CHAPTER 91
Celine’s POVOwned by NôvelDrama.Org.
A shout rings out from nowhere and I wake up with a start. My eyes fly open, wondering where the sound is coming from.
Bryan jerks upright too, grabbing a hold of his head with both hands. His body shakes tremendously and this is when I know the shout is from him.
“Bryan”, I grab his hand and he flinches, pushing me away from him.
I let out a loud gasp and quickly get out of bed, throwing the comforter away. I run to the other side of the bed where he is and take a hold of his hands again.
He is breathing heavily and there are tears in his red eyes. There are beads of sweat on his forehead trailing down to his sleepwear.
The shock of the shout made me speechless and also the fact that I was scared by it.
What happened? Why did he shout that way? Is it a nightmare?
Careful not to voice out my thoughts, I remove his other hand from his head also but he shrugs me off.
“Bryan, calm down”, I try to persuade him to let me help. I am not going to ask him anything, I just want him to be calm and lay back on the bed. When he is fine, then I can question him about what happened. I am sure it is a nightmare.
Last night, we were smiling at each other before we both went to sleep. Why then did he have a nightmare? I used to think nightmares usually come whenever someone has a bad day or went to bed in anger.
Bryan wasn’t angry last night. I was here. I saw the look of satisfaction on his face. He was happy and I was too. I am happy to have broken into the hard wall he built around himself. That was all that I needed to make Beyan love me for who I am and not consider me only as a nanny for his son or the woman who bore him a child.
The walls around him are broken now and every other thing that I have planned will follow. This is indeed a dream come true.
“Let go of me!” He yells in the air, punching his fist into the bed. My mouth drops open.
“Bryan”, I try to touch him again but he moves away, piercing me with his icy glare.
My hand hangs halfway as I feel a stab of hurt in my heart.
Why is he looking at me this way? Why is he reminding me of who he was a week ago? Why is he staring at me like I am a nobody and not the same woman he slept with yesterday and today? What the hell is wrong with him? What the hell happened to have caused this drastic change within hours?
I close my mouth and gulp loudly. Folding my arms around my bosom, I move back to the other side of the bed where he is now.
“Bryan, what happened?” I ask softly, expecting him to at least let me know if he is fine or not.
He does not answer. He continues to glare at me coldly.
“Bryan”, I stretch my hand and take a hold of his shoulder. Maybe he is tensed up from the nightmare and he needs someone to relieve him, probably a massage.
“Get away from me”, he shouts at me and pushes my hands away from him. I jerk backward and almost fall as my mouth drops open again in shock. “Get out of here!”
He called me to come here last night. I didn’t come on my own accord, then why is he making it look like I came here on my own to seduce him?
I can’t deny the hurt I am feeling right now as I watch him point to the door, asking me to leave. This is what I have been avoiding. This is one of the things I don’t want.
Not this. Not fate repeating itself. This happened five years ago.
We had sex and he sent me out of his room. As I take a step backward, a wave of nostalgia hits me hard on the face.
Bryan and I didn’t have sex last night but we did two nights ago. We only slept on the same bed last night until this morning and now he is doing this.
What am I? An object of ridicule and a toy to f*** whenever he is horny?
I was so sure that he wanted the sex as much as I wanted it. I thought we have gone past the phase of being uncivil to each other and this second sex will be the beginning of a change in our relationship and finally, I will be recognized not only as his baby mama.
“Bryan”, I clamp my hand on my mouth in astonishment when he isn’t laughing out to tell me this is a joke. The cold glare is still evident on his face and he doesn’t look remorseful at all. It is just like what we had two nights ago and last night meant nothing to him just like how the first sex meant nothing to him until he found out that he has a child.
A sob escapes my mouth when I remember that we didn’t use any protection. I am so stupid to have believed that a man who has shown me nothing but hatred for five years nonstop would suddenly love me or become attracted to me.
I am stupid to have thought sex is a way to have him hooked to me. I am stupid to have let him have me.
Can he ever change?
“I said get out!” He yells, rising abruptly and charging toward me like an animal going for a prey. I turn back in fear and race out, with my heart thumping wildly in confusion and terror.
What is happening?
I don’t know what happened. I don’t fucking know what he saw that made him go ballistic on me that way.
I don’t know tears are already streaming down my eyes until I get to the landing and tears fall on top of my sleepwear.
It blinds me as I continue to walk without caring to see where I am heading until I bump into someone.
“Celine?” Camilla calls out with a surprised voice. I wipe my tears quickly and our eyes meet. We stare at each other for a while in silence until her gaze rivets to the staircase in suspicion and I begin to cry.
I feel stupid. How do I tell Camilla about what happened between Bryan and me in just two days?
How the hell am I going to tell her that I spent the night in his room two nights ago and also last night? How am I supposed to tell her that Bryan and I had sex yesterday morning and we slept in each other’s arms, talking into the night about our past?
How can I tell her that I don’t know what the hell Bryan saw in his dream that made him shout at me just like he did five years ago?
She embraces me, my tears spilling onto her clothes. She already has the apron on which indicates that she is already in the kitchen.
We stand this way for a while until I sober up, reminding myself that I need to go and check up on my son and Camilla needs to go back to work.
I shouldn’t have left Jason all alone in the room just because Bryan asked me to. Jason should be my priority. He is the reason why I am here in the first place.
I disengage from her hold, wiping my tears again. “Thank you.”
At that, I walk past her to my room. I close the door and lock it from behind so she won’t follow me in. I know how worried Camilla can be and she might be curious to know what has transpired between me and Bryan this time.
I don’t want to tell her. I don’t want her to know about my situation. If I don’t tell her, there is no way she would know. She would only think it is one of our small fights that always gets me in tears.
She would never know of my high expectations which have just been dashed and shattered into pieces.
I slam my back to the door and exhale deeply, shifting my gaze to the bed to see Jason stirring in his sleep.
I pray within me so he won’t wake up now and see me in tears. I think God answered my prayer because a few minutes later, Jason goes still again.
It isn’t time for him to wake up. The slamming of the door must have shaken him.
Something clicks in me. God answered my prayers for Jason to go back to sleep. Why can’t he answer my prayers for peace and love and happiness?
This is all I want. I have always wanted Bryan to see me in a different light and not view me as a woman who betrayed him. But now I am no longer interested in those prayers. He can go to hell for all I care.
All I need right now is peace. And happiness.
I close my eyes and pray within me. Just then, my phone beeps, and I open my eyes sharply.
The phone is on the nightstand where I left it before leaving the room last night. I step away from the door and take a hold of the phone wondering what message it is.
I rarely receive calls or messages.
My eyes widen when Paxton’s name flashes across the screen. I have several missed calls from him. Maybe that’s why Jason was stirring in his sleep when I came in and not because I slammed the shut door. It wasn’t that loud.
I focus my gaze back on the phone as I see the notification message that popped. It is from Paxton.
Out of curiosity, wondering why he is blowing my phone up with calls now after several days of keeping me in silence, I tap on the message and it reads.
“Let’s meet.”