Bad Love: An Alpha's Regret

Chapter 349

I laugh nervously.

“We already covered that, you told me this once before,” I say. “I’m a wolf, remember?”

However, Ronan leans across the table and catches my hand.

“No, Emily. I know what you really are. What you had become by

the time you escaped the old Roberts Alpha.”

I snatch my hand back, my heart thrumming in my chest.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

I’m on the verge of panic as I get up from the table and blindly

rush out of the coffee shop.

Out on the street, I don’t even know where I’m going, I just know I

need to get away.

Away from Ronan.

Away from the truth.

I hurry down the block and then turn randomly into an alleyway,

however I soon discover it’s a dead end.

Frustrated with myself, I spin to go back the way I came, only to

find Ronan standing there.

I didn’t even realize he’d followed me.

“Emily,” he says entreatingly, holding out his hands. “Just hear

me out, okay? I don’t care what you are… Actually, that’s not completely true. I do care, because I care about you. But I think it’s amazing.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say in distress.

I’m not amazing.

I’m a monster.

The old Roberts Alpha turned me into a freak.

There’s literally no one else in the world like me, and probably for

good reason.

“That’s not true,” Ronan says fiercely, as if he doesn’t like me

talking smack about myself.

I don’t even get why he cares so much.

He doesn’t even know me.

Not really.

“What do you want from me?” I whisper, wrapping my arms around myself.

“Nothing,” Ronan says. “I know that’s probably hard to believe,

Emily. But it’s true. I don’t want anything from you, but I want to be

there for you, to help you figure yourself out.”

“What do you mean figure myself out?” I demand. “There’s

nothing to figure out.”

Ronan edges closer to me. “Yes, there is, Emily. How have you

been coping with the cravings? How have you been sustaining

that side of you? By hunting and drinking animal blood in the

forest?”

“I don’t want to talk about this!” I tell him, and try to get by him,

but he steps into my path.

“Why not?” he pushes, making me angrier, more confused, more Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org exclusive © material.

distressed.

“Because I hate that part of myself! I just want to ignore it. Do you think I like living this way?”

“It’s because you’re denying part of your nature,” Ronan tells me. “Animal blood alone can’t sustain you, Emily. You need to feed. Properly.”

“What do you mean?” I ask in a weak voice, even though I already

know what he’s going to tell me, I just don’t want to acknowledge

1. it.

“Human blood,” Ronan says, and my heart skips in my chest. “Or even better, wolf blood, although that’s technically forbidden.”

“No.” I shake my head and back up from him, but I soon come up

against the brick wall that dead ends the alley.

“You can’t keep denying what you are, Emily,” Ronan says, and there’s a hint of frustration to his voice now, as if he’s annoyed that

he’s not getting through to me, or I’m not cooperating the way he

wants me to.

“Why not?” I demand stubbornly, even though I can feel my

resolve slipping.

Because the truth is, there’s this part of me that I keep shoving

down deep inside of myself, but it just keeps rising back up

whenever I let my guard down.

And that part of me is so hungry.

Craving something I don’t understand–something I’m terrified to

understand.

“Because if you don’t it’s going to kill you,” Ronan says gravely, and I want to believe he’s just being overly dramatic, but there’s no mistaking the serious glint in his gaze.

“But…but I’m fine,” I tell him, even though I’m beginning to doubt

this myself.

“Maybe you think so,” Ronan says, stepping closer again. “But if you keep denying it, keep refusing to feed properly, it will

start killing you, if it isn’t already. Slowly. Painfully. The worst

kind of wasting sickness you can imagine. And that’s only if

you don’t lose control and go into some kind of feeding frenzy. And considering you’re currently living in the middle of a wolf pack, and wolf blood is ambrosia to even the most disciplined

of vampires, I’m guessing the feeding frenzy will happen sooner

rather than later.”

My stomach churns at the picture he’s painting.

I’m either dead, or a deadly risk to the people I love.

“What do I do?” I whisper desperately, hating that I’m apparently

destined for such a fate.

Worse, if I did go on this feeding frenzy Ronan is talking about, the Slayer is practically my babysitter. I’d be dead before I barely took

a drop.

“You start by admitting what you are, and then I help you go from there,” Ronan says, and there’s so much understanding and compassion in his voice, I can only believe he really does want the

best for me.

“Okay,” I say with a nod, my voice wavering. “I’m a wolf… But the

old Roberts Alpha experimented on me with vampire blood for years. It should have killed me.”

“But it didn’t,” Ronan says, and it’s like there’s a gleam of pride in

his gaze. “It made you stronger.”

“It made me…” I begin, before taking a breath because it feels like

I’m about to jump off a cliff. “It made me a hybrid.”

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