His Soul & His Shame

I am happy! This is the first thought I had when I slipped under my sheets that night after Ezra dropped me home. It's been a very long time since this thought crossed my head and I was genuinely happy.

The vibration of my phone pulled me from my thoughts. It's already midnight and who the hell is texting me at this time?

By the time I came home, Daniel and Izzy went out with Joanna so I didn't get the chance to see them and I hope they are having a good time.

I welcomed the sleep with a content smile on my face with the thoughts of Ezra and his lips.

I don't know what woke me up but I sat on my bed like I was jerked by someone and I heard a loud bang on my door. What is with these doors and bangs on them with me? I think I may have been a door in my past life. Grumbling inside and cursing whoever spoiled my sleep I got down from the bed and walked towards the door to punch whoever was on the other side.

I pulled the door open and a very drunk Izzy and Daniel stumbled into the room giggling like idiots. What am I going to do with these two? Izzy is too much to handle while she is drunk like this and Daniel, I don't know what type of drunk he is but I am going to find out right now.

"Is something funny!" I crossed my hands and raised a brow to intimidate them but inside I am bursting with a laugh. They look like lost puppies, mischievous and innocent.

"Uh! Nooooooo...." Izzy drew out looking at me like I have something on my face making me touch it and see if I seriously have something.

"Why are you guys so drunk? I asked to which they giggled like kids swaying back and forth. Ugh! I don't want to deal with their antics right now.

I took my phone from the nightstand to record a bit of their idiocy and pull their legs in the morning.

"Kids! Can you please give me a big smile?" I asked like a kindergarten teacher showing them that I am clicking their picture to which they literally squealed like a bunch of five years and posed drunkenly.

"Oh, My God! I am going to have so much fun tomorrow morning." I recorded their funny faces instead of taking a picture and recorded their drunk banter about who elbowed who first. I have to stop their fight before they wake my parents. "Guys! Stop." I whisper yelled at them narrowing my eyes but it's so hard to stop the laughter which is threatening to come out with their shocked faces and wide eyes.

"Daniel, you need to go back to the guest room. Follow me." I don't want him to pass out in the hallway to the guest room and him opening my parent's room door in a drunken haze.All text © NôvelD(r)a'ma.Org.

"Okay ma'am" He saluted, Both giggling again making me roll my eyes at them.

I dropped off Daniel in the room and came back to my room to see Izzy face-planted on the bed and snoring lightly. This girl is a tornado, loud.

I removed her heels and slightly touched her shoulder to let her move upwards the bed so I could crash too.

"Izzy come one, move up a bit." I grumbled pulling her upward when she didn't budge.

"Why doesn't he like me?" I hear her mumble making my body freeze. What does she mean by that? Is she talking about Daniel? Or someone she met at the club?

"Who doesn't like you, Izzy?" I whispered and held my breath to hear her answer but she didn't reply, making me think she was just talking in her sleep.

"Ezra." His name from her mouth twisted my stomach uneasily. Why god! Why! Why always me? What I did so wrong in my life I always found myself in these situations. Izzy will never remember this part in the morning as she always forgot the night when she got herself drunk but on the other hand, I will always remember her little confession of her liking my best friend.

What do I do now? I thought there was no one between us now and there is no guilt this time as last time when he was with Mitchell but now I have to think about Izzy's confession every time I see Ezra.

Why don't I get to have Ezra for myself, not everyone claiming him?

What if Ezra likes Izzy back? Can I see them together? Am I going to suffer like before when he flaunted Mitchell in front of me, but he didn't even spare any glance towards Izzy and he didn't even talk about her in front of me. Iam so fucking confused and enraged right now. Why does Ezra have to be a chick magnet? I know Izzy, if she wants something then she will get that by whatever means.

I slumped down on my side thinking about the kiss in Ezra's penthouse and the dinner we had and every single second I spent with him slowly bring back the hope that Ezra has changed and he only sees me now but the small part of me was afraid what if the past repeats and make myself a fool!

I took my phone and opened Ezra's contact, I don't know what I want to say to him but I just want to confirm that whatever I am feeling is not one-sided and I am not going to make myself fool a second time.

Instead of calling him, I texted him with "I Am afraid" and hurriedly put the phone back on the nightstand. My heart is beating so fast with nerves about what he will reply.

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My phone buzzed, making my heart jump out of my body.

I opened his text, a smile curved my lips seeing his nickname for me.

"Why, Baby girl?"

"I don't know, I just don't want to get hurt again, Ezra." I typed back biting my lip to stop them trembling with nerves. I never had this type of conversation with him and now I know I can't say these things to his face so I opted for texting other than a call. I'm such a coward.

The buzzing of my phone pulled me from my thoughts. He is definitely not a coward and The text he sent me proves that.

"Open the window, Baby girl."

He always sneaked into my room when we were kids and teenagers and Ezra loves Sneaking into my room.

I ran towards the window and opened it to see him leaning on to the railing crossing his thick arms making me gulp in pleasure. Desire pooled in my belly seeing him standing in the dark with his signature smirk playing on his kissable lips. He is going to be the death of me.

"Come here." He rasped out with his half-hooded eyes. He looks like a dark knight in the shadows, the moonlight casting its light on his handsome features making it impossible to resist him.

"What are you going to do to me, Ezra?" I bit my lip turning his attention to it.

"I am going to do bad things to you, Baby girl!" He hummed deep within his chest making my core tighten with desire. If he keeps saying things like this then I am going to combust there and then.

"What type of bad things, Daddy!" a deep low rumble came out of him, making me jump in surprise. I know I am teasing a lion but I can't pull myself back when he is looking at me like he wants to devour me completely.

He is a predator and I am his prey but the complete control is in my hands as the way Ezra is still standing there and not pouncing on me like a hungry animal and that gives me my confidence.

"You are being a bad girl, Fay, and bad girls get punished." I Am standing in front of him and there is only a breath of distance between us and I can smell his scent clearly which made my head spin and my core to clench.

"I'd love to be punished by you Daddy." I dipped my head and pulled his bottom lip with my teeth nibbling on it and made him groan.

His hands went around my head and his fingers threaded into my hair pulling my mouth onto his, this kiss feels so different than the others as I can feel his hunger and desire for me and i'm showing mine to him with the way we practically devouring each other.

Our bodies are flushed together and I can feel his hardness pressing into my stomach.

"I want more Ezra." I breathed out in between the kisses. I don't care even if i am going to regret whatever we do now in the morning but right now I want Ezra.

"I want more too, Baby girl but I am afraid that you will regret whatever we do more than kissing in the morning and I don't want you to regret it." He touched my forehead with his breathing heavily with his dark hooded eyes which were shining with lust and desire for me. This is new for me as he never showed these so freely before and with more intensity.

"Fay" we both freeze at Izzy's voice calling from the room but the way the voice sounded she is waking up and getting up from the bed. I don't want her to see us here in this position but a much bigger and meaner part of me wants her to see us and realize that he is never going to want her as long as he is looking at me like this.

"You need to go, Ezra," I whispered in his ear, ushering him to go. I don't want to hurt Izzy if she seriously feels something for Ezra. I will talk to her in the morning but until then she shouldn't see us like this. "No! Let her See. I came here to talk to you baby girl and I won't move until we talk." There is no time for stubborn Ezra rightnow and I need to do something to make him go.

"If you don't go right now then i am not going to let you touch me ever." He freezes like I have put a gun to his head and I know I'm being petty and childish but I don't know what else to say to him to move.

He narrowed his eyes and took a step forward making me take a step back.

Uh-huh! I think I poked a bear.

"Umm...E.. Ezra I was just joking." he didn't stop taking steps toward me and in no time he caged me in between his hard body and the wall.

"Don't ever make a joke about not letting me touch you, Fay. I will tie you to my bed and touch every single part of your body with you begging under me for more. No one is going to keep me away from you, not even you, so lock this in your pretty head of yours that YOU. ARE. MINE." I gulp knowing very well that his words are true and my body and heart are traitors too.

"We will talk tomorrow." His kissed my head one last time and slipped into the dark night like a creature of the night without making any sound.

Some things will never change like Ezra's hold on me and the way his words make my body react.