Her, To Home

She could feel his eyes, glaring holes in her back. Well, he could suck it for all she cares but she was not turning around. What was he even doing, following her to every class? Who even allowed him! And even if he had started here again then why do he have to be in the same classes as her.

The mark on her neck covered by band-aid suddenly starts burning. She felt like he was staring right at it. Oh, she was furious. He had no idea how furious she was when she went home and saw that almost purple mark on her neck. Like a freaking tag, he had made his mark on her.

Ignoring her racing heart and concentrating on the teacher, she tried to avoid June’s eyes as well. What was it with people glaring at her! With everyone’s stares and June and Dean’s glares, she will end up holy and it was not this nun kind of holy, it was the holes one.

With that she also wondered if maybe becoming a num wouldn’t be such a bad idea at this very moment.

Oh God, how she wished she was a nun!

Shaking her head and scolding herself for being stupid, she started staring at the board again. The words looked like those alphabet noodles, all jumbled up and flush, now she was hungry. Couldn’t she just think about one thing at a time!

A small thud sound made her look at her desk. A chocolate bar stared back at her. Confused, she looked around and saw Dean looking at her. With his head, he gestured towards the bar and she blinked at him in surprise.

How did he know?

Has he really not forgotten anything about her?

Without an ounce of self-conscious, he stared back at her with those shadowed eyes. How could he stare at her this way? Without a worry? Without a look around of where he was. Can’t he be discrete? Isn’t he afraid? How can anyone leave their eyes so naked? Leave their soul for the world to see, with just one look tell what exactly the person was thinking.

She wondered what her eyes showed? Were they as naked? If so then what were they saying? Were they shouting, screaming as his did or were they confused, in conflict as she was feeling?

What was she doing? Why was she suddenly seeing such things? Recognizing exactly what Dean was thinking, exactly what his eyes reflect. He was treating her almost the same then why was feeling this way? Ignoring the damn kiss and those cursed words, he was the same then why she suddenly so aware of him? Why was she feeling like she was looking at him for the first time?

Was it because before he had been a forbidden fruit, someone she could never stand beside but just stay in his shadow as his friend? She has never thought of him more. Then why suddenly….

The loud cough shook her out of her stare off with Dean. She quickly looked away and hid her face, feeling it heat up. Her heart was racing at much faster pace now, and feeling his eyes still on her- her whole body felt like it was on fire.

How long had they been staring at each other?

The sound of bell made her finally look up again. Collecting her books, even if she knew that she couldn’t escape either June or Dean- knowing June was the one who coughed, she tried a lame attempt to run but someone already had grabbed her backpack. She would have fell on her bum with the force if it wasn’t for Dean who came to the rescue.

Rescue her ass.

He was the reason she would have fell anyway.

And why the hell was he was still holding her?!

She tried to shake his hands off from her waist but he had a pretty tight hold. She could feel his hot breath on her neck and it froze her.

“Let me go, everyone is looking.” she breath out, desperately trying to calm her heart.

In a snap she was turned to face him. Her heart almost stopped, meeting his darkened eyes.

His eyes immediately soften. The way his eyes changed its emotions always surprised her for even his eyes were bipolar like his personality.

“Why is my claim covered?”

Excuse me?

Claim?

What is this? A werewolf thing?

She knew he noticed her unimpressed look but damn if he gave a fuck. He looked as serious as anyone can get. How was she supposed to answer such a ridiculous question?

She needs to get her emotions straight first.

Was she even angry? Yes, she was very embarrassed and felt self-conscious but was she angry at him? He was treating her like an object which he owned and yet, the thought had taken her breath away.

Of all the people, she found a sadist to befriend.

“I am not your property.”

He stared at her blankly for a long while. Searching her face for something, weighting her words and then he sighed softly.

“It doesn’t matter. Everyone already knows anyway.”

“Know what?” she demanded. Could he back off? She couldn’t breathe!

“That I love you.”

She felt like someone had paralyzed her, some unseen force was holding her. She wasn’t breathing, seeing, feeling anything. It was like everything was on fire around her and yet, she was standing within it- untouched. God, she couldn’t breathe. She has heard those a million times. Even before he had left two years ago- these words have left his mouth sometimes unconsciously. The times they have laid on the rooftop, staring at stars or the time he had walked her to class. It was complete random times and it was spoken like a statement, or habit and she had taken it as that. But since his return, when he spoke those words- they have frozen her. Burned her and shattered something inside her.

He said those words again, the same way he had two years ago. Nothing like last night but emotions dancing in his eyes were messing her whole system. The voice was the same from two years ago but the eyes were of a man declaring his love, putting his whole world in hand of someone.

Or had it always been like this?

Once again, she thought why suddenly she could understand everything that went through his head, why she could recognize every emotion in his eyes.

“Stop looking at me which such eyes in front of so many people, I might not be able to stop myself.” he whispered so quietly that she barely heard him. He let her go slowly and moved his lips in a somewhat, grim smile and walked away.

She stood, still frozen.

That bastard.

She suddenly wanted to cry.

She was so tired. He needs to stop messing up with her head.

“What the fuck was that?” the demand unfroze her and made her meet the furious eyes of June. A flash of emotion went through her eyes which made Sara blink in surprise but it was gone as soon as it has come.

Maybe it was her imagination.

“I don’t know anymore.” she murmured and start walking towards her next class, June beside her.

“He really need to watch it and you; you need to tell him off.” June sneered and Sara felt a zip of irritation go through her. She shook it off but the question once again made her confused; Why was June talking this way?

Sure, she has never liked Dean much, even in start but the feelings were mutual from both sides. Dean also hated June but June had never been so vocal with the hatred. She has displayed her dislike every now and then but it has contained of a comment or two or just glares and sneers. Dean had never done anything to make her hate him that much.

This was getting too much for her little brain.

The next class went without a hitch because Dean didn’t come. She was disappointed and relieved at the same time and it just made her even more frustrated. Can’t she have one feeling at a time? Was it so much to ask?

June seemed to be in better mood when Dean didn’t arrive in the next period either or lunch. In fact, she was back to herself, chatting about the upcoming new series or something making Sara brush off her before thoughts. June was fine, she was just seeing things, useless things.

But that still didn’t quiet down the voices in her head.

She had glanced around a hundred times, hoping and not too- to see him. It was as if every fiber of her body felt him, was aware that he was back- within reach. And as her body knew he was back, it wanted to be as close to him as possible. But there was the other part, the brutally hurt part which was getting smaller in size with every passing minute with Dean but it was still alive and it came to the surface every time he tried to get close. She remembers those sleepless nights, those nightmares- those frustrations and hopelessness. Not knowing whether he was alive or not, not knowing anything. Could she really forget that?Text property © Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org.