Holding on to you

“What?!”

The vein on the side of my dad’s face looked like it was about to pop, my mother, placed a comforting hand around his shoulders, which was also holding him back for dragging me out of the hospital room kicking and screaming.

I sat up on the bed and scooted further away from him, I’ve never before seen my dad looked so scary, and to be honest it was freaking me out. I didn’t know what to do, I knew that they wanted me to leave with them, but flashes of Killian holding me while I cry kept popping up in my mind.

The way he held me, almost lovingly, like I was the only person in the entire world that mattered to him. For some strange reason, I felt love and weirdly cherish. Our relationship might be a far cry from traditional but it was ours. I realised that as bad as Killian might be, I can always depend on him to be there for me. I might be his, his plaything, his sex slave, his to use and control, but he’s also mine.

We belonged to each other.

“Lil, you can’t be serious, you can’t possibly want to stay with that deranged freak!”

I frowned at Liam, for some reason hearing him talk about Killian like that upset me.

“Don’t call him that!!”

My words weren’t meant to come out that harsh, but I just couldn’t stop myself. My family was looking at me like I was a few eggs short of a dozen. My mother glanced nervously at the door like she was afraid someone would come rushing in.

After staring at me for a while I saw my father’s features soften, he looked at me like he used to when I was little and being difficult. He had that ‘I know this is what you want, but you’re not going to have it’ look plastered on his face.

“Baby bear, Killian is not who you think he is, he’s heartless murder who would kill just for the fun of it. He’s not good for my baby girl, this…”

He used his hands to gesture around the hospital room.

“… is not good for you, being with him will destroy you, Lilly. He’s not a good person.”

I narrowed my eyes and glared at my dad, how could he stand there and pass judgement when he and my mom were just as bad as they say Killian was? My anger at the whole situation that was brewing rise to the surface.

I clenched the bed sheet in my fist, trying my best to control my anger. How dare they stand there and condemn Killian when they were no better.?!

“You’re such a hypocrite, dad, you talk about Killian as if your hands are clean! You and mom have lied to us all of our lives, you thought us to never cause unnecessary harm to others yet you never lived by your own rules! So don’t you dare stand there and tell me what you think is good for me!”

The surprise was evident in both my parents’ face, but there was also disappointment there too. However, I was beyond the point of caring, that defiant streak that I’ve developed took a stand and refused to back down.

“Lilly, what happened to you? Where has my sweet little sister gone to?”

I calmed down a bit and looked at my brother, the girl that they expected me to be was long gone, being with Killian changed me. I was no longer that innocent girl who was carefree and funny, Killian showed me another side to life. The dark, dangerous and anything but innocent side. I might have been opposed to it before, but lately, I realised that it was where I belong.

However, even if it wasn’t, Killian would never let me leave and go back to my normal life, and to be honest, I wasn’t so sure that I wanted to.

“I’m not that girl anymore, Zack, and I haven’t been her for a while.”

All of my brothers looked sad, but they nodded their heads, whatever they saw on my face or heard in my voice convinced them that Lilly Mae Graham was no more. In her place was Lilly Black.

“You’ll still keep in contact with us, right?”

Oliver choked on the words and Brandon put his hand around his shoulders to comfort him. I nodded my head, feeling the tears pricked at my eyes.

“You’re the only sister we have, Lil… you’re my only big sister, you might be a pain in the ass at times, but you’re still my sister and I don’t want to lose you.”

I laughed, using my hand to wipe at the tears. I wish I could have told them that everything was going to be ok, but I didn’t truly believe that myself. That newscast kept replaying in my head, as much as I disliked Harvey and Leo, I didn’t want them to die. I knew that Killian would kill anyone who dared to try and harm me or take me away from him. And after the miscarriage, I somehow felt drawn to him, like the loss of our baby connected us in the most primal way.

“I promised, you’re not going to lose me.”

I saw the doubtful look in my brother’s eyes but he nodded his understanding.

“Of course, we’re not going to lose you because you’re coming with us whether you want to or not!”

My dad sounded angry, but I didn’t care, there was no way that I was leaving with them.

“Marco, there’s no need to get angry, Lilly is just confused at the moment. She just went through a very traumatic loss, right now she must be feeling some form of loyalty to Killian.”

My mother tried to resolve the situation but both of us were stubborn and unwilling to back down. I stop glaring at my dad long enough to look at my mother, her eyes were soft and full of sympathy and understanding.

It was like I was being hit by a truck of emotions, all of which I was trying my best to avoid. The loss from earlier overtook me with full force and I couldn’t stop myself from crying out.

My hands flew to my mouth to stop the cry from escaping. I didn’t want to feel that pain anymore and the fact that my mother brought it to the surface pissed me off enough to make me lash out at her.

“Wow, mom, have you turned psychiatrist now, or is that just one of your many personas that you take on to make people trust you before you kill them?”

They all gasped and I laughed hysterically at their horrified look, the aching pain in my heart making me not care.

“You wanna know what makes Killian so different from you, he never lied to me, with him I always know what I’m getting, but you two are acting like saints when you were really the devil in disguise.”

My mother tried to hide her hurt at my words but she was unsuccessful, my father noticed this as well and he turned to give me a disappointed look.

“I don’t care how much you think you have grown, you do not ever talk to me or your mother like that again, do you hear me, young lady?!”

It wasn’t until I saw the tears in my mother’s eyes that I backed down. I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded, I was a bit embarrassed at my behaviour but I didn’t dwell on it too much because my father was again talking about taking me with them.

“You need to get dress Lilly; we have to get moving before this hospital is crowded with Black’s men.”

I folded my arms and stared at him and he copied me, doing the same. We were all so caught up in the heated standoff that we were having that we didn’t notice that there was another person in the room until he spoke.

“You’re not taking her anywhere, she’s mine!”

All eyes turned to look at Killian, he looked much more refresh and alive than the day before. His few days old stubbles was gone and the tiredness that was dominating his eyes was no more.

The black faded jeans and grey form-fitting shirt he was wearing make him look like the sexiest man alive. It still kinda baffled me at times why he would want me when it was clear that all the girl would gladly fall at his feet.

“Look, son, I know what you did to my daughter and I’ll be damn if I let her go back to that kind of abuse.”

My brow frowned, what was my dad talking about? What abuse was he talking about? Killian stepped further into the room, coming to a stop by my bed. Without breaking eye contact with my father he handed me a small bag that was in his hand.

“Get dress, Red, we’re leaving.”

I wasn’t sure I wanted to leave him along with my family, I was afraid that in the time that it will take me to get dress, they will have killed each other. My dad looked pass Killian and stared at me, giving me a warning look.

“Lilly, you’re not going anywhere with him!”

Killian didn’t show any emotions at my dad’s outburst, instead, he turned to look at me. His eyes clearly saying that he didn’t find my disobedience amusing in the least.

“Red! Dress now!”Exclusive content © by Nô(v)el/Dr/ama.Org.

The dangerous, almost brutal edge to his voice had me jumping from the bed and running to the bathroom to get changed. I might not have been able to move that fast due to the miscarriage, but I pushed through it.

I quickly discarded the hospital gown and donned the blue jeans and purple hooded jumper. Sticking my feet in the shoes I quickly exited the room to find my husband and my father pointing guns at each other.

“What the hell did I miss, I leave for five minutes and already you’re ready to kill each other?”

I walked over to Killian, and with his free hand, he pulled me to his side then slide it around my waist.

“Lilly is mine, she belongs to me and I won’t hesitate to f**k over anyone who tries to take her away from me!”

His fingers dug into my side as he spoke.

“This hospital is crawling with my men, so there’s no way any of you will make it out of here alive if you by chance happen to overpower me and pry her from my cold dead hands. So I suggest you save your family and leave me to protect mine. She might be your daughter but she’s my wife.”

My dad growled and forced his next words through clenched teeth.

“A position and title that you forced on her.”

If my father intended to make Killian feel remorseful it did not work, Killian just shrugged his shoulders at my dad and gave a slight laugh as he spoke.

“There are a lot more things that I’ve forced on her, but all of them she likes. She knows who she belongs to and it’s time that all of you understand how this works.”

And as it to demonstrate what he meant, he lowered the gun and pocket it. He turned to face me, his voice low and steady as he spoke.

“Baby, tell your parent who owns you.”

I didn’t want to tell my parents that, no child wants to tell their parents that they belonged body, mind and soul to a guy like Killian. However, I knew I had to if I wanted to keep the peace between my husband and my parents.

“I belong to you.”

Killian smiled.

“Good, girl. Now say goodbye to your family because we’re leaving.”