ALWAYS AND FOREVER

Kathy Pov

I sat on my bed sad and feeling stupid, I never imagined my life could get worst but the universe really had a way of bringing me back to the reality that I can never truly be happy for once, I thought I would be lucky but maybe not, but this hurts more. I laid in bed wishing for it all to be a bad, bad, dream but it wasn’t, each time I open my eyes, it just didn’t go away, I got up from the bed and walked out of the room, going over to my car, I thought of driving to his office and giving him a piece of my mind right there, but I couldn’t, I didn’t want the humiliation that comes with doing that, so I went back upstairs to the room, I couldn’t even cry, it was as if the tears that came with the initial shock was all the tears I had left, I just continued staring around the room, with no form or directions, all my mind could think about was leave this house, but I couldn’t leave without first confronting the bastard cheater, I needed to see his reaction.

A knock on the door put a temporary stop to my emotional torment.

“Yes, come in,”

I said, and Nora walked in, I remembered then that I had told her to let me know when she wants to make dinner, I didn’t want to do it again right now.

“It’s dinner time, just said I should remind,”

She said.

“Oh, okay, I will be there in five minutes,”

I answered I didn’t want her to ask me questions because she can be nosy sometimes so I decided to go ahead and make the dinner while waiting for the cheater to come back home.

“You look tired, are you sure you don’t want to sit and I will do the cooking?”

Nora asked for the Fourth time since I came down to the kitchen.

“No, Nora, I am okay, I got this,”

I said, forcing a smile in her direction, I honestly should take her advice and leave the kitchen but I didn’t want to go back to the room and sit lonely, it make me think and I didn’t want that.

“Can I ask you a question instead,”

I asked, and she nodded.

“How does your husband cope with you working away from home?”

I asked, I wanted anything to distract me from the things going on in my head and I have always wondered how Nora’s husband takes her working away from home, she only goes home once in a while.

“We are divorced, I am currently single, so I can work, and my kids are all grown, whenever I leave here, I either go to visit them or go see my friends, my husband and I have been divorced for quite a while now, we were only married for five years, I never remarried but he did, and I am happy for him,”

She answered smiling, I couldn’t help but think about what I will do after Cross and I go our separate ways, I already know he would end up remarrying, and I already know who that will be, it hurt to think about it but I was sure about it, I wonder if he would at least be there for our kid, I didn’t mind taking care of her on my own though.

“I am sorry to ask, but why did you guys divorce? Did he cheat on you? I am sorry I am asking all these questions,”

“No, it’s okay, and he didn’t cheat on me, he was a good husband, but we just weren’t compatible enough and had too much misunderstanding, and we decided to separate, we are still cool though,”

She said, her story was totally different from mine, my husband was a cheat and a liar, and there is no way we can be friends after we separate, I am going to request full custody of our kid, I don’t want her growing up to a cheating bastard as a father, I concluded, my child would not grow up with a man like Cross no way.

“Hey, my dear, are you okay?”

Nora asked and I realized I had tears in my eyes, I quickly wiped them off and smiled.

“Yes, I am fine, it must be the onions,”

I replied blaming the onion she was slicing, we cooked in silence, I did everything I could to stop myself from thinking about what happened, I kept checking the time though, and with each passing minute, I got more anxious and upset.

By the time we finished cooking it was already past six pm, I ate the little I could force myself to eat, just so my child won’t starve, and went upstairs to the room, I made up my mind to end this as calm as I can, I wasn’t going to shout or scream or curse at him, I am just going to tell him that I was done with the marriage, I am going to go home, spend the holidays with my family and come back to New York to continue schooling, until maybe when my baby is ready to be born, then I can pause school to start motherhood, I am going to move on from Cross and live for my baby and me. My mind made up, I laid on the bed, I kept checking the clock and expecting to hear the sound of his car entering the house but I fell asleep and when I woke up it was already dark outside, and he wasn’t back.

“He told me he would be back earlier, did he really go back to get another round before coming home to his naive wife?”Content from NôvelDr(a)ma.Org.

I asked myself out loud as I made my way out, I checked the car park and his car wasn’t there, I then moved on to the garden, I needed fresh air, and I needed to get my thoughts in order, the garden was built-in and had soft lights, I sat on the bench, placed my phone on the table and looked up at the night sky through the opening in the garden, everything was so bright, almost everything because right now, my heart and my whole world had this darkness, I felt lost in it, I checked my time again and bite back tears, it was almost ten pm, he hasn’t even bothered to call and tell me he would come late.