Beneath the Surface

JaxThis content © Nôv/elDr(a)m/a.Org.

I still can’t believe that I had sex with Lexie last night! Jesus Christ I had so little control that I fucked her against the wall not even making it to her bedroom. It didn’t cross my mind until I got home that this was her first time having sex since the attack, and I felt like an even bigger asshole. Yeah I asked her if she was sure before I went any further and made sure she was okay with it, but I sure as hell wasn’t gentle about it. Plus, I walked away as soon as we were finished. I acted like a complete asshole! I should have stayed to make sure she was okay with what had happened, and to make sure I didn’t hurt her. But no! I acted like a douche bag, and walked away.

I want to go apologize and talk to her now, but I saw Shawn and Tyler pull up. Not exactly a conversation I want to have with witnesses, so I’ll have to wait. Hopefully they aren’t staying in town long, because I’m not real sure how long I’ll be able to wait without going insane.

After I came home last night, and calmed my ass down from the panic of losing control, I realized that I actually want to be with Lexie. I actually want to try this relationship and see where it goes. I’m already halfway in love with her. I’ve been falling for her slowly over the last two months while trying to avoid her. From the things that I have seen she’s a strong, amazing woman. She’s a wonderful mom. More than once I’ve watched from my window as she played football or baseball in the yard with them. She has no problem going outside and rolling in the grass and getting dirty with them. I remember the way she was calming Jason after his nightmare. She’s loving, and caring despite what she’s been through. Hopefully I didn’t ruin my chance with her when I walked away last night.

*********

Lexie

I’m lying on the loveseat with my legs hanging over one of the arms watching TV. While Shawn is in the kitchen making more popcorn and Tyler ran upstairs to grab his phone charger. Carson is sitting on the floor in front of my loveseat with his back against it down close to my legs. He showed up a couple hours ago to hang out. I’m not sure why he came here instead of to Jax’s, but I’m not complaining.

We’re having a movie night. We decided to watch as many Fast and Furious movies as we can before we fall asleep. No way can we get through them all in one sitting. It’s already 10 pm and we are only on the second one.

All the sudden glass shatters and I feel something slam into my head. Carson jumps over me to try and protect me from the glass falling around me, but it’s too late. I already feel a throbbing in the side of my head that came from something besides glass, and a stinging sensation in my forehead and know that I’ve been cut. Shawn comes running in from the kitchen only a couple seconds later, and he takes off out the front door with his gun in his hand.

Carson leans back and looks at me. “Are you okay?” I nod and he pulls his shirt off and pushes it to the side of my head, “Hold that there. Put pressure on it. I’ll be right back” He pulls a gun out. Where the hell did that come from? He takes off running out the door after Shawn.

Tyler comes walking down the stairs a few seconds later, “Hey what the hell was that loud crashing sound? Shawn breaking your stuff?” His eyes widen as he sees me holding a shirt to my head and covered in glass. “Holy shit, what the hell happened?” He runs over to me and moves the shirt to see my head, and he winces when he gets a look at it. “Damn, you’re going to need stitches. What the fuck happened Lexie?”

I shrug my shoulders, “I’m not really sure. It all happened so fast. I was laying here thinking and all of the sudden glass shattered and something hit me and…..” I trail of as my eyes land on the brick laying on the couch next to me. “Mother fucker!” I grab it and hold it up for Tyler to see.

“That son of a bitch! Where are Shawn and Carson?”

“They ran outside right after it happened. Hopefully they catch the asshole. “He nods, and says he’s calling the cops.

“Just go next door and knock on Jax’s door. He is the cops, and it’s much faster.” He nods and heads out the door.

A few seconds later Carson and Shawn come back inside. My eyes fall to Carson’s torso and I suck in a breath. I suddenly realize why he understands me so well. Someone hurt him at some point too. He has what looks like cigarette burns on his shoulders, and a few round scars on his abdomen too big to be from cigarettes, but I’m not sure what left them. I meet his eyes and he’s watching me look at him. Like he’s waiting to see if I’m disgusted by his scars. I know exactly what that feels like but come on! He’s seen mine. He has to know his won’t bother me. I hold my hand out to him and he grabs it and sits down next to me.

“What the fuck is going on?” Jax storms into the living room. When he sees me he rushes over. He pulls the shirt back to look at my head. “Damn Lex, you’re bleeding everywhere! Are you okay? Does it hurt?” I hold my hand out and turn it side to side to say so, so. “I called an ambulance while I ran over. They should be here any minute.” I nod my head. He sits next to me and pulls me onto his lap and wraps his arms around me. I push my face into his neck and start to relax as I breathe in his scent. He always smells so damn good!

I hear Carson grunt, “Well it’s about damn time.”

We both flip him off at the same time and everyone chuckles. I see Shawn watching us out of the corner of my eye. I don’t care what he thinks. All I care about right now is the pain in my head, and the fact that Jax’s arms around me makes me feel a little bit better and a whole lot safer.

That mother fucker better get his hands off her! I watched the two dumb asses run out thinking they’re going to catch me. The idiots can’t find me when I’m close enough to watch everything. I watched the cop run across the yard to her house and watched him pull her into his lap. I want to pull my gun out and shoot the fuckin asshole right now, but that will just ensure that I go to jail. I’m not trying to get caught. I’m not that stupid.

I watch as the ambulance pulls in and the cop carries her out to it. I notice the way she’s clinging to him and decide right then and there that she has to die. How dare her betray me again! Didn’t she learn her fucking lesson the first time? Apparently not! Well she doesn’t need to worry about learning it this time. Because she’s not going to survive long enough. Stupid bitch! I thought she was special! I thought she was perfect! SHE IS MINE! Turns out she’s a whore like all the rest of them. She’s still mine though. She’s mine to decide what happens to, and I’ve decided. It might not be today or tomorrow but she will die soon, and her fucking cop is going to die too for touching what’s mine!