FATED BOND

Daisy’s POV

I got an admission into the University of Nevada, two months to Ellah’s first birthday. I had always wanted to study English related courses to improve my skills at writing. Even though I had lost hope on ever becoming a great author someday, Nina wouldn’t hear that of me. And Larry too.

Ever since the incident with him, our relationship with each other has been so casual. Nina noticed the coldness and questioned me.

I told her Larry said he likes me and she urged me to let it work.

I didn’t expect that from her. I thought she was going to support my decision of remaining single, if not for anything but for my daughter. But Nina was against the fact that I rejected him, and my lost interest in writing.

“I’ve never seen Larry this serious since I’ve known him, Dee”, she had told me. “Except for when work comes knocking, though.”

The way she called me Dee reminded me of Maria. She used to call me Dee-dee.

I was speechless at first. I didn’t know how best to reply to her. I had no reason at all for rejecting him. I just used my baby as an excuse and I knew it.

Ellah was the least of my problems. She was a good girl and she barely gave me a hard time. I made sure to see her before going to school every morning and I played with her in the evening.

The first day she called me mama, I was overwhelmed. I felt like a real mother for the very first time. I hugged her to myself and showered her with kisses. She was my joy, my hope and my life. She was all that mattered.

“You need to get your life back, Daisy. You don’t need to keep dwelling in the past”, Nina shook my shoulder, jerking me out of my thoughts.

“Mom, I’m not dwelling in the past”, I Insisted.

“Of course you are. Look at you. You are young, smart and beautiful.”

“Mom”, I groaned.

“You need to go on dates. Enjoy your life while you can. You can’t be single all your life.”

“What if that’s what I want, mom? Look at you. You are a successful woman and you are happy. I want to be like you.”

She shook her head sadly and moved closer. “No, Daisy. You can’t be like me. Nobody wants me but Larry wants you. We are two different people.”

“I don’t feel any attraction whatsoever towards Larry. I only see him as a friend. I can’t force myself to love him, mom.”

She sighed and looked at me. “You think I’m happy?” She asked me and I couldn’t speak.

I was surprised at the question. I know Nina to be carefree. She makes herself happy and the people around her. Why the question?

“Mom, aren’t you happy?” I asked back.

She shook her head again and a tear dropped from her eyes. I was dumbfounded and I quickly pulled her into an embrace.

My assumptions were wrong. Nina wasn’t happy like I had assumed. Something was missing in her almost perfect life.

I had always envied her secretly. I feel she has it all. A son, a good career, the popularity, the wealth, the respect and the power, she had it all. Her life was perfect, I had thought. She was happy with her life and earning a living from her passion.

But at that moment, when she cried, a part of me felt relieved that at least she isn’t perfect, just like the rest of us. She is human after all, I thought to myself.

Nina always knows the right thing to say and when to say it. She was kind to people and generous. She was caring and loyal to a fault. I never saw her with a frown. I never saw her sad, she was always smiling face.

But it became clear to me that behind that face lies a heart that has been shattered years ago and yet to heal from the pain. At that moment, I could see it all in her eyes, the overbearing pain, the unbearable hurt, the long wait, the unforgettable betrayal and the lost love that was gone forever, with no hope of ever finding it. I could see it all In her eyes.

“Mom”, I called as she let out all the pains and sorrow. She didn’t answer and I let her be, rubbing my hand, back and forth her back, as she shed tears, which eventually subsidized and turn into a sob.

“Daisy, I can’t keep up with the pretense any more. I am dying inside”, she finally said with a tear-stained face.

“Don’t say that, mom. We need and love you more than you could ever imagine. Damien needs you, I need you too, so is Ellah. I’m sorry for reminding you about the past. It wasn’t in my intention to bring back bad memories.”

“That’s why I don’t want you to be like me. I want you to be better than me. Be a better person, Daisy. We share the same fate, but you can’t remain single for the rest of your life, just like I am. My heart is suffering.”

“Mom, what is the matter? Is it about Damien’s father?” I finally summoned up the courage to ask. She smiled sadly and nodded. “You still love him after all these years?”

“I can’t help it, Daisy. He is the only man my heart craves for.”

I sighed, looking at her. Nina deserves to be happy. Why has this one thing been deprived of her? She makes other people happy, why can’t she be genuinely happy too?

“Do you love your baby father too?” Her question caught me off guard and I didn’t know how to reply to her.

I didn’t want to lie to her so I replied, seconds later with all honesty.

“Unfortunately, I fell in love with him.”

“Oh My God, Daisy!”, she gasped and hugged me fiercely. I found the hug comforting and I was beginning to feel the urge to cry too when she pulled away.

“I don’t even know if the idiot is still alive or dead. He couldn’t even look for me and here I am, beating myself up for someone I don’t even know if he exists.” I ranted.

I continued as Nina kept looking at me without uttering a word. “Sometimes, I feel angry at him. I feel he took advantage of me. He didn’t care a bit about me. I was like every other girl to him, just a fling. That was all I meant to him, he used and dumped me afterwards”, I burst into tears.

“Come on, look at Ellah, isn’t she worth it? If I were you, I wouldn’t say I was used and dumped. Daisy, it was a night of pleasure for you too. Or you want to deny you didn’t enjoy every bit of it?” There was a smirk on her face and I couldn’t help but blushed at the remembrance, in spite of my tears.

“I did, mom. More reason why I hate him”, I half-yelled, covering my red face.Belonging © NôvelDram/a.Org.

“You miss him too badly, that’s why. You don’t hate you”, she pointed out.

“I do.”

She rolled her eyes and pulled me closer. “You don’t need to be hard on yourself”, she remarked and we both fell silent.

“Is that why you rejected Larry?” She suddenly asked.

I jerked my head up as my heart began to beat widely in fear. “What?”

“Be sincere with me, baby. You rejected Larry because of him, right?” I nodded and she smiled.

“What is his name?”

“The idiot refused to tell me his name”, I retorted. “I thought I told you.”

She laughed hard. “And I’m sure you were enjoying his service so much that you forgot to point out the fact that you two don’t know each other’s name.”

“The idiot knows my name.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. But I gave him the name Daniel. Someone called him that but I’m not sure if it’s really his name.”

“So how was he?”

“What?” I asked in confusion.

“How was he? Was he gentle? Was he rough and romantic?”

“Mom”, I grunted in embarrassment.

“What? Come on, talk to me. My Amar was a slow and steady man. He was a good lover, more reason why I can’t get over him.”

“Hmm, he was rough, mom.”

“But you enjoyed it?”

“Yeah, it was painful at first ”

“You were a virgin? He disvirgined you?” She was wide-eyed.

“Yes, he did. I wanted to know what it feels like to be kissed because my friend, Maria wouldn’t stop talking about her kiss with her boyfriend and we ended up having sex.”

“Epic”, she grinned. “Love at first sight, just like mine.”

“No, mom. He doesn’t love me.”

“How do you know that?” She asked with a raised brow.

I shrugged.

“Don’t be paranoid.”

“You still love your baby father, mom”, I stated. “How then do you want to get over mine”, she sighed and stared into space, for a while.

“My love for Amar is endless. It was supposed to be a childish infatuation but it turned out to be true love. It was love at first sight, Daisy”, she turned to look at me.

“The chemistry was there. We couldn’t resist each other. That one night changed my life. It was just as if our skin touching has engraved something that is impossible to erase in our heart. Amar loves me as much as I do but obligations stopped him from coming for his true love. I didn’t let him fight for our love. I let him go because I felt we were not meant to be. We were from different worlds, I wasn’t even sure if my father would accept a foreigner to be his son-in-law. I had to let go. I didn’t want to be selfish.”

“But here you are, suffering for not being selfish.”

“Yes. I regret it, Daisy. Every minute of my life. I tried to go on dates but it kept reminding me of him so I stopped. That one night turned into a nightmare for me. It haunted me for years. I couldn’t even console myself with the fact that we would be together someday.”

“But he left you with a precious gift. Your son is enough consolation.”

“Yes, he is but I feel I am destined to be alone for the rest of my life. Damien is a man, he would get married someday and move out. That is when my real nightmare will begin.”

“Don’t say that. You’ve forgotten so soon that you have a little baby in the house now? I and Ellah will be here with you. This is our home now, isn’t it?”

“Of course, it is and I love you both.”

“We love you too.”

“I still want Amar in my next life, Daisy. But I won’t let him go again. I’ll hold on to him tightly if God gives me that chance. I won’t let go of him for other people’s happiness. I believe mine should come first. I can’t be unfortunate now and even in the next life. Or don’t I deserve to be a happy woman, Daisy?” She grimaced.

“You deserve all the good things in life, mom. You are a good woman that any man would love to have.” I embraced her tightly.

“I doubt that.”

“Believe me. What can I do to make you happy?”. She disengaged from the hug and smiled at me, pinching the bridges of my nose as I giggled.

“Just be happy. Your happiness is my happiness.”

“Alright, mom. I love you.”

“I love you too, darling. I would have said I want you here forever but that would be impossible because you are a female. You will also get married someday.”

“What if I say I don’t want to get married?” I questioned her.

“What? Why will you say that?” She demanded with a frown.

“Simply because I also do not believe in happily ever after” I grinned and stared at her gobsmacked face.