19
Aurora
“From now on, there is no more hiding.”
Slavik’s words echoed in my head as I stared down at him.
Two orgasms in one day, but this one with Slavik had been … the best. Cara’s touch had made me nervous.
She was a nice woman and very attractive, but I’d felt strange with her touch. Slavik was right.
It wasn’t because she was a woman. It was because she wasn’t mine.
“You’re not angry?” I asked.
“Why would I be angry?”
“I … you said…” I truly didn’t know how to finish my sentence.
One moment I’d been talking to Cara, the next I was on the bed, her hand between my thighs, showing me. Telling me how to please myself and how every woman had the right to know the key to her own pleasure.
I’d been so overwhelmed. I hadn’t been sure if this was cheating.
“Cara is not allowed to touch you. I’ll let today slide, but no more. She touches you again, I won’t be held responsible for my actions.”
“I’m not sure what to do right now,” Aurora said. She nibbled on her lip. “I’ve read all about … everything. But what about you?”
Slavik and I were married, but our relationship wasn’t anything like in the books I read.
He stroked my thighs and I had to wonder if they were large compared to the other women he was with. Did he hate my size?
Why did I even care?
I hadn’t stopped my mission to lose weight. Being out with Slavik every day had really put a wrench in my plans of weight loss.
He stood up, and I looked at him, a little unsure as he tugged his shirt off, displaying the large expanse of his heavily inked chest. I couldn’t resist licking my lips, and I felt an answering pull between my thighs. I was soaking wet. I’d never felt like this. Some of the books I read aroused me, but never like this. This was all new to me.
He grabbed his belt, loosening the buckle. The sound of clinking metal, followed by the zipper, turned me on.
His pants hit the floor, along with his boxers, and he stood before me naked. The hard length of his cock jutted out, long and thick.
I wanted to touch him. I kept my hands to myself.
He wrapped his fingers around his dick and began to work from the base up to the tip, then back down again.
“Lie back down,” he said.
I lay on the bed and spread my legs. This was what I did on our wedding night.
The bed dipped down, and I couldn’t help but tense up.
“On our wedding night, I was an asshole. I didn’t like that I had to give them the sheets after I had you.” He kissed my thigh and I jolted.
Opening my eyes-I hadn’t even realized I’d closed them-I stared up at him, waiting.
He moved between my thighs, and I held myself perfectly still.
“I didn’t get you to enjoy it and that’s my fault. The next time, you were completely dry and I used lubrication.” He reached down between us and I felt the hard tip of his cock as it brushed between my slit.
He nudged my clit, and I couldn’t contain my gasp as he touched just the right spot, causing me to arch up.
“Today, there is going to be no need for lube. No dirty bastards waiting to see the evidence of your virginity.” He placed the tip at my entrance, and I paused. “And no pain either.”
He slammed to the hilt inside me. I’d been expecting the pain, but nothing came.
No tear.
No hurt.
Just the hard tip of him sliding inside me, and it felt amazing.
Slavik smiled down at me. “And this is how it’s going to be.”
He pulled out of me until only the tip of him remained before plunging back inside, fucking me hard and fast. After a few thrusts, he stopped, holding himself deep within me.
Neither of us said a word. I couldn’t look away from him nor did I want to. This was so different from anything else I’d ever experienced. Slavik surrounded me and filled me in ways I didn’t think were possible.
Consumed.
Delighted.
I felt his hands on my hips, holding me still as he pulled out of me. “Watch me.”
There was nothing dirty within those words and yet, I felt hot all over.
I stared down at where he held himself deep within me. The length of him was naked, covered with my arousal.
Biting my lip, I try to contain my pleasured cries as he pounded within me.
One. Two. Three. Four. He fucked me hard. The bed hitting the wall with the force of the thrusts.
He put his hands on my shoulders, pinning me to the bed.
“Wrap your legs around me.”
I circled his waist and the depth took my breath away. He was big, but I hadn’t realized how much. Each time we’d had sex, I wished it would end. Not today.
The way he rode my body, driving in deep, I couldn’t think.
“Fuck, baby. That’s it.”
I didn’t know what he expected from me, but I couldn’t look away. The way he stared at me. The sheer power of his body as he drove inside me. He plunged inside one final time, and I felt each pulse as he came inside me.
This time, he stayed within me. His touch lightened and he stayed over me. He opened his eyes. There was no desire to look away. No hatred.
This was sex.
I … had no idea it could be this way.
We were both panting.
He leaned to the side, but his cock was still deep within me. “You want to be fucked?”
It wasn’t the most romantic way to end a sexual encounter.
“Don’t you want to leave?” I frowned.
“No.”
His cock had gotten soft, but even flaccid, I felt him. This was … strange.
“I, I don’t know what I want.”
“You wanted sex. I saw the way you were with Cara. You’re not afraid.”
“She was a woman, and to be honest, I didn’t know what she was doing until afterward. I enjoyed it too much to make it stop.” I covered my face with my hands. Was this a normal conversation to be had?
“I thought you were afraid and didn’t want sex.”
“What?”
“Our wedding night and the time after.”
“We’ve been married for eight months. You didn’t think to, I don’t know, tell me it could be better between us? It’s not like I’ve got some kind of roadmap for this. I don’t know what I’m doing. Everything I know is from the books I read and the classes I took at school.” Even then there hadn’t been a whole lot of information. My mom had always been vague about what went on between a man and woman.
The books made me yearn for something more. Not an abusive relationship. I witnessed that between my parents. I wished for something better.
Slavik cupped my cheek, turning me to face him. “Talk to me.”
“How?”
“Use your words.”
I burst out laughing. “Isn’t that what they say to kids?”
“You’re behaving like one.”
“We just had sex. You don’t want to be thinking of me as a kid,” I said. This was bizarre. Was this a normal conversation between a man and wife?
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“My thoughts are private.”
“Not from me.” His thumb grazing across my cheek.
“You’re not mad at me?”
“No.”
“Cara did say you were best friends. Have you ever been … together?”
“God, no. Ugh. So fucking disgusting. I get that she loves sex and she runs one of the best damn brothels in the city, but no. She’s a friend and a colleague. Nothing more.”
“Wait? A brothel?”
He laughed. “You didn’t figure that out.”
“No!” I drew out the o. “How?”
“There are men and women, and if you’ve got the right price, you can have anything you want within reason. People are addicted to what they can’t have and others find a way of putting a price on what they want. Sex is one of those products. Kind of like drugs. You get a taste and you can’t stop.”
“I can’t believe I was in a brothel. Does that mean I owe her money?”
“It was free of charge.”
“That’s not funny.”
“If you’re me, it’s hilarious.”
“I don’t think you’re funny at all.”
He winked at me and I couldn’t help but smile.
“This is nice,” I said.
“What?”
“Talking. Not being afraid to say the wrong thing.”
“I scare you that much?”
“No. I think this life scares me that much.” I shrugged. “People die. Men, women, children, it’s all part of this world. There are times I sit and wonder what it would be like to be a normal person. How they can go out and live their lives. Be free.”
“You are free.”
I averted my gaze.
“Why don’t you feel free?”
“I couldn’t even go on a shopping trip. You’re always around,” I said. “You’re waiting to find me a guard.” I blew out a breath. “College was a big no as well.”
“You wanted to go to college?”
I nodded. “My dad said no.”
“What would you have studied?”
“Business, I think. I like numbers. English as well. I love to read.”
“You’ve done a lot of reading while you’ve been here.”
“True, but then I haven’t done anything else.”
He stroked a curl back from my face. Slavik didn’t look as dangerous or as scary as he stroked my cheek. I started to feel his cock swell inside me.
As she touched me, Cara had told me to be honest with Slavik. He needed to know what I wanted in order for him to be able to give it to me.
Staring at him now, he no longer seemed scary.
“I don’t want to hate this marriage,” I said. “I … I don’t want you to hate coming home or to regret marrying me.”
“I don’t regret it.”
“I know it’s the peace treaty, but I know I’m not your first choice. Do you think it would be possible to make this work?”
He stayed silent.
Had I made a mistake?
Had Cara given me really bad advice?
I felt sick.
Panic flooded me.
“Touch me,” he said.
“What?”
“I don’t like to repeat myself.”
I rolled my eyes and put my hand flat on his chest. I felt the scars beneath the ink and I waited.
“I don’t want to hate this marriage either,” he said. “How do you suggest we change this path that we’re on?”
“We … on our dates, you don’t look at your cell phone. You talk to me. We communicate through words.”
“I can do that.”
“I…” I held up my wrist. “I’m loyal to you. To Volkov. Is there any way you can trust me?”
Slavik stared at my wrist and said nothing.
I knew it was a long shot.
Why would he trust the woman he married? I wasn’t a choice for him. He didn’t care about me. I was just another job to him. One he needed to keep alive because his boss told him to.
This was never going to work, and I was a fool for believing it would.
He took my hand and pressed a kiss to my inner wrist. “Trust is earned.”
“You expect me to trust you? You haven’t earned it.”
“Yes, I have.”
“How?”
“I never once hurt you. Sex does not count. I could have hurt you, but I didn’t.”
“You took me to your boss in order to torture me at the attack on the benefit,” I said.
“You were there to be questioned, not tortured.”
“I have to earn everything with you?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“This isn’t fair.”
He shrugged.
Silence rang between us.
The orgasm he’d given me, the sex, it all seemed empty, hollow. “You want to have a crap marriage?”
“No,” he said. “You didn’t marry a fool, Aurora. I don’t give an inch for anyone. You want my trust, you earn it. You want me to believe a single word you say, don’t lie to me. I’m willing to work to make this marriage between us bearable, but don’t for a second think you will get a submissive man. It will never happen.”
With that, he pulled out of me.
I felt his release leak out of me as I watched him walk away.
Tears spilled from my eyes and I hated myself for caring. Cara had been wrong.
Slavik and I couldn’t make this work. Neither of us had anything in common. He’d gotten what he wanted, and now, I was back to being the irritating wife.