Forced by fate – Destined to be his Wife

“Don’t be nervous. It’s just a simple test and it might be negative.” YuZhi rubbed TangShi’s back lengthways, gently warming her and sounding unusually upbeat. TangShi was perched on the seat in the doctors office, uptight, and stiff, while she fidgeted with her handbag handle and he could sense her apprehension like a thick fog around her. The doctor had left them alone while he took her urine sample to another room for testing and it was a strained atmosphere.

“What if it isn’t? What if it’s positive and….” Her voice trembled and she cut off mid breathy sniff, her fear getting the better of her. TangShi was already a mess this morning, having worked herself up from anxiety to borderline hysterics in getting here to do this. She was internally shaking so badly she felt like she might pass out and her stomach was tying itself in knots.

“Then it might be mine. We had unprotected sex for weeks, right up until that morning. Try not to overthink it and worry about something that might be nothing.” YuZhi was trying to comfort her even though his own guts were churning with nerves and praying this was negative. It would be easier for both of them if it was. Putting on a brave face for her.

“You didn’t need to come. I know this must be hard for you.” TangShi was steeped in guilt today, for all of this and once again blaming herself. Waking up this morning to be sick again which was becoming normal, devastatingly so given what they were here for, and it terrified her. She knew the signs and she was aware she had many. Feeling like she brought this on herself somehow.

“Stop thinking that way. It’s harder for you because it’s you that’s going through this. I can’t imagine how any of this feels so stop worrying about me and how it’ll affect me. I told you, no matter what, we’ll get through it.” YuZhi appeared calm and unemotional. Being the strong wise voice and shoulder to lean on, while hiding his fear and pain under layers of detached aloof. He wanted to show her she could trust him and hid all of his doubts so deep that it was making him nauseous. So much effort going into his demeanor, tone, and expressions, to assure her he wasn’t going anywhere.

“Right, I’m back. Sorry to keep you waiting.” Doctor Huang wandered in smiling softly. Carrying a clip board under his arm as he continued drying his freshly washed hands on a paper towel and tossed it in the waste bin by his desk before sitting down. “The full blood work up and other samples you gave have been sent to the lab for sexual health testing. We will have results in three days about whether you need any kind of STD treatments. As for the pregnancy test…….” He raised his brow, inhaling deeply to steady his own nerves, pausing for a second to find the right way of saying this, as he knew all too well the entire story around this couple. He had been YuZhi’s friend for years and had not been spared a single detail about the visit today in the phone call last night.

“She’s pregnant isn’t she?” YuZhi cut in with a deflated tone, knowing Huang’s mannerisms well enough to see it. Ripping the band aid off instead of waiting out the agony of his silence. A sucker punch to his stomach.

“Yes….. She is.” He nodded with a somber expression. “I’m Sorry Miss. Lei, I know you hoped for a different outcome.” He leaned over patting her on the back of her hand but TangShi was sat numb and motionless, blinking at him as though she hadn’t quite heard what he said.Property belongs to Nôvel(D)r/ama.Org.

“I can’t be.” She breathed out in a whisper, turning wide eyes to YuZhi as they filled with tears and her face crumpled. Her heart shredding with acute slicing pain.

“It’s rare to get a false positive with the tests we use, and I can have your bloodwork double checked to confirm it, but I am certain given your symptoms and examination that you are pregnant. You’re monthly cycle is also late.”

YuZhi had been preparing himself for this since they left his grandfather’s house, and maybe days before. In his gut he already knew the answer so this wasn’t a big a shock to him as it seemed to her. He slid his arm around her and pulled her into his embrace as she was sat beside him. Cradling her head against his neck and rubbing his hand over her hair and cheek to soothe her while she began to shudder and sniff harder.

“It’s okay. It’s going to be okay. It doesn’t mean that it’s his ….. we’ll know when you get your dating scan or due date. Right?” YuZhi was trying to be practical and hold onto some tiny ray of hope to come from all of this.

“Right. We can do an early ultrasound and try and date the size of the fetus. After two weeks, an ultrasound usually can pick up an embryo and you have passed three and a bit weeks since your last intercourse. So even if you fell pregnant then, I’ll be able to see something.”

TangShi burst into proper tears at hearing his words. Unable to control the raw emotion that poured out of her and YuZhi encircled her tiny frame fully, pulling her in and hugging her tight while swaying her side to side like a child. She almost ended up on his lap with the force of his getting her closer but she clung on like he was a life raft in a stormy sea, unable to control her devastation.

“Don’t cry, it’s not good for you to get his upset.” YuZhi didn’t know what else to say and the Doctor watched them quietly and gave them a moment. Awkward himself at this very dramatic reaction from her even if he understood it.

“If I can’t see anything with an abdominal sonogram, then I can do an internal ultrasound. Either way we will be able to get an approximate conception date. That might give you a definite answer right away and cut down the stress.” He wrote down some notes on the paperwork for himself and pressed the intercom buzzer on the right side of his desk.

“Nurse Wang, please can you bring me the portable ultrasound. Thank you.”

“Now?” YuZhi was shocked at the fact they wouldn’t need to wait and yet never stopped holding onto TangShi and wiping her tears as they rolled down her face, with his thumb. “I don’t think she’s in any state to do this now.”

“It’s non evasive. This machine is nothing more than me pressing a pad on her abdomen and having a look. If we need an internal that’s a different set up entirely but it’s better to know and give you both peace of mind right now if we can. I don’t think we should wait.” The doctor felt he was doing what was the best for both of them and hoped conception was clear. “TangShi I need your bladder full for us to get the clearest picture because of its possible size. So I need you to drink some fluids for me. Are you okay with that?”

TangShi lifted her head, unable to stop her tears but nodded, mumbling through sodden sniffles. Agreeing with him that this should be sooner rather than later and tried to pull herself together. Waiting longer would only torture her mind into insanity and she might not have the courage to come back once they left. This was a shock reaction and now she needed to get herself calm and take the next step.

Sliding out of YuZhi’s arm but keeping a hold of his wrist in her two hands, She picked herself back up to a sitting position and shook herself mentally. Needing his support and presence and pushing aside any other thoughts for the time being about the two of them. YuZhi needed to be her rock because she didn’t think she had the strength right now to do this alone. She swallowed a few times and took some deep inhales and managed to calm the crying.

“I haven’t gone in a while. My bladder might already be full.” She answered truthfully, some sense of logic returning with a stabler mood, and was met with a nod and hopeful smile.

“Well, we can give it a try and see, and if it’s not clear we can have you drink and try again. Early on it’s hard to really get a good image but we can hope.”

A second later a gentle knock on the door signaled the nurse entering, and pulling in a large, wheeled trolley that was laden down with monitors and machines and seemed crammed full and oversized for such a tiny room.

“Can I get you to go lie on the bed and expose as much of your abdomen down to below your hips as you can for me. YuZhi can assist or he can wait outside?” The doctor was used to women wanting husbands to stay and knew although complicated in terms of relationship, she might still want him here. After all they were married and this might be YuZhi’s.

TangShi hesitated, looking from YuZhi to the bed by the wall and the thoughts of knowing for certain if this was his child. Weighing up whether he would handle it if it wasn’t and wanting to be selfish and have him take care of her no matter the outcome.

“I want him here.” She responded so quietly it was almost a whispering breath and YuZhi smoothed back the hair from her face that was sticking to her damp tear-soaked skin. Calming her, reassuring her that he would do whatever she needed and pulling her up by the hand to lead her to the bed. Confidence in his mannerism even if inside he was a shaking mess.