Ex-Husband's Regret



"It's okay, Lilly-Bear. I'm just about to have the baby... Remember what I told you will happen when it's time?"

She nods her head. "Yes. You said you'd be in pain, but I shouldn't worry because that's part of bringing the baby into the world."

"Good," I wince as another contraction hits me. "That's what's happening right now, so don't be afraid."

Gabriel grabs my hand and helps me out of the room. I breathe through my nose and out of my mouth, but let's be honest. That doesn't really help. Does it?

"I just don't understand. Why do you have to be in pain? Why can't the baby just come out of you without causing you pain?"

The last thing I want is to traumatize my daughter by explaining to her that the pain is necessary for pushing the baby out of me. She'll want to know why the baby needs to be pushed out, and I'll have to explain it's because the baby is big and my passage is smaller, so those contractions are needed to push the baby out. Then she'll want to know what passage that is, and I'll have to tell her that a baby comes out through the vajayjay.

As you can see, that is not a conversation she's ready for. She'll be traumatized when she learns how a baby really comes into the world.

"Fuck," I growl when another one hits me.

"Language." Both father and daughter tell me at the same time.

"Are you seriously asking me to mind my language now?" I snap at them, my hand squeezing the daylights out of Gabriel's.

*You seem angry, mommy."

*You think?" I glare at her just as we get outside.

The driver sees us and quickly opens the door. Gabriel gently ushers me in before both he and Lilly get in too. *Call Ava... Let her know," I instruct.

I close my eyes and try to breathe through the pain. Fuck it! Why do we put ourselves through this over and over again? I swore after having Lilly and going through that pain that I'd never have another baby. Yet here I am. Gabriel and Lilly convinced me. I completely forgetting that they wouldn't be the ones going through the labor pains.

"Why are the contractions coming in so fast? Your water just broke. Doesn't it start slowly before it builds up?" Gabriel asks in concern, his hand rubbing my back.Content (C) Nôv/elDra/ma.Org.

"Once the water breaks, all hell breaks loose. My contractions started yesterday."

A look of horror takes over his face before he literally bursts. "Why the hell didn't you tell me?"

*Because I didn't think much of it. I thought they were just Braxton hicks since we still had a week to go."

"I hate this. I hate seeing you in pain," he mumbles.

I completely ignore his heartfelt words. "Well, you are the one that wanted another baby," I snap, which makes him shut his mouth and look at me as if I stole his most precious possession.

The drive to the hospital is a complete blur. I spent it mostly trying to fight the pain and my tears. I also had to stop myself from strangling Gabriel each time a contraction hit me. I was in pain, miserable and angry at Gabriela and Lilly for convincing me to have another baby.

My doctor was on standby. The moment we got to the hospital, I was wheeled to my room, where Gabriel helped me change.

"Things seem to be moving quite fast. Are you ready to bring your baby into the world?" Macy, my doctor asks with a smile on her face.

Gosh. How can she be so happy when I am so miserable? What is wrong with her?

I don't answer. Instead, I frown and clench my fist when yet another contraction hits me. This one is really painful.

"I feel like pushing." I mumble, fighting back the tears. "I need to push."

"That's good. Just a couple of minutes. Let's get you to the labor room first," she answers as they begin wheeling me out of my room.