In Love With My Boyfriend’s Brother

I open the door.

I look back. He is still looking at me, but as soon as I look directly into his eyes, he turns and goes to sit on the bed with his back to me.

I wish I could go back in time now and erase everything wrong I’ve done, but unfortunately, I can’t do that.

As I close the door to his room, I stand with my back to the door for a few seconds, and with my eyes closed, I take a deep breath and realize that this is happening. I am losing everything, my life is in chaos and it is all my fault.

I take another deep breath and head for the exit. Megan is still in the kitchen and looks at me, but says nothing. And I wonder why she is here? Did Matt call her?

Before I open the door, I glance again at his bedroom door, hoping that he will come after me, but I realize that it would be stupid of me to imagine. It’s not going to happen.

I open the door and just as I am about to leave, I see Megan heading in the direction of his room.

…

I call a cab to go to my apartment and get the hell out of here because I just want to go upstairs again and try to convince Matt one more time to forgive me, but I know I have to give him a break now and hope he wants to talk to me one more time.

On the way back home, I wouldn’t know how to describe what I am feeling, it is a mixture of sadness with hate, and the hate I know exactly who I am feeling for.

Besides the fact that I cried almost the whole way and tried to disguise it when the taxi driver looked at me through the mirror when I get home I collapse and it happens as soon as I close the door behind me.

”It was all so good, everything was so perfect and… Now…”

As I say this out loud to myself, I cry even more, because I realize that there is no turning back now.

I know that I deserve this, I deserve to cry every tear that I am crying because it is all my fault.

I don’t know what I was thinking when I didn’t think about the possibilities of when Matt finds out about this. I guess I never really thought about how it would hurt him. Now I know and it was far worse than anything I had ever imagined in this life. I hurt in the worst way the person who did nothing but the best for my life.

I take a glass of water to try to calm myself and think about what to do.

But I always knew what to do from the time Matt told me that “he couldn’t have made all that up”.

I don’t have his number, but I have Kyle’s. So I do what I have to do:

”Hey Kyle, can you tell me where I can find Yan?”

As soon as Kylie told me that Yan was at the skate park, I rushed over. He also told me that Matt and Yan had a fight earlier today and that he brought his stuff into a room here.

Max is a little freaked out to see me, well, who wouldn’t be? I look terrible, my eyes are red and puffy, my hair I have no idea what it looks like, and the sleeves of my shirt are all wet because I don’t care much about that at the moment.

Max and I are not the best friends in the world and that’s pretty obvious now with this awkward silence while I wait for him to tell me where Yan is.

He just says as soon as I ask:

”He’s in a back room over there.”

He points me in the direction and I follow him there.

God, I want to finish that guy off right now. I feel like if I tell him everything I want, it will somehow make me more relieved to get rid of him once and for all and try to win Matt back.Property belongs to Nôvel(D)r/ama.Org.

Matt…

Thinking about him and how he’s feeling only makes me hate myself even more and my hate reminds me that I’m like this because of Yan. It’s all his fault.

I want to start crying again, but I take a deep breath. I can’t burst into tears right now, I just have to understand why he did it first.

I have everything ready in my mind, I want to ask him why he destroyed my life this way and what he might have gained from it all.

I stare for a while at the door at the end of the hall.

I want to take him by surprise, I don’t want him to have the time to invent anything to try to convince me that he doesn’t even have a heart, because now I am sure that he doesn’t. Then I walk to the door at the end of the hall.

So I walk to the door at the end of the hall and open it without knocking. I am ready to ask him what the fuck he just did:

”Yan, I just want… Shit!”

Yan is standing in the middle of the room without any clothes on.

I swallow hard.

He is standing in the middle of the room, finishing wiping his face with a towel.

He just looks at me surprised. I don’t think he expected me here.

My eyes go down slowly. I stop breathing for a moment.

Damn it, this didn’t start the way I expected.

I turn instinctively to the door.

”Sky? What are you doing here?”

I bite my lips. I’m still red and not sure why, at least he can’t see this now. I take a deep breath because I’m always doing that when I’m around him.

”We need to talk.”

”Okay, but…”

I interrupt:

”Can you get dressed first?”

There’s silence for a moment, then he says:

”Okay.”

A while later I question:

”Ready?”

I hear him take a deep breath and say:

”Ready.”

I turn around. I stare at him for a while. I look right at the part where it’s not covered. And I say:

”Can you put a shirt on too?”

He frowns.

I complete:

”Please.”

He takes a deep breath and grabs a shirt from the bed.

Why the hell haven’t I started saying everything I want to say yet?

I don’t know.

He comes toward me and asks:

”How did you find me here?”

I pluck up courage:

”Why did you do it? Why did you end my life?”

He stops, especially when he sees my tears start to fall.

”What’s it like?”

“Yep.”

I go up to him, pointing my finger:

”Why did you have to ruin everything? Matt hates me now!”

He doesn’t say anything, just looks at me scared. My hatred only increases. I start pushing him away with my hands and punching him in his arms and chest.

Tears come streaming down my face and I throw even harder punches, which I know don’t do much damage to his body. He just tells me amidst my screams:

”Sky, Sky… Stop please, calm down!”

But I don’t want to calm down.

”How could you do this?”

I cry even more. But he holds me tight in a hug that makes me cry even harder, as I feel my strength drain away.