All Novel Sweet
149
Just as she was about to speak, Ray said, “I’m going to the office now. Don’t forget we have a doctor’s appointment at 3:30 for Rachel. I’ll drop by and pick her up and we will meet you there.”
With that statement the conversation was over. It was added to the long list of things that were festering into Marilyn and Ray’s relationship. An uneasy truce was observed when they got to the doctor’s office. The good news was that the new medication was having positive signs initially for Rachel.
When they got home, both tried to put on a show of normality. When it came bedtime, Marilyn asked Ray if he was coming to bed. Ray understood she was asking him to return to their bedroom. That night they had sex and for the first time in their marriage it felt to both of them as an obligation. When they finished, they mutually turned away from each other and both were deep in thoughts as the night passed by.
**********************
The light turned green and the vehicle accelerated through the intersection. I should have known Marilyn wouldn’t have betrayed me, Ray thought. But I didn’t give her much of a chance to explain. After that, it just got easier and easier to put distance between us. She begged me to listen to her and my foolish pride kept getting in the way and now I have lost her. I suppose now, John has a clean shot to replace me. He certainly made it easier to be the White Knight after this past Christmas.
After the altercation and the botched reconciliation, the sleeping arrangements became separate bedrooms despite Marilyn’s insistence that Ray return to his bedroom. When Ray didn’t immediately agree; Marilyn got upset and angry. By the time Ray was ready to come back to her, he was informed the current arrangement was fine by her.
So day by day they led different lives. Rachel never was aware of any problems between her parents. They continued to show a united front for her of unconditional love and support as the cancer would show signs of remission and her strength would build up. Away from Rachel, a frosty Berlin Wall was building and each grievance settled into another brick of hostility in the private war.
One morning, Ray went to breakfast to be confronted with an even angrier version of Marilyn. How dare he accuse her of having an affair when he was carrying on with that bitch he called his secretary. Before Ray could say anything, Marilyn informed him that she had information that Ray and Karen were sleeping together. Then she stormed out of the room.
Actually, all Marilyn had was a strand of blonde hair on Ray’s suit jacket that brushed up when Karen gave Ray a supportive hug the morning before. Ironically, the same set of events now transpired to send Ray and Marilyn’s marriage out of orbit and hurdling to the Sun.
Now suddenly the third parties of John Tullos and Karen Ferguson had an interest in the events. Slowly as the marriage began to disintegrate, both realized they had feelings developing with the person they were working with. Still, they made no outward effort to flame things; instead they continued to try to be a neutral bastion of support for their respective friend.
But the effort was getting tougher to maintain and control as they visualized replacing the erring spouse in their scenarios. Ultimately, both realized until Rachel’s situation was resolved that neither Marilyn nor Ray would be willing or capable of dissolving the marriage. So the merry go round continued to grind away based on the whims of fate.
Another Christmas, another birthday; another disappointment by Rachel not to see a White Christmas. Again, the surrounding gifts assuaged Rachel’s hurt not to experience snow. As Ray and Marilyn alternated handing gifts to Rachel to tear open and enjoy; Marilyn caught an ominous omen as Ray glanced at a gift and stiffened before he gave it to Rachel. Then he settled into a false mask of happiness for the remainder of the gifts openings.
After this long a period of time Marilyn was accustomed to Ray’s mood swings and although no one else picked up on it, she knew something had upset him. At the first opportunity away from their family and friends she asked what was wrong.
“Your boyfriend,” he hissed, “you let your boyfriend send a gift to my daughter?”
Without waiting for a response, he went back to Rachel’s room and ohhed and ahhed over the gifts, even the one sent by John Tullos. After everyone left and the house settled down he went to his bedroom and desperately searched for a way to solve his problem. Marilyn remained in Rachel’s room lying beside her in the bed watching her slumbering child wondering what the future would bring.
What it brought was indifference. People are mistaken when they think hate is the opposite of love. It isn’t. The opposite of love is indifference. When you no longer care about the actions of another. At least with hate you still evoke a feeling from a person. But when someone is indifferent from you, when you no longer are affected by someone, that is the exact opposite of love.
Slowly, the indifference grew as the couple still tended to Rachel. John continued to grow closer to Marilyn and Karen grew closer to Ray. And while both participated in emotional adultery, neither were willing to cross the line into physical adultery. Both Ray and Marilyn still felt that last bond remained unless and until they legally severed that bond.
That would not happen around Rachel. Not to destroy her childhood, her life. Not after everything else that had happened to her. Marilyn and Ray were both resolved to go through life together unhappily as long as they could keep Rachel alive and happy.
Another year passed, another request for a White Christmas failed. More Christmas gifts, including one from John Tullos again. Ray caused no objection. Time continued to spiral downward. Every so often, Ray or Marilyn would approach one another in a effort to resolve their differences. But call it fate, or bad timing, or bruised egos but nothing rekindled their fire.
Now they lived as roommates sharing the common goal of nursing and caring for Rachel. Both treated the other politely and put on the veneer of a loving couple around Rachel or friends and family only to shed it off when they were alone.
Another Christmas and they waited to hear Rachel’s annual request for a White Christmas. Then she surprised them. Her Christmas wish was to keep the Christmas lights burning. Tears sprung from Marilyn and Ray as they promised that the Christmas lights would continue to burn for Rachel. The smile from the emasculated child sealed the promise. That was how the Christmas lights began to burn 24/7 at the Thompson’s residence.
Soon, Ray and Marilyn heard rumbling from disgruntled neighbors as the lights continued to remain on during late January. By February, the Home Owners Association mailed a notice to them to turn off and remove the Christmas lights. Ray promised Marilyn that he would take care of it as he pulled out the HOA regulations to reacquaint himself with the myriad bylaws.
Initially, he sent a letter appealing to them to grant his sick child’s request. That was immediately rebuffed and now he was sent a demand letter from the HOA’s legal counsel. He called and talked to the attorney, but the attorney was adamant that the Christmas lights be turned off and removed or legal action would commence.
Everyday, Ray would inform Marilyn of the situation and she began to get frustrated and turned on Ray for his failure not to resolve the problem. Still Ray persevered to grant his daughter her wish and the lights continued to burn at the Thompson’s house 24/7.
A certified letter was sent to the Thompsons informing them of their breach of the HOA’s regulations and a lawsuit had been filed. Marilyn still insisted that Ray wasn’t doing his utmost as he filed motion after motion in the lawsuit. She voiced those frustrations to John during one of their daily lunches.Contentt bel0ngs to N0ve/lDrâ/ma.O(r)g!
“He’s not doing anything, John. All I hear is that he filed this motion or that motion or that this hearing is being rescheduled or this issue is being briefed. All I need to hear from him is that he got this taken care of and my daughter can enjoy her Christmas lights.”
“Marilyn, I’m sure Ray is doing what he can to do this legally, but sometimes it may be better to go in a different direction. I have a friend at a local TV station. If you’d like, I’ll see if I can get them interested in doing a human interest story on Rachel. Maybe we can shame them into giving up the lawsuit.”
“Oh John, thank you!” Marilyn exclaimed and impulsively leaned over and kissed him. She broke the uneasy silence, “I’m sorry John. I shouldn’t have done that… At least, as long as I’m married to Ray I am committed to being faithful…”
With her sentence trailing off, John pounced. “But after that Marilyn what are you going to do. You must know how I feel about you. You can’t spend the rest of your life being chained to someone you don’t care about. You owe it to yourself to be happy. I can make you happy and I’m willing to wait until you give me that chance.”
Marilyn was startled by the declaration. True, she and John had danced around the subject but now it was in the open and it couldn’t be ignored.
“John, this is too sudden and too fast. I do care about you and I do want to be happy but given my situation when will I ever be in a position to act. For now, let’s focus on getting your friend to do the news story and take care of that problem” with that she hugged her friend and he relished the feel of her in his arms.
Across town, Karen was hugging Ray. “Congratulations, Ray! I knew you would find a solution to this!”