Healing The Ruthless Alpha

Healing The 69

Sihana’s POV

“Let’s forget about Silver Moon,” 1 urged Cahir but he shut me down at once.

“No.” The cold finality in his tone made me wince. At this rate, the plan of keeping him away from bloodshed would fail before it began.

“Do you – Will you consider it, at least?” I asked, biting my lips while my stomach fluttered.

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“No.” His words were final and his tone warned against the pursuing the matter further. I didn’t know when to stop but the red light was so clear that I didn’t dare push the matter.

–

“If you – The bloodlust – Isn’t it aggravated when you do things like this?” I asked, clearing my throat at the end and looking at a spot behind him.

“The bloodlust,” he mumbled, then he pulled my note towards him and reread what I’d written. “What are you doing, belle?” His eyes cut to me and I looked away

“Just – Just that – What I planned suddenly felt ridiculous when he asked like that with a bland tone and blank eyes. I felt silly- as if he was silently berating me for being presumptuous. “You said – And your eyes I’d been the first to see his eyes turn golden and live so now I wanted to make sure his eyes never turned golden again.

He laughed, the sound like a bucket of ice water being dumped on my head. It filled me with a chill that made me stiffen and swallow through my dry throat.

“You think you can cure me of bloodlust?” He laughed again, the boisterous sound echoing around the

I was scared someone outside would hear but he laughed and laughed and laughed until my heart fell to the pit of my stomach and the dangerous wafting off him choked me. His hand around my waist tightened when I tried to put distance between us.

“Have I become your little project now, Sihana? A beast for you to tame?” The words cut into my heart, dipped in venom.

I had never prayed for the ground to swallow me up as fervently as I did then. I wanted to run. disappear- whatever would save me from the heat of humiliation spreading through my skin.

hide,

“It’s not – It’s not “Words deserted me. The only thing I felt then was fear eating at me, suffocating me.

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I’d made a mistake it was obvious in the chilly air around him.

“Answer me.” He forced my chin up and our eyes met. His eyes were neither dark nor red.

I closed my eyes. A cold sweat broke out from my forehead and I felt nauseous. Why Why did he have to be like this?

“Sihana Asena” I opened my eyes but didn’t dare look into Cahir’s. I hated the colour I saw. It frightened me. Those eyes would frighten any sane wolf who knew what they meant.

‘He wants us to be frightened, Asena’s quiet words echoed in my head. ‘He is trying to scare us away.

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But Why?” I asked my wolf, looking everywhere but my mate.

–

“Who knows?” Asena sounded sad and worn down. I understood that feeling.

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“Cahir-” I started but then stopped, contemplating my words. He was already angry, one wrong word and he may get tipped over the edge..

Yes, he was trying to scare me away. It was obvious now that Asena pointed it out. That’s why he showed me those scary eyes, Cahir Armani, what thoughts go on in your head?

“I am not an experiment to be taken on,” he snarled at me, his grip on my waist tightening. “Don’t annoy me with this nonsense.”

“Do you – Do you realize, Cahir” My words were jumbled.

I wanted to remind him that we were mates. Our lives were tied together for all of eternity. If he went over the edge, Asena would not be able to survive it and I didn’t want to watch him fall. I didn’t want

to love Cahir. I didn’t love him yet but my heart was starting to waver. Why didn’t he see I didn’t want to lose him? Not to another woman, not to death and definitely not to bloodlust.

te what?” He asked, his voice becoming level. It was a sign that he’d reined in his anger but I could

feel it bristling beneath the surface. We were connected, after all. His emotions flowed into me.

“We are mates,” I finally said. “If anything happens to you –”

“Do you think I am weak enough to succumb to bloodlust?” He asked in a harsh tone. “Who do you think I

am?”

Ah, I forgot. The great Cahir Armani.

A bout of annoyance shot through me and I opened my mouth to say something unwise but I caught myself.

“There are voices in your head, aren’t there –” I started.

“There have been voices in my head for seven years. They may have been there for longer, who knows? Do you think I don’t have the willpower to suppress them” His voice became calm again.

Seven years. It was a long time to live on the edge. As far as I knew, it didn’t take more than a month for people who heard voices in their heads to tip over and become rogue. Then again, Cahir already had the golden eyes of a rogue but he hadn’t turned rogue yet

“You’re strong,” I acknowledged.

No other man would have achieved the feet he had in his life. He was strong with unbeatable willpower but it didn’t mean he could resist the urges of bloodlust forever.

You’re very strong,” I continued. “But don’t be silly.” The words slipped from my lips and I shivered, waiting for his outburst. It didn’t come so I continued. “Do you like the compulsions of bloodlust? If there’s a way to get rid of the voices, wouldn’t it be better than exercising restraint every day of your life?” I

asked.

He looked at me with an unfamiliar expression. To me, most of his expressions were unfamiliar. When he didn’t say anything for over a minute, my heart started to constrict with my throat drying up.

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“You should be scared.” Those words washed over me, chilly whisper that terrified me more than his anger

1-1 am.” There was no point lying. “But I’m more scared of losing you.” Heat exploded all over my skin at my confession. It was the most I had ever come to volclog these new emotions swirling inside of me and I feared a negative reaction.

“Yesterday,” he started, his words low and drawn out, “Yesterday, you said you didn’t love me.”

“You’re my mate.” Simple. Straightforward. The truth. “Are you not scared of losing me?” I asked. He looked at me for a long time but his lips did not move so I continued. “Let’s say I die

“Let’s not say that,” he cut me off. “When I say you test my control – you don’t know to what extent.” 1 wouldn’t know but I remembered how he reacted to seeing me in danger. It was, after all, the first sign of bloodlust I saw in him.

If he was as terrified of losing me as I was of losing him, then why didn’t he understand? Did bloodlust not terrify him?

“Does that mean you love me?” I dared to ask.

No 1 winced at how sharp and abrupt the reply was. It’s only the mate bond.”

There was nothing for me to worry about, thanks to said mate bond. We had an eternity to spend together. and if he didn’t love me today, he could love me tomorrow. It was the same for me. We were bonded for life and our bond grew and strengthened with each day that passed.

“Well – Yes. It is the same for me,” I lied. “If there’s a way to reverse how far this has eaten away at you, then I will find it. You’re my mate and I’m not losing you to anyone or anything, including bloodlust,” I

vowed.

“Bloodlust isn’t reversible. I can only maintain the reins of control from this point forward.” It was an option too risky for me to accept as his mate.

“That may be true but it won’t hurt to do some research,” I muttered.

“You’re an idealist, aren’t you?”

“Whatever you say, I won’t I won’t give up.” He nodded slowly as if contemplating my words.

“Do as you wish then.” The side of my lips quirked up at my small victory.

“Then Silver Moon” I pressed forward. “Can we Can we postpone their doom?”

–

“If you insist.” I did a small victory dance in my head but his next words had my ears burning. “I didn’t know you were the possessive type.”

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Healing The Ruthless Alpha