BREAKING POINT

She wanted him desperately tonight. She was in labor. If Jeremy had been her husband he would have been here to hold her hand and she would have clung to him. Loving him so much she wouldn’t have been frightened at all. For the first time for a long while she felt a sick, crying need for him. She wished to God he were not so far away and that he knew…. Knew what was going to happen to her tonight.

Tonight she was going to have his child.

Perhaps not tonight, but tomorrow. People said this could go on for hours. So far she had only had two proper pains. She called down to Joey a note of high pitched excitement.

“Joey, the baby won’t arrive before you get back, will it.”

He laughed back at her.

“Afraid not, Penny. I can’t promise you it will be as quick as that”

“I don’t think I want it to be” she called. “I want the nurse to be here”

“I will have her here in no time. Hold on” came Joey’s voice. “And don’t get yourself worked up. There are millions of babies born everyday all over the world and there’s nothing to be worried about”.

Thst was what he said. That was what he hoped for. But he did convince himself as he walked out of the house towards his car. The last xray had not been quite as satisfactory as Doctor James wanted. Not as satisfactory as he wanted either. Penny might have a protracted labor and the doctor would have to do a bit of smart work. He almost wished they had her in the hospital, but this was what Penny wanted. Still, the doctor and nurse were both good and he trusted them.

I’m Penny’s room Audrey was trying to persuade Penny to get into bed, but she seemed to want to stay up. She sat clutching her dressing gown around her, shivering a little.

“Do you think it will be long, Audrey? Do you think it will hurt? The doctor says it doesn’t matter how slim you are, it’s the size of your pelvis that counts. How long do you think Joey will be bringing the nurse. She must be ready by now. Joey called her before he left”

“About ten minutes, Penny, so try not to worry. I’m sure they are on their way now” said Audrey. “Let’s start getting this ready, shall we?”.

Penny wanted to say that she could help, but somehow she did not dare get off the edge of the bed. She sat rigid watching Audrey move in her quiet sensible fashion around the room. She brought in the case which the doctor had ordered. Looking at it, Penny felt slightly revolted and terrified. The rubber sheet, the huge packet of cotton, disinfectant….. Audrey was preparing a table and making it all look like a hospital. In a moment Penny wound have to get off the bed while she got that ready too. When would the next pain come? There had been ten minutes between the last two…. Ah! There it was. She doubled up suddenly with a gasp and Audrey was by her side, holding her.

It did not last long. That was one comforting thing, but already her brow was wet with perspiration. Audrey took a handkerchief and wiped it, saying gently, “What a hellish time women have. It’s a darned shame the men can’t have a bit of this too”

Penny knew that she was think of Jeremy and it renewed her vast desolate need of him. If only he could be here to comfort her tonight. If only he could help her through this ordeal. She did not hate him because he had given her this baby, because she was going to suffer this night of pain because of him. Their baby had been conceived out of their tremendous, overwhelming passion for each other, and if things had been different, she would have wanted it with all her heart. She did want it.

It was all right when there was no pain. She could sit and chat to Audrey and feel thrilled because Audrey was brining out the tiny clothes, and the cot. Blue for a boy, it must be a boy… A son who looked like Jeremy.

Oh God. Another pain.

The sweat broke out on Penny’s forehead. She was panting as Audrey held on to her.

“I won’t have much more of this, will I?” she gasped.

“Oh Penny” said Audrey. “You have only just begun, you know. You must be brave. Not that I would be at all brave in your shoes. But I know it will be easier for you if you try to bear it and not let it frighten you”

“I think it’s because Jeremy isn’t here” said Penny

That seemed to Audrey the most pitiful thing she had ever heard from Penny’s lips. She, Audrey, could have murdered Jeremy if he walked into this room at this moment. It was so dreadful to see Penny suffering, and she knew it wouldn’t be much better for poor Joey, loving Penny as he did.

It was not going to be a good night for any of them.

Audrey drew the curtains apart a little and opened the casement an inch or two to let in the cold night air. The stars were shining brilliantly and it was unusually warm and serene. She turned back to Penny.

“It’s a beautiful night, Penny. You like the air coming in, don’t you?”

“Yes” agreed Penny. “I feel stifled”

“Will you let me leave you for a moment while I go downstairs and put on some kettles”This content belongs to Nô/velDra/ma.Org .

“Why kettles?” asked Penny

“Nurse Caroline is sure to want lots of hot water”

Penny set her teeth.

“Alright, go down but don’t leave me long”

“I will be back in a jiffy”

And Audrey came back bounding up the stairs two at a time when she heard Penny’s voice, full of urgency, full of potency.

“Audrey…. Audrey. It’s coming again”

Then mercifully, Joey returned with Nurse Caroline.

Penny suffered with clenched teeth those regular pains which had almost a rhythm, flowing one after the other and felt the insistent, so dreadfully persistent efforts of her unborn child trying to make it’s way into the world.

Nothing would stop it now. Penny knew that well enough and In between the pains she was filled with a sense of foreboding. She was trapped. She couldn’t get away from the pain. It was pursuing her, and it would get worse. Nurse Caroline said so with the cheerful jargon of her kind.