Always Been You

~Dante’s POV~

Lola has left, and she is now somewhere outside of New York City. She is currently in Ozark. I don’t really know what went down at that party. I went out to make a phone call, and when I came back inside the house, she was already leaving. After everything that happened that day, she approached me with the proposal of ending our marriage. It seems like even the universe is against us. I am aware that we argue every time she is in the house, but I miss seeing her sneak around the house in an attempt to make herself something to eat while she is avoiding me. The house seemed so much emptier without her. The children will not stop asking about their mother, so I have no choice but to lie to them about where she is. I hate lying to them, especially with Kai and Tyler seeing through my lies. I don’t know why those two boys behave like adults. They miss their mother, and I miss her, too. Strange, I know, but the idea of seeing her and my kids under the same roof appeals to me, a sad reminder of what could have been if she trusted me and told me she was pregnant.

Fuck, I miss her. She’s been back in my life for eight good months, and I’m already hooked on what could have been all over again. I just can’t see past her betrayal. Since she was gone, I attempted to call her to explain what had happened, but her phone was turned off. I heard a light knock on the door.

“Please come in,” I ordered, and the door opened to reveal a concerned Kai.

“Are you okay, son?” I asked, and he closed the door behind him. He looked nervous and started pressing his fingers together. I knew he was nervous because I used to clench my fists when I was nervous when I was younger. I smiled, knowing that my son behaves similarly to me.

“You nervous.” He nodded when I pointed. I smiled once more.

“You guys fought again, didn’t you?” I went completely still. Lola and I have been doing everything we can to keep everything hidden from them. And what the fuck does he mean again? I swallowed and cleared my throat.ConTEent bel0ngs to Nôv(e)lD/rama(.)Org .

“What do you mean, again?” And how on earth would he know all of this?

“When we were in Ozark, each time we asked of you, mom would say you were a busy man and that you loved us more than anything. I knew that was a lie. When she was lying, she never looked us in the eyes, and you are doing the same. Daddy, can you please bring mom home?” I stood up in my chair, speechless. I hugged him and apologized for my and his mother’s actions.

“She will be back by today, son. We didn’t fight.” Another lie on my part. I left my study with him and headed to the office.

It was at noon when my door flung open and I watched as Lola threw the divorce papers at me. My expression was filled with regret. I did this. I fucking caused this. Caroline was a one-time thing, and I had no idea she knew Candice. I Dante fucking fell for Candice’s schemes yet again. I don’t blame Lola for not trusting me. I’ve been nothing but a pain, but still, I can’t bring myself to forgive her for keeping our family apart. If she had trusted me and told me she was pregnant, I could have been a good father and a good husband. But she thought she knew the answers to everything. She thought I would choose Candice over my own children. I know I was an ass after our wedding night, but still, I deserved to know. Signing these papers with this hatred and a lot of unsettled issues between us won’t work. I can’t tell her I won’t sign them because she’ll be peeved. There is no trust between us. She thinks I was part of what happened the other day. I am many things, but I will never do that to the mother of my children. Even if we have nothing else to say to each other, the fact remains that she is the one who gave birth to my children. That will never happen to her under my watch. Candice got under her skin, and now she hates me for what I didn’t even do.

“About 5 years ago, you didn’t trust me. You ran away because you were under the impression that you knew what was best for me. Today, yet again, you are running from your problems. Five years ago, you made our children fatherless, and today you want to make them motherless. Is this what you want?” I paused, and she stood there without a word, tears threatening to come out. “You believe someone who whispered something to you, and as a result, you want to give up on your children. You believe the person who whispered to you because you just can’t trust me. You didn’t trust me 5 years ago, and you still don’t trust me now. Don’t you think you’re making the same mistake again, Lola?” She didn’t answer me, but I’ll be damned if I allow her to judge me and have her view me in that way. “Five years ago, you thought I loved Candice more than you; you thought my vows were not valid. All I ever wanted was for you to be patient with me while I ended things with Candice, but you served me with divorce papers and ran away. Why?” She bit her lower lip and averted her gaze from me. I did a little, leaning back in my chair and looking at her; it was obvious that she was getting anxious at this point. “Look, I know after our wedding I did some things and said things I wasn’t supposed to say. But this is childish, Lola. You didn’t even make an effort to listen to my side of the story, but you already made the assumption that I had taken you there on purpose to embarrass you. Why do you always have to think the worst of me? I will sign these papers, but I would prefer to do so in an atmosphere where there is no animosity or unresolved conflict between us.” That was what I said as I grabbed my phone to make a call to Lev.

Dante: Lev, come to my office to pick up Lola. The kids need her.

I hung up the call and looked at her. “They have been asking about your whereabouts. We will discuss this further when I have the opportunity, and if you so desire, you are free to break the news to them on your own that we are going through a divorce.” She just stood there in one place till Lev arrived, and she followed him home. I pressed my intercom button.

“Charlotte, please cancel all my meetings for today and get my lawyer to meet up with me at 4 p. m. Get the people whose cars Lola rented to come and collect their car in our parking lot.” I got off the phone and powered down my computer after I finished the conversation.

I need serious help.