Chapter 21 – Confession
Nicholas POV
It’s been ten minutes since Aunt Ella left and no one spoke a word to anyone. Anthony took me to a corner and we both talked in whispers.
“Look I know you and Monica aren’t serious but you have to stay behind Nicholas. That’s what married people do. They stay by each other’s side ”
“But all these are fake Anthony? We aren’t tight” I said, emphasizing what I and Monica had.
“Do you want to tell them that?” Anthony asked, referring to everyone who knew about Monica and me. I stared at the floor, unable to meet his gaze. “Then I suggest you behave like a loving husband and stop being so cold,” he continued, his voice softer now but still firm. “Loosen up a little, Nicholas. Give yourself a chance to love and feel how it is to be loved.” I felt a lump form in my throat, my mind racing. Anthony’s words struck a chord deep within me, challenging the walls I had built around my heart.
“I see the way you look at Monica,” Anthony said, stepping closer, his eyes searching mine. “I know you feel something for her, but you’re just too afraid to admit it. Too afraid to let your guard down.”
I clenched my fists, the truth of his words piercing through my defenses.
“You think you’re protecting yourself by keeping everyone at arm’s length,” Anthony continued, his tone both gentle and insistent. “But in reality, you’re just hurting the people who care about you the most. You’re hurting Monica.”
I looked up, meeting his gaze for the first time. His eyes were filled with concern and a deep understanding that made me feel exposed.
“You’re right,” I whispered, my voice barely audible. “I am scared. Scared of losing the baby, scared of being hurt by a woman. You know how much my mum was hurt when she found out that my dad had another child outside”
I could remember the pain in my mother’s eyes when she found out from the private investigator that my father’s secretary had a son for him. Love made a mess out of her and I always blamed her for falling in love with my dad because if she wasn’t in love with him, she wouldn’t have been hurt that he cheated on her and wouldn’t have died from a heart attack.
Anthony nodded, a small, encouraging smile on his lips. “Monica is falling in love with you, Nicholas. Can’t you see that?” He paused, sighing deeply before continuing, “I know the story, Nicholas. Aunt was hurt because she loved Uncle so much, and hearing that he cheated on her broke her heart. But you can’t let the past of your late parents prevent you from feeling loved.”
“I don’t know, Anthony. I don’t know what to do. All this is new to me,” I admitted, my voice low and filled with uncertainty. “I can’t end up like my late mum. I don’t want to be hurt because of a simple thing like love.”
Anthony’s expression softened, his eyes filled with empathy. “I understand, Nicholas. But you have to learn. If you want to change, then you have to learn how to love. Let her in, Nicholas. Show her that you care. Be the husband she deserves.”
Seeing how my mother ended up made me realize that love wasn’t worth it. The experience of my mother’s heartbreak had kept me guarded and distant. But seeing Monica in pain was tearing me apart.
Anthony stepped closer, placing a hand on my shoulder. “You’re stronger than you think. Love isn’t a weakness, Nicholas. It’s a strength. It’s what makes us human, what makes life worth living. Don’t let the past keep you from experiencing it.”Belonging © NôvelDram/a.Org.
I met his gaze, the conviction in his eyes striking a chord deep within me. “You’re right,” I whispered, the realization dawning on me. “I can’t keep living in the past. I have to give Monica-and myself-a chance.”
I took a deep breath, feeling all my emotions pressing down on me but I knew the fear of the past wasn’t that great anymore. Monica deserved better, and I knew this from the onset but I just didn’t want to be the man she wanted.
“Thank you,” I said, my voice steadier now. “I’m not promising anything but I’ll try to be a good man for her.”
Anthony clapped a hand on my shoulder, his smile widening. “That’s the spirit. Now go to her. Show her that you’re in this together, no matter what.”
I nodded, turning towards the door that led back to Monica’s room. Each step felt like shedding a layer of the cold armor I had wrapped around my heart. As I reached the door, I paused, taking one last deep breath before pushing it open.
Monica lay in the hospital bed, her face still pale and drawn, but her eyes flickered open as I entered. She looked at me, a mixture of sadness and uncertainty in her gaze. She turned her face to the other side clearly stating the fact that she didn’t want to look or see me.
“How are you feeling?” I asked in worry.
“Pain” she responded “Pain is all I feel” I felt guilt move around my body and I wished I could turn back the hand of time to correct my mistakes.
Silence lingered in the room as I thought hard about how to begin another conversation.
“I’ve something to say to_” I tried saying but she cut me short
“Can I speak first?” she said slowly and calmly as her eyes slowly filled with tears “I can’t Nicholas. I can’t do this anymore”
At that moment, the fear and doubt that was lost before began to resurface as I stared at her in fear, hoping what I was thinking wasn’t what she was saying.
“What do_ you_mean? I uttered, fear evident in my words as I stammered.
“Let’s end the contract, Nicholas. It’s not working. Everything isn’t going as planned. This is my request and I hope you grant it” she uttered, her voice trembling as she averted her gaze.