Filthy Beautiful Forever(Filthy Beautiful Lies, #4)

MiaMy jetlagged brain struggles to comprehend what just happened.

I can’t seem to wrap my tired brain around it.

Tatianna’s words were sharp and hateful, her venom directed at me. Maybe I deserved it. Hadn’t I just stormed into their life and pulled them apart? But I don’t have that kind of power. I can’t make people do anything they don’t want to do.

Certainly no one can make Collins do anything he doesn’t want to do.

Still, I’m having a hard time understanding what just happened. Did he really just break up with Tatianna? Right in front of me?

Tatianna storms past me, her face filled with so much anger a small shriek escapes me, and I flinch.

Her heels click down the hall and rush up the steps. Somewhere above a door slams.

My eyes are fixed to the floor. I want to look at Collins. I want to know if he’s okay, but I’m scared to look up. I’m scared he’ll be mad at me for coming in here and ruining his perfect life with his supermodel girlfriend.

I’m such a jerk. Why did I come?

I expect Collins to storm out after her, or to curse me out, or something. Instead he remains a few feet away, leaning against the counter. When I finally find the courage to look up at his face he has his phone out. His features are relaxed and don’t give anything away. He taps out a message on his phone. He must be arranging for the movers or something.

I silently watch him, hoping I haven’t completely ruined our friendship by showing up here and messing with his life. Finally, he looks up and sees that I’m still huddled against the wall. Stuffing his phone into his pocket, Collins stalks over to me.

“I’m sorry you had to see that,” he grumbles. His low voice makes me feel even worse.

“It’s okay.” My own voice comes out shaky and quiet. “Are you all right?”

Dark eyes, deep with emotion latch onto mine, and he nods. “Yes.”

He sounds confident, but his eyes and the expression on his face leave me feeling unsure. He’s so guarded and serious. I hate it.

When have I ever felt so unsure around Collins?

Never.

He places his palm against my cheek. “I’m sorry you had to deal with that,” he says softly.

“Don’t worry about it. I don’t mind.” I didn’t like what Tatianna said, but to know that he’s finally free of that controlling woman who is all wrong for him? I’d go through that again in a heartbeat.

I have no idea what happens next, and I’m afraid to ask. I chew on my lip, listening to the sound of heels click around upstairs and doors slam. Collins drops his hand away, but he continues hovering over me, watching me like he’s waiting to see if I really am okay.

“Do you think it’s okay if I go upstairs and shower?” I ask. I’m jetlagged and grubby from the long flight. Plus I can’t help but think Collins must need to be alone right now to process what just went down.

“Of course.” He nods.

I head toward the stairs, feeling Collins’ eyes on me the entire time.

The shower is hot and the water soothing as I wash away the grime from the long flight. But it can’t wash away the guilt I have over coming here in the first place. Collins was always so good at saving me. It’s no wonder that, when I lost my job and had nowhere else to turn, I ran to him. Because if anyone could fix my failing life it was him. But is it fair of me to burden him with my issues? Is it fair of me to expect him to stop everything and rescue me from my pathetic fate? Is it fair of me to hope he’ll drop everything he’s been working for his whole life to build, just to save me?

The answer is so obvious. Hell no. As the hot water pelts my back I search for a way I can make this right, but I can’t. I’ve come in here, messed things up, and now the only thing to do is to leave him alone so that he has time to heal.

I get out of the shower and dry myself off, dressing in a T-shirt. I climb in bed and am just about to turn the light out when my phone rings. It’s Leila.

“Hey,” I answer flatly.

“Mia,” her voice is concerned. “What’s wrong?” She can read me like a book.

“I think it might be time for me to go home. Is that offer for your couch still open?” I ask.

“Of course it is, but what happened?”

“Collins just broke up with her,” I say.

Leila is quiet for a second as if she is trying to understand what I just said. Finally she says, “I don’t get it. If he’s single now, isn’t that what you wanted?”

She’s right. It was what I wanted, but now that it’s happened, I’m not sure it’s right. I don’t think it’s what I want now. “He’s upset. I feel like I’ve screwed up his life by coming here.”

“No,” she says. “You’re over thinking this. You always over think things. You care about him. He cares about you. Just give him some time and space. Breakups are hard.”

I’m not sure it’s the right thing to do, and I tell her this, but Leila is insistent. In the end she talks me into staying a little longer.

Maybe I can help him out somehow. Offer my support, for what it’s worth.

Over the next two days, I give Collins space, spending the bulk of my time applying for more jobs. He isn’t around much anyway, and when he is, he seems to be hard at work, so I don’t bother him. I’ve gotten to the point where I think there really is no reason for me to be here, since we never see each other anyway, when he comes in the kitchen one morning with a smile on his face. The first smile I’ve seen on him in days. I can’t help but feel encouraged and excited by the light in his eyes.

“Good news,” he says. He pulls a stack of papers out from behind his back and places them in front of me with a flourish.Content bel0ngs to Nôvel(D)r/a/ma.Org.

“What is this, your memoirs?” I ask. The stack is thick.

He shakes his head. “It’s a power of attorney, an agreement, and supporting documents from the investigation of your termination.”

“I’m sorry, it’s what?” It’s not that I don’t understand the words he’s using, I just have no idea how they fit together to make any sense, at all. “An agreement to what?”

“I had your boss investigated. They found the proof my attorneys needed to negotiate a settlement for you. They’ll pay you one hundred thousand dollars and agreed to hire you back.”

“You had my boss investigated?” I take a sip of my morning coffee in the hopes it will help me understand everything Collins is springing on me.

“I wanted it to be a surprise, so I had them draw everything up. All they need from you is a signature on the limited power of attorney so they can finish the deal on your behalf.”

Collins looks so happy, yet my face is turning red, and tears pool in my eyes. He negotiated it so that I would get my old job back. I swallow against the huge lump forming in my throat. I want to be happy. God how I want to, because he’s doing it again. He’s saving me from my stupid employment bungle. I should be thanking him. I should take my job back. He’s gotten me a great deal.

But it’s not what I want. I don’t want to move back to Connecticut. I want to be here with him. And more important than that, I want him to want me here, too.

But I guess he doesn’t. I really am a burden to him. One he’s willing to put the time and money into sending far, far away.

I wipe shakily at a tear streaming down my face. “I’m sorry, Collins.”

He tilts my chin up and meets my eyes. “Why are you sorry?”

“I shouldn’t have come,” I murmur, wiping at another stray tear that’s escaped.

“Why not?” His tone is whisper soft, and his expression is full of concern and tenderness.

“Because,” I manage, sucking in a breath, “I charged into your perfect life and ruined everything for you and Tatianna. It’s not your job to rescue me.”

Bringing both hands to my face, his warm palms cup my cheeks and he wipes away the last of my tears. “You haven’t ruined anything. Come sit down and let me explain some things to you.”

“Okay,” I agree, my heart aching and my head spinning with unanswered questions.