his scars temporarily until my fingers grazed them.

He tensed. I didn’t think much of it, and let my fingertips trail along his scars.

But then, he suddenly pulled away.

“I’m sorry,” I said, quickly pulling my hands out from around his back and moving them to his chest instead. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

He shook his head. “Can you just… get off, please?” he said. His voice was low and somber. I did as he asked, but felt an addled prick stab me right in my heart.

“Enzo?” I asked, watching as he swung his legs over the side of the bed, then stood. He still wasn’t wearing a shirt, and his scars were visible even in the dim light of my room. He didn’t answer, but rather picked his shirt up off of the floor and pulled it on over his head, concealing them. “I really didn’t mean to–”

“I’m sorry,” he interrupted, his back still turned to me. “I can’t do this.”

Already, I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. “I don’t understand if you’re still mad at me over Ronan,” I said. “I thought that we were of the same understanding that it was a setup.”

He shook his head. “It’s not that. I know that it was all a setup, but…”

“What is it? Is it because I touched your scars?” I asked. “If so, I really didn’t mean to do it, and I’m sorry if I hurt you.”

Enzo paused for a painfully long moment as he continued to stare out the window before he finally spoke. “It’s not that you hurt me. It’s that I don’t want to hurt you. You and I both know that I have to go through with this arranged marriage.”

I wanted to stop him, to tell him that he didn’t have to go through with the arranged marriage, that we could run away together… But before I could say any of that, he quickly finished dressing and walked out of the room without so much as a ‘goodbye’. I heard the front door open and close, and then he was gone. And I was alone once more.

My chest ached. I jumped up and ran over to the window to see him walking stiffly across the quad below. As tears streamed down my cheeks, I couldn’t help but wonder if the beatings Edward gave him did far more damage than it seemed on the surface.

Enzo was different now, and it was my fault.

…

The following morning, I knew I would have to swallow my fears and return to normal life. I woke up and dressed, trying my best to ignore the three white scars running across my abdomen, and made my way to the dining hall to eat breakfast. I hadn’t eaten anything since the day before Edward took me, and I was ravenous. I had lost visible weight, too; my clothes were loose on me already.

I entered the dining hall and grabbed breakfast, and was making my way over to a table when I turned around suddenly and nearly ran head-on into none other than Justin.

“Hey, Nina,” he said.

My eyes were wide. The smile on Justin’s face was just as plastic-looking as ever, and when I looked into his eyes, there was nothing behind them. It was almost as though he wasn’t in there; he was just an empty shell that only looked like the Justin I once knew.

“Oh, hey,” I said.

“Having breakfast?” he asked. I nodded, then he gestured with his tray toward a nearby table. “Wanna eat with me?”

I almost said no, but the longer I stood there, the more I realized that Justin needed just as much help as I did. There was no telling the horrors he endured while he was in Edward’s torture chamber, and I was probably the only other person who would understand what that was like.

“Sure,” I replied.

Justin’s smile widened. We sat down together. I poked a bit at my eggs, still feeling as though eating might make me sick despite my hunger, while Justin bit down heartily into his breakfast sandwich.

“So,” I said, wanting to probe for at least a shred of information, “what have you been up to?”

He shrugged. “The usual. You?”

“Well…” Part of me wanted to spill everything in the hopes that it would snap him out of the spell that Edward had him under, but I stopped myself as I realized that it could potentially cause him to have a mental breakdown right here in the dining hall… And I didn’t want that to happen. “You know. The usual, too, I guess.”

“Cool,” he said. He took another big bite of his breakfast sandwich. I took a small bite of my eggs and, realizing that I had already lost my appetite again, pushed my tray away.

“Have you seen Edward lately?” I asked. “I was hoping to talk to him.”

Justin stopped chewing. “Edward?” he said, his mouth full. I could see a hint of recognition flash behind his eyes, but then he continued chewing and shook his head. “Nope. Haven’t seen him.”

“Hm. Has he been away, or…?”

Just then, I was alerted to the sound of gasping coming from across the cafeteria, and looked up to see Enzo storming toward me. His hands were curled up into fists at his sides, but he wasn’t looking at me; he was looking at Justin with a burning fire in his brown eyes. This content provided by N(o)velDrama].[Org.

“Enzo,” I said, standing. “What are you–”

Enzo ignored me, brushing past me. I spun around and watched in horror as his fist shot out and he grabbed a handful of Justin’s shirt, lifting him up out of his chair and causing his tray to clatter to the ground, sending uneaten breakfast sandwich all over the floor, while students nearby murmured confusedly.

“What the hell are you trying to do, you little weasel?” Enzo growled.

Justin only stared back with wide, confused eyes.